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    Invisible Crane

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    File:Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
    so you can't say anything bad! :-(


    Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
    File:GrantM.jpg
    Symbol of Scottish Pride
    He's single, ladies!
       
     
    My name is Grant McLellan and I am from Glasgow, Scotland....but then again you might not care since I am not some big celebrity, model, wrestler, or anyone who works in the likes of the video games industry or the anime industry....
     

     
     

    —Grant, Myspace, 19/03/06

    Grant McLellan (better known as Invisible Crane or GrantM) is a Scottish assburger muncher with a really whiny voice, who lives with his parents, is unemployed, on welfare, desperate to meet a girl and finally lose his virginity and he shares all these issues with the world via YouTube Ustream. His list of interests consists of only anime, video games and wearing blouses.

    While so far this sounds like a description for you, what makes him stand out is his plans for being a pro-wrestler and a voice actor (or any other profession that would help him become famous), and his uncanny ability to cause drama wherever he goes. There is also the fact that (in case you didn't notice the image at the top of the fucking article) he showed his very own invisible crane on ustream due to alcohol and peer pressure.

    (Voice) Acting Career

       
     
    I...AM...TALENTED!
     

     
     

    —Grant, being modest

    File:GrantMfirststepontheyellowbrickroad.jpg
    Grant's very own brick at the Scottish Youth Theatre

    Grant was first spotted in the summer of 2005 on the Voice Acting Alliance, which he joined after watching some "Behind the scenes" feature on the dubbing of some terrible anime and deciding that voice acting would be the greatest thing in the world. He made a thread advertising his talents (demo included) for any voice-over projects (especially for ADV or Funimation, who obviously look around online amateur forums for people to hire). He also created an uproar over a young lady (younger than Grant) being a professional voice actor, claiming it was unfair. He didn't win a lot of friends.

    He also began popping up at many other forums as well, where he would whine about not being a voice actor. At most of these forums he would try and "get connections" so that he can "break into" the field of professional voice-over work. He got banned from many of them as well. These include: The Toonzone forums, The Anime News Network forums, Anime-England, The Glasgow Anime forums, The Newgrounds forums and The Ayacon forums.

    In addition to his forum antics, he has also frequently updated his LiveJournal, expressing his hopes that professional voice over artists and casting studios like ADV and Funimation will discover and hire him for lead roles in "Fan Favourite" anime series.

    To pass the time until an inevitable job offer from Funimation, Grant decided to try something different - instead of being a faggy voice actor, he would be a faggy stage actor, so he joined the Scottish Youth Theatre where he was told "My god, you can't act, dance, sing or perform...WELCOME!". His highlight (only) performance was a small role in an unknown show (sources say he was given the IMPORTANT part of the third tree from the right in act 2), after which was given a brick for his talent. It's rumored that many audience members killed themselves after his "big scene".

    Conventions

    Glasgow Anime Meetings

       
     
    Eventually I sang it and it seemed everyone there enjoyed it, I was told later on that I got just about everyone dancing
     

     
     

    —Grant, Glasgow Anime, 24/07/07

    File:Innocent girl.jpg
    An innocent girl that Grant took advantage of while she was drunk

    Lurking The Glasgow Anime forum, Crane learned that they hold regular IRL meet-ups, which was a dream come true for him - to meet with people who share his interests. Arriving there, he would spend most of his time advertising his talents, drooling over all the girls and pissing everyone off.

    Some people decided to fuck around with him a little, encouraging him to do odd acts, mostly during online chats, which would lead to the reveal of some interesting facts. At one point, they also got Grant drunk and recorded the results (see videos below). Even after the video ends, Grant supposedly continued onward to lick the floor, eat from bins and strip half-naked. Following the party, Grant swore to never drink again

    Eventually, though, most people got so sick of his shit that he was voted to be banned from the forum and the club, which he considered to be the worst moment of his life (at the time). His LiveJournal and Myspace were flooded with pleas for re-acceptance, which he wouldn't receive until two years later.

