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Health Care Rage
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—Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.
The old media has the distinct disadvantage of being pasteurized of any sort of anger at all when it comes to reporting news on the recent health care bill’s passage. Sure, you can turn on buffoons like Hannity, Beck, and O’Reilly and listen to them cry out words like “Authoritarianism” and “Tyranny,” but you just cannot get the full spectrum of fury that the ever-changing internet displays. Comments on news articles, forum rants, and blogs demonstrate, in a grand manner, the ability of common idiots to jump to the next level of absurdly moronic behavior.
And it isn’t just the right-wing mouth-breathers who are in on this gig. Liberal hippies, long known for their horrendously loud mouths, have added to the online cacophony, ramping up the vitriol to never before seen levels of acrimony. These internet tantrums, akin to the phenomena of being a sore winner, are dripping with smarmy jabs and ad hominem attacks that, when observed by those on the right, incite even further spasms of spittle flinging ire.
This vicious circle, made of conservative punch and liberal counter-punch, is what makes Health Care Rage so full of absurdity, but the best part, by far, is that the debate is only beginning, and it has already spilled into IRL.
By now you probably know more about health care reform than you ever thought you would have to know or ever wanted to know. If you do not, the events of March, 2010 have probably brought you up to speed quite quickly. In a nutshell, the Obama administration had the desire to pass a bill into law that would reform how health care, insurance companies, and small business owners would be dealt with in the future. Obama cited several reasons for this, including:
- helping the needy (see also: NIGGERS)
- driving down existing health care costs (while also driving up taxes and killing small businesses)( While also counter acting that by making it so small business's don't have to provide health care to employees)
- ensuring that health care stays affordable in the future (sticking your children with ballooning payments into an untested void that no one is sure will work)
What President Obama didn’t realize at the time was that roughly 50% of the American population didn’t want to fix health care and the above cited reasons were a bunch of crap. The other 50% who supported the bill did so out some feeling of remorse over how the health care industry has treated poor, disadvantaged folks and also because they believed it was high time for this reform to be made. Obama himself had ulterior motives, namely his presidential legacy…even though he already has that sewn up because he’s black. But, remember kids, all statistics are made up on the spot.
In any event, the bill was voted on and passed. Conservatives cited that the move to vote on the bill in the house was unconstitutional and therefore illegal. Liberals cited the never-ending republican filibuster was an extreme measure that needed to be circumvented so that real change could be made for the betterment of the American people. What everybody cited was the fact that nobody had read the bill all the way through and that it was fully understood by nobody. This intricate lack of understanding has prompted rage from both sides of congress as well. Republicans argue that it is packed full of pork and communism, liberals claim that the bill needed to be passed to be fully understood. This was illustrated best by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stating “We have to pass this bill to see what it contains.”
On Thursday, June 28, 2012, the Supreme Court upheld the reforms signed into law by Black Jesus in 2010. This caused massive asspain to the right, many of whom plan to move to Canada, because they don't have Nationalized Healthcare there. Oh, wait... they do.
Cast of Characters
To gain a better understanding of the whole mess…and to figure out who people are talking about, it is best to introduce a limited dramatis persona so that Encyclopedia Dramatica readers can fully understand who they are reading about.
Elected as part of the liberal backlash against George Bush, Obama promised “Change!” as his election platform. Nobody knew where this change might be coming from, and nobody knew which direction it was headed, but whatever the case, it landed firmly on health care reform. Liberals think he is the messiah and conservatives think he is either the second coming of Lenin, Hitler or the Anti-Christ, they can’t seem to make up their minds.
The Tea Party
Obama’s main opponent in all of this mess. Tea Party members claim to be the voice of America’s John Q. Public, but more often than not they end up looking like rich greedy ungrateful assholes, or the brainless redneck sheep whos 50+ hours a week of labor keep aforementioned assholes undeservedly spoiled. Originally founded by Fox News shortly after Obama’s election, Tea Party members want to convey a conservative agenda in difference to moderate reform, but since they denounce every word that comes out of a democrats mouth, they usually appear to be toting some party line.
On the day of the actual vote, Tea Party protesters in Washington were accused of hurling such insults as “NIGGER” and “FAGGOT” at House members as they entered the capital building. Since no youtube video files of this exist, it can be speculated that this name-calling was just fiction drummed up by democratic supporters of the bill.
Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives and as such, she is second in line to the Presidency behind Joe Biden if somebody decides to shoot Obama. Conservatives view her as a shrill harpy of a woman who is incapable of opening her mouth without lying. Liberals view her as the living combination of Mother Teresa and Santa Claus…who brings gifts of good will, Medicare and Medicaid benefits, charity, and welfare to all the good little minority boys and girls.
Public Law 111-148 was passed by congress on March 23, 2010 by a 219-212 vote. Democrats mostly voted along their party line, with a noticeably small amount of dissenters (39). Republicans voted in lockstep as well, with every last one of them voting against the bill. It was not enough and the bill was passed as a law on March 25, 2010 along with some reforms tossed in called the “Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010.”
Republicans say that the bill (now a law for the time being) is packed full of all sorts of communistic bullshit and as many as 38 state attorneys general began preparing lawsuits to block the law at the states level. This is where the real hate begins to stir. Despite the fact that Obama, for much of his early presidency, had a supermajority, he was unable to pass the bill in the Senate. With the death of Senator Teddy Kennedy, he lost his supermajority and was now vulnerable to a Senate Fillibuster…which is basically people getting and keeping the floor of the House by talking gibberish. The only way to pass the bill was to go around the congress and push a vote via the “Slaughter Rule” which is an unconstitutional way to just pass a bill without a vote because an already similar bill had been voted on and passed.
Democrats say that the law (the lawsuits don’t exist yet) is for the good of the people whether they want it or not. They cite the massive rise in healthcare costs and say that their constituents are sick of being pushed around by republican fat cats…and they just aren’t going to take it anymore. Also, they feel that the models of Canada and Europe should be emulated, because free healthcare works so well in those communities.
<video type="youtube" id="HetBOMmGxmE" width="200" height="200" desc="I'm not sure you want to watch pundits like Imus discussing this." frame="true" position="right"/>
- Rush Limbaugh. A political windbag who says that healthcare reform is the first massive step towards socialism and (gasp) communism.
- Glenn Beck. Another pundit who can’t keep his mouth shut about the illegalness of the healthcare reform bill. He claims that this is the end of the world and that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. Raped and murdered a young girl In 1990.
- Harry Reid. Democratic Senator of Nevada. He is pro-life yet supported the healthcare bill despite the fact that it would pay for abortions with tax money.
- Stupak-Pitts Amendment. An amendment that removed free abortions from the healthcare reform bill. While the language of the Stupak-Pitts Amendment was left out of the actual healthcare reform law, it was added by Obama via Executive Order 13535. This was a case of cutting off something that was wanted…because nobody in their right minds would actually vote FOR free, abortions paid for with tax dollars.
- November 2, 2010 Midterm election day in the United States. On this Tuesday, all 435 seats in the United States House of Representatives and 36 of the 100 seats in the United States Senate will be contested in this election along with 38 state and territorial governorships, many state legislatures, four territorial legislatures and numerous state and local races. Because of this, many political pundits believe that the healthcare reform bill passing will make this election day one of extreme anger and extreme right-wing victories.
Let the Rage Begin
Now that all of the history and players are set, it is now time to display what has gone on so far on the internet.
—Conservatives are eating WAAAAAAHnilla ice cream cones.
Don't lose your mind, there are videos for both Liberal rage and Republican rage, just scroll through.
The view from Britain
- See also: Obamacare
In the UK's National Health Service, heart attack victims have to queue for three days in the corridor before being given a second hand aspirin pumped from the stomach of a failed suicide, and then are usually misdiagnosed and have their leg cut off or something by an Azn who got a medical degree online at the University of Africa. YouGov, the crap polling organisation, asked UK victims of the NHS;
97% answered "yes". (The other 3% were in a vegetative coma after been deliberately run over by communist NHS ambulances.)
- Where America is Heading
- Why do you hate America?
This being a rather hot-button topic right now, to see an example of this sort of thing, one only need to use a search engine with the following search terms: Pelosi, Harry Reid, Obama, Health Care, Reform, Senate, House, Canada, Europe, Dialysis.
- Full text of the bill - have fun reading through this thing.
- Key points within the bill
- A Drunken Rage over health care reform allegedly sent a man on a shooting rampage at his town of Polk home.
- Health Care Backlash
- Moar Backlash!
- Healthcare reform could cause civil war.
- The only thing worse than winning ugly is losing uglier.
- Low GI Foods: For additional information on Low GI Foods
|Featured article April 2, 2010|
|Health Care Rage||Succeeded by|
New York Yankees
|Featured article June 30 & July 1, 2012|
|Health Care Rage||Succeeded by|