Kamille Still Denies His Faggotry
ZZ Gundam
After the epic fail that was Zeta Gundam, the Argama lands at some shitty colony where they pick up Jewdough, the most ALPHA AS FUCK Gundam hero ever. I mean, this guy gets bitches left and right! After Haman Karn’s Hitachi Magic Wand breaks down, she becomes a shotacon and craves Jewdough’s meaty cock. Later on Glemy starts a civil war with his loli army, leading to mutual destruction with Neo Zeon. Jewdough becomes a galactic superpimp, fucking bitches all over the galaxy.
Char's Midlife Crisis
Instead of buying a convertible and acquiring a loli girlfriend like most washed-up, middle-aged losers do, Char decides to crash an asteroid on Earth during a temper tantrum because he wants to fuck his mom. He gets his ass spanked raw by his stepdad, and then a magic T shuttles them off to Legoland where they have lots of gay sex and buttbabies. The end.
GANDAMUU WINGUUU!!!
Not only were the creators of Gundam Wing lazy enough to steal Mobile Suit Gundam's story, but instead of using regular names like Goku, Shinji or Cloud, 60% of the Gundam BOIS' names are numbers. This is absolutely nothing like Dragon Ball Z and its tendency to name characters after foods. Duo = two in Mexican, Trowa = three in English, and finally, Quatre = four in French. In fact, the other two Gundam pilots have number names too - Heero is derived from the Japanese number "one", and Wu Fei's name has the symbol for the number five in it, so not even THEIR names are very original. The show recycles two frames per second shots of toy robots swinging weapons with obviously recycled sound bits that fit no particular situation, yet they are masked by the unimportant context for which said action is warranted.
The plot revolves around the 5 Gundams and their pilots, which were chosen by a rogue organization to fight the evil military state, OZ, and...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH TL;DR.
TL;DW Episode Synopsis
So you have a healthy social life and can't find time to watch GANDAMMUUUUU WINGUUUU. Well that's okay!
Fortunately for you, you have this video here to sum up the entire series:
Characters
GANDAMUUU WINGUUU is populated by a colorful cast of interesting characters.
This character is a crazy, suicidal emo who fails to kill himself no less than three times. Despite the fact that he is a short, skinny, little punk who wears tank-tops, he is actually the most bad-ass main character of all the Gundam series. He is either in love with, or hates, Relena Peacecraft. She's a rich whore whom he repeatedly threatens to murder; but never actually does because he realizes that he just won't feel the same when he's secretly fapping to her photo. Heero's most famous line is "I'll kill you" said in total monotone because he doesn't have a personality. His Gundam turns into Starscream, and has a ridiculously hax beam rifle. After self-destructing his first Gundam in a fit of emo rage, he gets a new one with a double-barreled beam rifle that can split into two rifles and fire separately. It seems that the creators of Gundam Wing had an extreme lazer fetish.
The only actually interesting character, Duo is like what a /b/tard in a mech would be like. He calls himself the God of Death, wears a priest outfit, fucks shit up at random for no reason, makes stupid jokes, and has never had a haircut. He's gay for Heero if the fangirls can be believed. He's also retarded. His Gundam is a giant black person with a beam-bladed scythe. The English voice actor for Duo has a New Jersey accent and adds to his persona of being a raging, loud-mouthed douchebag.
An emo with foot long bangs that cover one eye so he can fight without the handicap of depth perception. Like most Japanese RPG characters, his motto is "...". He doesn't even know what his real name is. Trowa's famous line is: "I have no name. If you must call me something, call me no name." Everyone says he's an amazing pilot, even though all he ever does is plant himself in one spot and spam his machine gun until he runs out of bullets. His Gundam is bright red and orange for camouflage, and gradually adds more and more ridiculously huge gatling guns as the series progresses. He is the only one able to control his Gundam's gatling arms because years of furious, ambidextrous fapping have given his arms amazing strength. Despite this, he is an incompetent pilot that relies primarily on ammunition-based weapons rather than superior beam weaponry. Also, he's a circus clown. No shit.
A pacifist emo fag who pilots a giant death machine. His motto is "we shouldn't be fighting at all!" (See Amuro Ray, above) Quatre is a blond haired, blue-eyed Arab with 29 older sisters, all of whom are more manly than him. Like all members of the religion of peace, he wants us to believe that he's a pacifist but, will pretty much, end up killing everyone around him by smashing his Gundam into office buildings just because he can. He becomes cool when he goes crazy and tries to kill everyone, but sadly comes to his senses when Heero fucks up his shit in the Mercurius. He also has 40 sweaty men who look like actual Arabs, call him Master Quatre, and do whatever he says. The 40 muscular brown men serve the one femmy little white boy. All is well in the world. His Gundam is designed with heavy armor since he's too retarded to get the fuck out of the way. His Gundam's weapons, unlike everyone else's lightsaber/ huge gun weapons of death, are two regular swords that somehow explode when he throws them. Often ends up carrying his fellow pilots' hellspawn through m-preg fanfiction.
This character is the most ridiculous of them all. Boasting to be the most powerful with the motto “You WEAKLINGS!” he is also is super stereotypically Asian. His real name is, in fact, Charlie Chang. His Gundam's arms are terrifying dragons that bite and breathe fire. During his mission to kill Treize Khushrenada he sees that Treize greets him with a sword in his hand and wants to duel him. After losing to Treize he becomes emo and calls himself weak for the rest of the series until he meets with his sensei in outer space.
He wears a bucket on his head so he won't have to look himself in the mirror. He is the ace pilot for OZ (the bad guys). He has long blonde hair, and he actually fixes Heero's Gundam for him, just so he can blow it up again. Later, he reveals that his true identity is 13th President of the United States Millard Fillmore, Relena's brother, and proceeds to stalk her for a while, then decides to drop a huge battle ship on the earth. He doesn't pilot a Gundam, but instead goes through several high performance stupid giant robots. Zechs ultimately trades the Tall Goose in for the E-peyon, a red thing that looks like a devil and doesn't even have any guns, just a dominatrix whip.
He is the leader of OZ (A.K.A.:Organization of the Zodiac), (A.K.A.:the bad guys). He is a total faggot who likes to wear petticoats, while sipping wine and fencing with his man-servants in his private European estate. He is a descendant of some nazi and acts like a complete pompous ass. Despite his faggotry, he was able to beat Wufei in a sword fight, causing the azn much butthurt.
Rating
- Action: Between 1 and 2. Nothing is more exciting than watching Heero wipe everything out in one shot.
- Lulz: 1, LOL Tall Goose!
- Gayness: quite gay, yet still not as gay Naruto.
- Mecha: -5 There never really is any substantial robot-rape anywhere in the series and this works to Wing's detriment. The movie version wasn't much of an improvement either. The only difference was that they gave the characters fairy versions of their Gay-Bots
See Also
|
Gundam Wing is part of a series on
Anime
Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.
|
|