    Auchinawa / Kitacon

    Grant later attended Auchinawa, a Scottish anime convention, in 2006. Not much of interest happened. He just kind walked around nervously a lot, asking gophers retarded questions, getting unnecessarily defensive when given answers and looking over his shoulder a lot like he had something to hide. Though, he did play some DDR later on, which was recorded (see videos below). He returned to Auchinawa in 2008, where the committee was so anxious to have him back, that they told him to NOT register with his old GrantM username (so that his fans don't cause a riot of excitement at the knowledge that their idol would be attending). So, Grant decided to use Invisible Crane instead. Thankfully, he lived up to his new name, by staying invisible the whole con.

    In 2009 Grant attended, Kitacon, where he was a gopher. Not much has been reported of Grant's activity there, except for another recording of him showing off his mad DDR skillz again. Then, at the closing ceremonies, little Grant got up on the stage in front of the hundreds of people and did a speech, which was also recorded. A BEHIND THE SCENES interview with him after the speech was also recorded (see videos below).

    Convention Videos
    Drunk at Glasgow Anime
    DDR at Auchinawa
    Kitacon '09 DDR
    Kitacon '09 Speech
    Kitacon '09 Interview


    YouTube

    File:Invisiblecrane youtube everyfuckingvideo.png
    A screencap from EVERY SINGLE ONE of his YouTube videos

    In 2008, Grant popped up on YouTube, under the username GrantM1. He posted around six videos on YouTube where he bared his soul to the internet. Later, though, he realized that the internet doesn't give a shit, so he deleted them. Some of these videos included his aspirations to become a voice actor for the Simpsons, and a retrospective on the career of Chris Crocker. A notable characteristic of these videos was his emotional shits from happy-go-lucky to manic depressive. The account is now hacked.

    The following year he created a new account under the name InvisibleCrane, where he made CURRENT and TOPICAL rants on terrible things like Susan Boyle, or he would make reviews of his favorite (only) subjects - video games and anime, which noone watched. Though most of the time he he would spend involving himself in other YouTuber's drama, and giving shoutouts to other people, either by ripping off their video ideas, or by blatantly dropping to his knees and sucking the cocks of other, more popular, users, for all that is good and holy in the world.

    He closed his account in 2011. R.I.P. IN PEACE!!

    Examples of QUALITY
    Game Review
    Personal Update

    Alcoholism and Live Nudity

    Grant drinks hardcore, LIKE A BOSS

    Slowly coming the understanding that Noone likes him, he has no job and will die alone, Grant slowly began turning to his one true friend - the bottle carton. Slowly his problems drifted away as he took sip-by-sip. But drinking every day, though making him feel better, was lonely for Grant. So he got the idea to share his experience with the WORLD.

    So now, drunken Grant being on Ustream, for all to see, was a frequent event. His viewership at all times consisted of his loyal fanbase, who kept encouraging Grant and making him feel better by having him do all kinds of funny things, such as deepthroating his microphone. However, some of the viewers began questioning Grant's manliness and his manhood, eventually arriving at a point where the poor intoxicated Grant had HAD ENOUGH, so he decided to STICK IT TO THE WORLD, by standing up in front of the camera and PULLING DOWN HIS PANTS, showing off his little invisible crane to the world (see image at top of article). The image was soon spread across every single social network he was a part of, and sent to every single one of his family members. Following this event, Grant swore to never drink again, until the next stream he did, where he cried about the image, and how the internet is going to hate him FOREVER. On a recent podcast by the Sons of Kojima they hosted the notorious Nazi sympathizer Mister Metokur (a.k.a the Jim81Jim), during such podcast Metokur claimed responsibility for this and many other lulz.

    Ustream Recordings
    Techno-blowjob
    Post-Nudes Depression

    Sick of his shit?

    Grant, enjoying his healthy lifestyle, thanks to the hard working tax-payers of Scotland
       
     
    No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
     

     
     

    —Grant, in response to someone threatening to report him to the Department for Work and Pensions Benefit Fraud, which is what YOU should do now.

    If you've had enough of Grant's shit, and don't want him to be able to spend his goddamn welfare on stupid video game shit (he has bought over 250 video games and DVD movies with his Welfare), then DO YOUR PART and report him to the Department for Work and Pensions Benefit Fraud, by clicking on the link below.

    This is FOR HIS OWN GOOD so that his ass would have more motivation to go out and get a fucking job.

    Click here AND REPORT.


