The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, or HAARP, is an American research program funded by the US Air Force and Navy. Its purpose is to analyze the happenings in the ionosphere and the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology. Although that does not sound like a lulzy topic for ED, read on (trust us): HAAARP does far more harm than good. For those who weren’t educated stupid, HAAAARP was responsible for a number of natural and unnatural disasters, including the famous Haiti earthquake of early 2010 and the recent Iceland Volcano Eruption . Perhaps HAAAAARP is an example that luminously highlights the positive impact of the US of A.
Abilities, objectives, and other uses
According to the US government and TOW, the HAAAAAAARP project aims to direct a 3.6 MW signal, in the 2.8-10 MHz region of the HF band, into the ionosphere. While this may sound somewhat innocuous, one must recall that in the early 1900s Nikola Tesla was experimenting with similar concepts of energy projection and ended up destroying a large portion of an uninhabited forest in Siberia. After his death, the US federal government seized his patents, including plans for a device that could, using the principles of resonant frequencies, vibrate things to pieces. While this device was purely physical, Tesla experimented extensively with radio waves and directed energy, and one must find it rather suspicious that the government now has a large array of radio antennas, which can be aimed in a way to direct high- and low-frequency energy at any target of their choice.
An easy-to-understand example likens the HAAAAAAAARP array to the reverse of a radio telescope: a device which sends huge amounts of radio energy into the atmosphere and space, rather than receiving signals. The catch, however, is that HAAAAAAAAARP is capable of heating a 1000 square kilometer area of the ionosphere to over 50,000 degrees, bathing the atmosphere with incredible amounts of radiation. It is this radiation that effectively shot down the US Space Shuttle Columbia in 2003. Some speculate that an Al-Qaeda operative, under the guise of a college student doing research, activated the HAAAAAAAAAARP array on that fateful day in an attempt to disable a communications satellite broadcasting anti-Muslim propaganda. Because Muslims are all filthy Godless retards, he was completely unaware that the radiation he had unleashed caught the Columbia in its path, disabling communications, damaging navigation computers, and knocking the lander off-course, essentially shooting it down in midair.
Another useful application of the HAAAAAAAAAAARP project is to affect and control the weather. The array's heating effect on the atmosphere can be utilized to create high and low pressure systems, redirect the jet streams. This could be used in both positive and detrimental manners, improving the weather in major US cities or causing massive monsoons or super-hurricanes to destroy those less-important countries.
—you got me
HAAAAAAAAAAAARP was recently thrust into the spotlight once more in the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti and the lesser earthquakes occurring in various places around the Earth afterwards. Haiti, however, was not the first example of HAAAAAAAAAAAAARP affecting earthquakes. In 2008, a large quake struck China, killing 68,712 people (who were almost immediately replaced by the Chinese government's population control measures.) Before the quake struck, strange glowing clouds appeared, similar to those seen in the Aurora Borealis or those seen as a side effect of HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP nuking the atmosphere. Clearly HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP and China's earthquake are related.
The Haiti earthquake of 2010 is unforgettable to the people of the world. Why so? After all, there were numerous earthquakes before and after about which nobody particularly cared. Of course, the contributing factor to it being unforgettable was that every country was trying to suck their people dry by begging for their money to buy watermelons and fried chicken for all of the black person that, unfortunately, survived. This could have never happened, the earthquake or the Jew-inspired actions of sucking money, if HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP ceased to exist.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRP is responsible for (Insert latest bizarre event)
- The 2010 European cold snap.
- The downing of TWA Flight 800
- The Columbine High School shootings.
- The downing of Polish Air Force Tu-154 killing the President of Poland, Lech Kaczyński.
- The 2009 Swine Flu Pandemic.
HolocaustNevarmind, it didn't happen.
- The 2010 Chile earthquake.
- The AIDS epidemic.
- The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre.
- The 2011 Rapture
- European Rapefugee crisis.
- Iceland's volcano eruption.
- W getting elected.
- The economic crisis.
- Polish crash
- Guatemala sinkhole
- Pompeii 79 AD
- Hurricane Sandy
- Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 vanishing.
—not for sheeple
- Official Homepage
- A satellite-view of HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP (Note the large portion of the site that is obscured.)
- A bunch of stuff about HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP
- Hahahaha... oh God, it's like Geocities
- Guess what? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP is really just HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP Jr!
- Haiti-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP connection on boingboing
- Click here to search for crazy lulz
HAARP is part of a series on
HAARP is part of a series on
|Featured article May 12, 2010|
The Human Centipede