Gian Luigi Ferri
|Born||December 29, 1937|
|Highscore||8 killed, 6 injured|
|Top 50?||lol no|
|Style||FPS, Single player|
Gian Luigi Ferri (born Gianluigi Ettore Ferri) is the wop responsible for the lulziest day in the history of San Franshitshow. Armed with a pair of TEC-9's and the fact that his life had gone down the fucking shitter, Mr. Ferri went out to set the new American High Score, but he failed, just like how he failed at literally everything else in his life. However, he found solace in the form of creating massive amounts of butthurt across the country.
Not much is known about Mr. Ferri's sad and miserable life, except that he was poor for most of it. His entire professional career in the real estate business had been defined by the fact that he kept getting kiked out of his rightfully earned shekels. Even after winning a 1 million dollar settlement, he still couldn't manage to unfuck himself from the hole dug around him. His own mortgage business couldn't get any clients, his credit score was down the shitter, and he couldn't even pay the damn rent. He blamed all of his troubles on more successful companies instead of himself for not knowing what the fuck he was doing. One of these companies, Pettit & Martin, would be the eventual target of Mr. Ferri's rage.
The last straw came when Mr. Ferri couldn't even file bankruptcy, because he couldn't afford the bankruptcy fee.
Previously on Let's Play
The topic of gun control was fresh in all of Commiefornia due to another shitlord who attempted at setting the high score four years earlier. That shitlord is none other than Patrick Purdy, who pwned 5 gooklets at Stockton Elementary in 1989 before an heroing. Since Mr. Purdy used an assault rifle, Commiefornia set out to be the ultimate buzzkill by completely banning any kind of "assault weapon". This proved difficult for Mr. Ferri to set the High Score, because we all know shit disappears once it's banned, right?
Channeling his inner Hans Gruber, Mr. Ferri took an elevator to the
35th 34th floor (a secretary ruined his plans by pushing an elevator button on the 34th floor), and began what was to be the the single best day in the history of the entire Bay Area. Using his loadout, he first pwned an entitled bitch and her Jewish lawyer; he then began moving down from the 34th floor, ultimately leaving 6 more noobs rekt before the party van showed up in hopes of cutting the madman's spree short. Seeing the cops come up the stairs, Mr. Ferri had no other choice but to end his spree in the most logical way possible; by becoming an hero.
The Ultimate Lolcow
As mentioned before, gun control was in the minds of all Californians after the Stockton shooting. However, this didn't stop the entirety of America from going Full Retard around 1994. Led by none other than Dianne Feinstein, a pity-party full of pathetic sobbing losers descended onto Washington, D.C. in hopes of spreading their buzzkilling to the entire fucking country. Collectively they descended onto Congress screeching for gun control like the liberal harpies they are (hmmm, I wonder who else this could describe). Unfortunately for the rest of the 49 states, they succeeded in banning big scary boomsticks in what was to be known as the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban. At least their incessant groveling worked this time around (spoiler alert, it didn't).
|Style:||20/20 High Rise Horror|
|Butthurt:||20/20 America banned a bunch of guns|
|Bonus:||20/20 Had the same effect as Parkland 25 years before|
|Total score: 85/100 (B)|
- 9/11 - Another tragedy involving high rise towers
- James Huberty
- Patrick Purdy
- George Hennard
- Nikolas Cruz
- Mass Shooting
- Gun Control
- An hero
|Gian Luigi Ferri
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