⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
Haskell is a functional committee-planned programming language that wants everything done its way and no one else's. Although it claims to play well with others, this is a complete lie, and it never leaves its mother's basement. Haskell's codebase is fucking huge, weighing in at almost a gigabyte for the main compiler and other essential utilities.
Haskell is similar to Firefox in that there are thousands of extensions that can be enabled, that way Haskell can be turned into Python in case the user is uncomfortable with functional programming. Also like Firefox, Haskell is a language that everyone talks about, but no one uses.
The Early Years
Many years ago, a group of researchers decided that out of the 200 different functional programming languages that were available at the time, all of them sucked equally. However, Miranda, the cream of the crap, had the largest ass and was chosen to become the base from which Haskell would be born.
Simon Peyton Jones and his merry band of mathematicians, hereto-after referred to as "the gang," went to work on what they figured would become the best programming language ever...
The IO Question
Once the gang finished planning their language, they realized they had created something that had no I/O. In other words, when a Haskell program ran, the box heated up, but nothing happened. Realizing their ghastly mistake, the gang tried various kinds of methods in order to address the issue. They experiemented with Xylatol, Mixadolin V, Quothenol D, and Bayer Children's Heroin. Finally, after a 17-hour long trip on Ritalin, the gang pulled an obscure concept out of Category Theory, known only as the "Monad."
What the Fuck is a Monad?
A Monad is kind of like a box (only it's not), in which data may be "placed" inside of it (only it's not). A Monad is a lot like a Chinese finger trap; once you get your dick caught in it, there's no getting it out. In other words, Monads are a prison for data. Monads are the sole reason people have a hard time understanding Haskell. In fact, the concept of Monads is so scary that the fact that they are scary is scary in and of itself, disabling people from even attempting to understand Monads.
Although no one talks about it, there is a super 1337 backdoor into the monad prison system (as far as IO goes, anyway).
Prelude> import System.IO.Unsafe Prelude> :t getLine -- Uh oh, evil IO has taken our data prisoner! getLine :: IO a Prelude> x = unsafePerformIO getLine Prelude> :t x x :: a -- Congrats, assface!
The Now Years
Today, Haskell remains the single most talked about language that no one uses. Many have tried to use Haskell, but are unable to comprehend the dizzingly abstract concept of a Monad. Even the word, "Monad," scares the hell out of most programmers. Entire books have been written just about Monads. However, most of them are very cryptic, and their authors probably don't even know what a monad is.
So, instead of doing anything constructive with the language, most people just write about the language like the dumb pricks they are, while the gang continues to make more language extensions that no one will use.
module Main where main = putStrLn "Wello Horld!"
Get 'er Done
module Main where class Fuckable a where fuck :: a -> Maybe a data Dog = Dog String Bool instance Fuckable Dog where fuck (Dog name fucked) = if fucked then Nothing else Just (Dog ("Fucked " ++ name) True) screwThePooch :: Dog -> Maybe Dog screwThePooch = fuck main = do let myDog = Dog "Jackson" False return $ screwThePooch myDog
Hack the Gibson
module Main where import System.Gibson import System.Gibson.SecretCodes hack = hackTheGibson secretCode1 main = return hack
Below is a list of notable works written in Haskell.
- The Gibson
- Haskell - Yes, it is written in itself.
- Windows 95
- HackWare V3.4 Xcelsior Edition
- Dat Ass
- Learn You a Haskell for Great Good
- Haskell.org - Stop being a bitch and use it.
- LearnYouAHaskell.com - Stop being a bitch and learn it.
Haskell is part of a series on Programming.
[Enter the Matrix]
Haskell is part of a series on
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