⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Golf

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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    This is what's known as a hole in one
    File:GolfDick.gif
    Another fine example of women in professional sports

    Golf is a "sport" in which old, white CEOs hit a tiny-ass ball with a stick across a big ass field of grass, dirt, and various traps. The pastime was birthed sometime in the 1800s, by Irish migrants to Canada as an abstaining alternative to sex, as the object of the game to hit the ball into a hole, by method of a stick. The game, like a healthy relationship before lovemaking, is divided into hours, days, months, and even years in some cases, a common question being "How much longer are we playing this fucking game?!" Basically Golf is a pussy non contact game, so it's mostly for faggots.

    Rules

    File:Golf.jpg
    Teach them early.
    NO COLORED PEOPLE ALLOWED DISREGARD THAT, TWELVE WOMEN SUCK TIGER'S WOOD

    Professional Golf

    File:Golf 04.jpg
    Sometimes, they get in. And get in with twelve women no less.

    That surely has to be different, right? Put it in a spectator sport and it's gotta be good!

    No. PGA and Professional Golf are as bad, if not worse than casual golf. Spectators must remain quiet for the entire duration, with an average of at least 6 instances of theft, rape, and murder occurring during the event.

    How to play golf

    This unfortunate golfer was probably senile, drunk (You can still drive these things?!), or just became an hero with the boredom of this sport.
    Make sure you've got the right balls for the job!
    • 0. Not be a black person. This is pretty basic.
    • 1. Buy a bag of clubs. Keep buying them until you can't count anymore, which will happen because you're already a dumbass for playing this game.
    • 2. Go to a public course and pay to play.
    • 3. Walk to the first tee, plant your ball and check the wind. Make sure to stand there for at least 5 minutes to look real knowledgeable about conditions, but not too long so that they realize that you don't want to make a false move and bruise your ego and their impressions of you.
    • 4. Select a club, preferably something large and sturdy.
    • 5. Hit the ball as hard as you can in a random direction.
    • 6. If you make it in, good job. That's some godly-ass luck you've got there. Proceed directly to PROFIT. If you don't, repeat Step 5 until you collapse for being the old, fat, piece of shit you are.

    Congratulations! You've wasted a perfectly good day doing nothing. I hope you feel better about yourself.

    See also


    Golf
    is part of a series on
    the ED Special Olympics
    Sports

    BaseballBasketballButtrapeCricketProfessional WrestlingSoccerHandeggHockeyGhost RidingTennisVuvuzelaMMA

    Not Sports

    BulletballPaulPolandballSex • /sp/ • StarcraftSuper Smash BrosVideo GamesGolfHema

    Competitions

    OlympicsSpecial OlympicsLondon 2012Olympic FlameLOLympics2010 World Cup

    Topics

    SportTeam UruguayNew York YankeesRed Sox NationChicago Cubs/sp/

    Athletes

    Air BudAllison StokkeBarry BondsBilly MartinBrandon PhillipsBrett FavreBruce JennerCindy CrosbyDiego MaradonaGary LinekerGeorge SteinbrennerJim BunningJohn TerryKlitschko brothersLawrence TaylorMichael PhelpsMike TysonNodar KumaritashviliRax GrissmanRobert GreenRon MexicoShawn JohnsonThurman ThomasTy CobbZinedine Zidane