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Individual poor allegedly have very little money, not even enough to afford an AOL account. Thus there are no poor on the internets, because although they have the same amount of disposable income as the internet poor, they wisely prefer to spend it on the mildly addictive necessities of life - such as alcohol and crack - rather than cripplingly addictive pastimes such as MMORPGs. Many of the poor act like a twisted evil twin of a camwhore, except instead of hiding their ugly on the internets with internet disease so sad bastards will send them money to see their boobs, the poor try to look as ugly as possible IRL so people will give them money to go away now plzkthx. Poor people are sometimes referred to as "povs", short for impoverished.
Poor are not to be confused with hobos, which are honest, working people who travel across the nation attempting to liberate us from the U.S. government. For more information on hobos, consult The Areas of My Expertise, an almanac containing information on many things, including hobos and their names.
Poor is also what the USA (and subsequently the rest of the world) is going to be when the recession turns into a depression. And that includes all kinds of poverty: material poverty, government-endorsed poverty, and putting faith above everything else.
The Deserving Poor
People who deserve to be poor include;
People who not only deserve to be poor but should be deliberately drowned and then forced to live in a swamp include;
Places the Poor Can be Found
- Redneck Wonderland
- Trailer parks
- At your local library
- Drowning in a bottle of whiskey
- Shooting up heroin behind a dumpster
- Smoking sherm in a filthy public bathroom
- Unemployment office
- The partially submerged ruins of Haiti
- Outside a GameStop
- Doing meth with your mom
- Fapping with your dad
- Giving it to your sister in the pooper
- In a basement trying to sell Encyclopedia Dramatica T-shirts on line.
- In a public toliet
- In a 24-hour restaurant
- In a church
Occupations of the Poor
Though the common stereotype that "povs" do not work is generally correct, a percentage of them do indeed have jobs:
- Gas station attendant
- Fast Food worker
- Cannon fodder for George W. Bush's war machine
- Studying a masters degree in cultural studies.
- Being you
- Selling Drugs
- Bench warmer in your local park. They come in 2 variations: Drunk (Not rare at all) and Sober (Chances of finding one of these are about 0.05%)
What to do if you find a Poor
- Capture him and put him in a cage.
- Catch another poor.
- Offer them whiskey and meth to fight.
- Videotape fight.
Don't have a camera? Here are a few easy ways to profit from the poor:
- Use them as a platform on which to build your cult.
- Tell them you have some meth. They will do anything for meth.
- Harvest their organs.
Amazing, highly uplifting video about poverty
is part of a series on
[Go Live One]