    Mr. Popular & His Fans

    Over the years Mr. McLellan has built up quite the following with his unique brand of videos and voice over work. So it was only a matter of time until his loyal fanbase created some works of their own to honor this great autistic God. What follows below are some classic examples of Crane worship that can be found around the interwebs. The grand invisible one is most pleased with these signs of true devotion. All hail King Spoony!



    Words of Wisdom

       
     
    Women can't get STDs, they don't have genitals
     

     
     

    —Grant, 2008

       
     
    WOMEN CAN MASTURBATE!!??
     

     
     

    —Grant

       
     
    Well Edinburgh...it's kinda like Glasgow in a way...only it has a castle
     

     
     

    —Grant, Glasgow Anime, 26/02/08

       
     
    What the hell is a scrotum?
     

     
     

    —Grant

       
     
    I think even the biggest blender would be too small for a midget...
     

     
     

    —Grant


    Listen for yourself

    A zipfile, consisting of 79 of these audioclips can be downloaded here.

    Gallery

    DOX

    • FULL NAME: Grant McLellan
    • LOCATION: Glasgow, United Kingdom
    • DATE OF BIRTH: December 24, 1984
    • E-MAIL: [email protected]
    • SKYPE: grantm10
    • MSN: [email protected]
    • AIM: grantmclellan1
    • XBOX LIVE: Invisible Crane

    External Links

    75px Invisible Crane is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

    Adam LanzaAlbert EinsteinAlexander SlavrosAmber ButtrumAndy KaufmanAniMatAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAspies for FreedomAspierationsAssburgerBaldi's BasicsBambifan101Barron TrumpBart-ToonsBeefraveBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBill9929Bill GatesBlocklandersBlueCatRioluBodyXPoliticBoris MalagurskiBourg ProductionsBram CohenBrandon SmithBrownsquirrelCansin13ChibiyimaChris-chanChris Harper-MercerClay ClaymoreCloudyEggsCyndilovespiccoloDan CilleyDarrDarius McCollumDarviela MaravaronaDavid CleggDaxFlamedev-catscratchDisneyFan01DLAbaoaquDragonfandrp1zzaEddie WiseEdenHeroineGirlElectroRuffGiusep1EmpLemonErik RibsskogErin AnthonyEthan DavisEvan GraggFlaglerchatFlardoxFUNImation2002GachatardsGary McKinnonGoFagsGrantMGreg MazujianHannah CappsHeed My WarningHozupindahows00sInmendhamInuboy1000IronholdsJack Gilbert GrahamJared MiltonJahi/4444Javi SuzumiyaJessi SlaughterJoekerJoey The AutistJohn Patrick RogersJoseph8276JustinandDennisJustinRPGKawaii KitsuneKawaiiKittee88KelseyaliciaKevin HavensKingMasterReviewKirbysloverKloeriKongzillarex619KothorixKphoriaLane DavisLeafyIsHereLukas PietschLyndsay KirkhamLougaraLordelthibarLynn AnnM. ChaosManlytearsMark ZuckerbergMariotehplumberMascotGuyMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMDetector5Michael GimsonMinefagsMisha SilenostiMissyMix HyenaMonica PunkMumkey JonesMutescreamMylarBalloonFanNate SpidgewoodNemo HanaNeuroNichole337Nick BravoNicky ReillyNikolas CruzObjectcucksOlinkalexOnigojirakaijuOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPMDrive1061PopcornPrince JeremyRandy StairRavenNGRebelTaxiRobert Clark YoungROtardsRootbrianRoss LumbusRyanSammyClassicSonicFanSaturnDOSSean MillerSeleryShane LeeSiriusOrionisSolidMarioSONYFANBOYSperginStarbladeStarkiller88SteAndKelSuperMarioLoganSuper Minecraft KidTablecowTGcomixTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe Eclectic EspeonThe rEactorTheme Park ReviewTheMysteriousMrEnterTherealagerbonThe JuggernautThe Unknown AutobotTheVeganStudentTimboxToby J RathjenToKeNTom SersonToonEGuyToshTrigglypuffTylerthDragonUlillilliaVailskibum94Varg VikernesWaymuuWeatherManKevinWeegeeisgoingtokillmWerechuWetflameWilliam "AlGore" AtchisonWilliam FreundWim CrusioWolfAdvocateWolfeedarkfangwwwareaYeguscusYouZS3