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Brown is a one-eyed cunt Scotsman who succeeded former PM for life Tony Blair last Thursday. Brown then made his way to the Houses of Parliament where he initiated the Parliamentary Massacre of '07, killing a record 936 MPs, along with a group of visiting school-children, in a bizarre Scottish ritual. He mutilated and sexually assaulted the corpses before painting pentagrams and Bible verses on the walls in their blood. The ritual lasted several hours. He then climbed to the top of Big Ben, still clutching the spleen of Tony Blair, and let out a primeval roar. After ten years of waiting, contemplating, he had finally done it. He was the new ponce of England.
openly not really stated that there will be no moar kissing of America's arse and/or rolling over for his master under his watch, leaving 'dour' as the only thing to distinguish him from his predecessor, the toy poodle.
On his first official visit to America as PM, he insisted that both he and Bush wear suits instead of the gay cowboy duds that W used to dress Blair in for photo-ops. He then continued to pwn W by correcting him, calling The War on Terror a "war against crime" and insisting that Afghanistan and not Iraq was the root of all evil. For his part, Bush heaped praise on his new 'partner' in democracy, complimenting Brown on his ability to corrupt LOL, but if he was expecting any reciprocal analingus, he had another thing coming as Brown politely thanked him and left W with his unsucked dick hanging out for all to see.
Brown comes to power after 10 years in Blair's shadows as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Originally tipped as the next leader of the "New" Labor Party in 1994, Brown pwnt himself by letting Blair take the gig in a super secret deal where Brown would get his shot as The Man next time around. However, with no term-limits, Blair kept the job and kept running for re-election until his downfall.
We Saved The World
Gordon Gets Rick Rolld'D?
In a blog on his MySpace page, Gordon said "Leave the issue to me." Many were surprised, and wondered what G meant. It is also worth nothing that a total number of 700 MPs were found dead just over 90 hours after Gordon's blog. It is now expected that he will find some new courage and win all the upcoming elections.
In November, 2009, Guardsman Jamie James was killed in service in Afghanistan. Instead of writing to the soldier's mother to express his sympathies, Gordon decided to wipe his ass with a piece of paper, autograph it, and mail it to her first class. Needless to say, the mother creamed herself at the opportunity to exploit the memory of her dead son in order to make some money and immediately ran to the Sun to sell the story. She then preceded to string the whole thing out long past the point where nobody gave a shit. In the end Brown actually ended up looking quite good after the whole ordeal as most people sympathized with the way he was being bullied in the media and how most people thought the mother was a complete and utter bitch.
The Tongue Thing
Gordon Brown has long been afflicted by a strange tick. He will, at any given opportunity try to dislodge what appears to be either a chipolata or scotch egg from his right jowel. In fact the disgusting pig-fucking bastard actually stores his collection of Obama's sacred nigger sperm in his flabby cheeks.
After Labour got buttfucked in the elections due to Brown failing, Brown ragequit and is stepping down as Labour Party leader, just as Tony Blair did before him. Gordon Brown found that being a Asshole was the only thing he was good at so when he got rekt in Parliament he left Davie a letter which basically said "We have no money left, now you have to deal with it ;)", this situation was also his fault as he fucked over the british economy during the crash by mismanaging the governmental funds as he had the intellect of a 5 year old. All in all he is now seen as a Retard who buggered over the country with social policies and economic negligence, his only real achievement was becoming the worst Labour PM in History.
- Hobbies include letting child torturers, terrorists & animal abusers get away with it, shitting on the economy from a great height, comparing himself to characters from shitty romance novels, waving his fucking jowls around like there's no tomorrow, firing money at problems in a weak attempt to solve them and sucking on Nicholas Sarkozy's cock.
- Has shown extreme interest in money, abortion and illegal immigration.
- Fapping material of choice: Goatse.
- Mr. Brown is from Glasgow, so he is a murdering, stealing, untrustworthy cunt.
- Mr. Brown is a big fan of Arctic Monkeys, (even though he's never heard any of their music) and thus, 'down with the kids'.
- Mr. Brown's closet adviser is a man named Ed Balls (srsly). To make matters worse, they put Balls in charge of education. Schools even block his last name on letters and e-mail. I kid you not.
- Mr. Brown was made Chancellor of the Exchequer because he is Scottish. In the UK, a Scot is akin to a Jew, both being ugly and notoriously tight-fisted with all things related to money.
- Mr. Brown's first claim to fame was that of a character in the fictional Roger Red Hat series of books for small children.
- Mr. Brown once thought of being a Conservative, but after taking anal from Michael Foot, he decided to follow Tony Bliar because Blair reminded him of Foot.
- Gordon Brown is so hard that when his eye fell out playing rugby he picked it up off the floor, ate the thing, and continued playing with blood spurting out of the socket. He went on to score the winning try.
- Gordon Brown is so hard that he puts gravel in his porridge instead of raisins.
- Gordon Brown is so hard that when he goes to bed he takes out his glass eye and puts a ball of salt in the bloody socket instead.
- Gordon Brown is so hard that when he was the Iron Chancellor he wanted to sort out the Middle East by glassing Arafat and Sharon, but Tony Blair hid his passport so he couldn't get there.
- Gordon Brown is so hard that once put a dog in a safe then smashed the safe open with his fists.
- If Gordon Brown was a black person he would be Demoman from TF2.
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