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    Hacking

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search

    See also: Hackers

    SPOILER: This article is written by script kiddies on acid. It is utter shite. You can help by becoming an hero over it.
    File:Ne-oh's.jpg
    Hacking illustrated

    Most scholars agree that 'hacking' (actually a bastardisation of computer 'cracking') refers to an activity in dealing with computers, which is generally regarded as a technically hard thing to do. There are of course differing descriptions as well. Over the course of history the world has been separated in to four schools over the meaning of hacking:

    • According c_Ne0 (Josh Miller M/14/CA), Hacking is the process whereby you destroy someone's life through the internet, and has to do with cool console with greenish characters that flicker and scroll and a lot of ones and zeros (color 0A and then dir /s). This theory also claims hacking some faggots Makes you a pretty cool guy.
    • According to Ellie Miller (F/32/CA): Although 133t h4xx0rz claim it involves "skill", it's simply as easy as giving AIDS to someones daughter. (Of course while it might be true for some of you to see a root of a box you didn't buy, it is logically impossible for any anon to ever have seen the female genitalia (except for pedobear), let alone contract AIDS you can spread.*Some subjectively-instrumentally oriented scholars think of hacking as a way of life. Most of them also agree that this way of life composes of sitting in a swivel chair and having minimal female company throughout one's life.
    • According to the most recent theory hacking is in fact a dialect of the english language that's closest lingual relative is Cockney and Cock-mongling.


    Techniquez


    File:PhishingEmbed.jpg
    contains neolithic-period skripts
    1. The most common hacking method is to open your internet browser and to type into the URL bar "/hack" followed by the thing you wish to hack. Example: "/hackCIAsatellites". then click on 'yes'. This is by far the easiest and most efficient way to hack and always yields good results.
    2. Using worms on computer networks is as old as the fucking network. There was some shit in the 1970s and 1980s with school networks I read about on unix fortune which I use as a screensaver. (Somebody who knows about the early days, type something in)
    3. Trojans were the fucking thing in the 90s Since people downloaded lots and lots of Windows executables, it wasn't very difficult to write one that started a server in autoexec.bat and logged to some IRC (The incredible mastery of fopen, fwrite and whatever the OS had for sockets). Only retards download trojans nowadays.
    4. Overflowing a string, one way of "just overwriting" a CPU register was first done in 1988. It became standard practice after it was released in Phrack magazine in -96. Retards from my age group who grew up back then still have trouble accepting that trojans, db injects, XSS and bruteforcing are hacking. Only buffer overflows and DNS-spoofs is hacking...
    5. Database injects became popular in about 2000 after some rudementary security was put in place. Simple as fuck. The second resort of kids after bruteforcing failed, when it doesn't work they flood. Have a cheatsheet to get the basic idea.
    6. XSS is the process of injecting shit on websites. Hacking your email account used to entail these, now it plagues forums and wikis. They can be used to fetch your cookies and spoof SQL injects.
    7. Bruteforcing. Oh well, AES was put in place in 1997 to replace DES in US national security, draw your own conclusions. Before 2000 bruteforcing usually entailed a supercomputer. Now, due to Bill Gates, botnets are used instead. Bruteforcing is also popular among script kiddies, it usually gets them a ban from the science lab since police don't really give a fuck if you entered login: root, password: root on your schools nix. For extra-credit, bruteforce /etc/passwd or /etc/shadow on a Windows box.
    8. Spoofing takes many forms, some XSS amounts to spoofing
      • Faked login skript: Generate one by acquiring webspace, copying the HTML from some site (e.g. Facebook), make your own php or perl backend to log coming requests, link 'n profit.
      • DNS spoof. Hacking a software called 'bind' at some point in the DNS-server tree, which is what Angyl's merry group of trolls did to 4chan. Old versions of bind have a fair amount of overflow bugs on them as well as points (aka race conditions) to put in your own regs, but probably you better just stick with the program and bruteforce the registration password.
      • Pharming. Usually means fucking with the DNS at the point of request, the client rather than the server. Same methods apply as above. Just hack the home ISP servers instead of the server end ones. Or beat the DNS server to answering the request - useful if you have a T3 and several hacked routers, I don't.
    9. Social engineering. This is classed as a valid method of hacking your target, despite the fact that the only piece of technology you use is a telephone to blab into. this involves begging/tricking/bribing/blackmailing some fucktard on a calldesk for important information like the OSs the target runs, network/firewall/anti-virus gear installed, internal telephone numbers, maybe get him to reset a password or two if you're ultra whiney and annoying (and you will be, because you're a hacker ).

    Linguistics

    Hackslang"I think my game of life has been going half to hell, the partyvan bitches found out three of boxes I own after sum dimwit admin somehow found my leet spoilts - i quess it was tripwire, one fukken masterpiece - and run a packet sniffer."
    Proper English "Three of the computers I use to facilitate illegal and morally questionable access to other computers were recently acquired by the law enforcement services. This happened after a system administrator rightly ran a packet capture program and found out about my illegal compiled and inline programs. This interlude might have been triggered by running the tripwire program, I do so abhor that program."

    History of hacking

    Hacking was first discovered in late 1971 by a 26-year-old soldier who had just gotten out of Vietnam and his blind, crippled Mexican friend by using a whistle they found in a box of Captain Crunch. No, srsly, I'm not kidding. They found that this whistle could give them free phone calls and shit, which allowed them to troll IRL all over the world, sending lulzy (but FREE) calls to China or black person. In 1973, they showed two fags named Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak how to hack the phone system using their techniques (though by this time they had gone from a Captain Crunch whistle to a contraption they built themselves). Steve Jobs later founded Apple and gave blowjobs because his last name is Jobs.

    How to hack

    Websites

    Emailz

    • Subscribe them to a bunch of mailing lists.

    IRC

    Game Hacking

    Note

    Let it be known that if you are just copying and pasting it doesn't make you a hacker. No matter how many times you do it. Hacking exposed should answer your more retarded questions of what is and isn't hacking.

    PS. Bubba's interest

    Bubba appreciates you reading this article. Bubba loev shota. You can help Bubba find a reasonable love life in prison by following this simple checklist:

    1. Download, install nmap, nessus and every other tool and script imaginable. No trojan can penetrate your awesomeness
    2. Use Vista or some any other Gate$ driven OS written under the philosophy: "security is a joke"
    3. Become cocky over your skill-level (yeah, proxys are for 10zers and fuck remailers)
    4. when words fail, SYN-flood!
    5. Build a botnet
    6. Ethics - wtf, anything goes!
    7. Hack .gov sites, you are so 1337
    8. ????
    9. PROFIT

    How to protect yourself

    Who you should hack

    Air Gap Hacking for when you're not connected to the Internet:

    The Government has found a way to hack your your shitty device using an inaudible sound to ultimately access your computer and mobile device without consent (input almost rape there) without an Internet connection. So, for example, you win the Golden iPod and celebrate happily but in the first day before you even connect said iPod to an Internet it gets hacked by a faggot who wants the shit you inputted on it than leave behind malware like shit clinging to the hair of an asshole. The inaudible sounds (input link to blind or deaf) than gets picked up by a microphone than grants access to a device. Upon testing this air wave it was released that it can go up to 65 feet far but people who've tested it state that it goes farther by forming a mesh network with the addition of additional devices nearby.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCXwUmb13Lo

    Poll

    Which leaves your computer more vulnerable?

    01 Running Microsoft Windows
    01 Mentioning on your Facebook page that you use "Open Sesame" for all your passwords.

    See also

    Nagasaki.jpg
    Hacking

    is part of a series on

    Taking Down ED

    [Retreat!Do It Faggot]

    Born to Kill.jpg
    Distinguished Individuals

    03bgood2cashAeverine NievesAkai DaliaAngel LocsinA Man in BlackArgent009AsalieriAush0kBill9929Brian MartinChris-chanChrissie BarmoreCircaRigelClayranger89Daniel BrandtDivineAngelDonald Buffkin/Tablecowdrp1zzaElizabeth Minami WyvillErin AnthonyFeltchoFlardoxGirlvinylGrace SaundersHayakainIntellectual CheckmateJDubsJim ProfitKevin MartinLibertarian FoxLinkaton FuraitoLove ShyLulz in hell TrollfagsMarjan SiklicMeowbarkMike SandymootNate SpidgewoodOliver D. SmithOnideusPacificoceanasiaPaul FetchPixelBeeProductionsPreachingthegospelPrince JeremyPrinceDumuziPurelilyRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRusty RaySceptreSheWolfSirius OrionisSpleeNfatSteve Hodder-WattSue BaskoTom NewtonVampiricSpektorVordrakWwwarea

    Noble Internet Entities

    AnontalkAnti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.comConservapediaDeviantARTFailcyclopediaJosephevers.blogspot.comMetafilterMyAdoptsOhInternetRationalWikiRipoff ReportUltraviolet News NetworkUncyclopediaWikiFurWikipedia

    Glorious Civilizations

    AboriginesAustraliaChinaMalaysiaPhilippines

    Related Subjects and Methods

    CensorshipDDoSFree SpeechGet a LawyerHackingMake a PetitionNotify the FBISerious BusinessSOPAThe Græt Niggercide of Old EDWriting an article for UncyclopediaYou vs. ED

    Portal trolls.png

    Hacking is part of a series on

    Trolls

    Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

    Hacking
    is part of a series on serious business
    Serious Concepts

    Free SpeechIdentity theftIronyInternet assholeInternet CelebritiesInternet diseaseInternet dramaInternet humanitariansInternet LawInternet lawsuitInternet lawyerInternet stalkingInternet tough guyInternet Vigilante GroupOperation Falcon PunchSwattingWorld Wide Web Consortium

    People & Organizations

    2cashAlan TuringCasey SerinDavid HockeyDear Cis PeopleDoxbinFast EddieGrace SaundersHallcats SquadronJessi SlaughterMary BellMeek MillKittensMaja SchmidtMissyNiggest Crook ForcePsychopathVloggerheadsWEB SHERIFF



    Hacking is part of a series on Security Faggots

    1337 h4x0rz

    Captain CrunchCult of the Dead CowDavid L. SmithGary McKinnonGOBBLESHD MooreJeff MossKevin MitnickLance M. HavokRobert MorrisTheo de RaadtweevWoz


    Try-Hards

    2cashAnonOpsBrian SalcedoFearnorFry GuyGadi Evrong00nsHack This SiteHacking TeamhannJoanna RutkowskaJohn FieldJoseph CampLizard SquadLulzSecMark ZuckerbergMarshviperXMasters of DeceptionMichael LynnKrashedRavenr000tRyanSteve Gibsonth3j35t3rThe RegimeSabuZeekill


    Related Shit

    AviraCiscogateCloudflareConfickerCyberDefenderDefconThe GibsonThe Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007HeartbleedI GOT NORTON!Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?Operation SundevilPIFTS.exeSocial engineeringStylometrySubSevenZone-H