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Gian Luigi Ferri

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Gian_Luigi_Ferri
Born December 29, 1937
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore 8 killed, 6 injured
Top 50? lol no
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? Yes
Motive Depression


Gian Luigi Ferri (born Gianluigi Ettore Ferri) is the wop responsible for the lulziest day in the history of San Franshitshow. Armed with a pair of TEC-9's and the fact that his life had gone down the fucking shitter, Mr. Ferri went out to set the new American High Score, but he failed, just like how he failed at literally everything else in his life. However, he found solace in the form of creating massive amounts of butthurt across the country.

Background

Not much is known about Mr. Ferri's sad and miserable life, except that he was poor for most of it. His entire professional career in the real estate business had been defined by the fact that he kept getting kiked out of his rightfully earned shekels. Even after winning a 1 million dollar settlement, he still couldn't manage to unfuck himself from the hole dug around him. His own mortgage business couldn't get any clients, his credit score was down the shitter, and he couldn't even pay the damn rent. He blamed all of his troubles on more successful companies instead of himself for not knowing what the fuck he was doing. One of these companies, Pettit & Martin, would be the eventual target of Mr. Ferri's rage.

The last straw came when Mr. Ferri couldn't even file bankruptcy, because he couldn't afford the bankruptcy fee.

Previously on Let's Play

California passing gun control (c. 1989)

The topic of gun control was fresh in all of Commiefornia due to another shitlord who attempted at setting the high score four years earlier. That shitlord is none other than Patrick Purdy, who pwned 5 gooklets at Stockton Elementary in 1989 before an heroing. Since Mr. Purdy used an assault rifle, Commiefornia set out to be the ultimate buzzkill by completely banning any kind of "assault weapon". This proved difficult for Mr. Ferri to set the High Score, because we all know shit disappears once it's banned, right?

The Shooting

Channeling his inner Hans Gruber, Mr. Ferri took an elevator to the 35th 34th floor (a secretary ruined his plans by pushing an elevator button on the 34th floor), and began what was to be the the single best day in the history of the entire Bay Area. Using his loadout, he first pwned an entitled bitch and her Jewish lawyer; he then began moving down from the 34th floor, ultimately leaving 6 more noobs rekt before the party van showed up in hopes of cutting the madman's spree short. Seeing the cops come up the stairs, Mr. Ferri had no other choice but to end his spree in the most logical way possible; by becoming an hero.

The Ultimate Lolcow

As mentioned before, gun control was in the minds of all Californians after the Stockton shooting. However, this didn't stop the entirety of America from going Full Retard around 1994. Led by none other than Dianne Feinstein, a pity-party full of pathetic sobbing losers descended onto Washington, D.C. in hopes of spreading their buzzkilling to the entire fucking country. Collectively they descended onto Congress screeching for gun control like the liberal harpies they are (hmmm, I wonder who else this could describe). Unfortunately for the rest of the 49 states, they succeeded in banning big scary boomsticks in what was to be known as the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban. At least their incessant groveling worked this time around (spoiler alert, it didn't).

Cry harder you Hook-nosed gun-grabbing manchild

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Intratech TEC-DC9
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  • Your typical jam-o-matic machine pistol. Same model that would be used by Papa Dylan later on. 21-33 Damage.
  • Attachment 1: Akimbo. Allows dual-wielding.
  • Attachment 2: Extended Mags. Allows the user to fire longer without reloading.
  • Secondary: Norinco M1911
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  • Shitty Chinese knock-off of the Colt 1911. Used only to an hero. Causes Instant Death to User.
  • Perk 1: Ghost Pro
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  • Invisible against Spy Planes.
  • Perk 2: Stopping Power Pro
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  • Hollow Point bullets enable all guns to do 40% More Damage.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 8/20
Accuracy: 17/20
Style: 20/20 High Rise Horror
Butthurt: 20/20 America banned a bunch of guns
Bonus: 20/20 Had the same effect as Parkland 25 years before
Total score: 85/100 (B)
The Italian Stallion.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
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___________________

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Federal Bureau of Investigation


See Also

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Gian Luigi Ferri
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPodXbox]

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Failures

Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBob8466Brandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDennis AvnerDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonImma-The-DeerJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJustin-anonKate SpadeKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKimveer GillKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLil PeepLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMichael RyanMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Otoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffPhoebe ConnopQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonSebastian BosseShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffSteve StephensStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTiziana CantoneTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIXallyfacex

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco


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Gian Luigi Ferri is part of a series on HSTButton.png
[Game Over][Insert Coin]
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Ranked Mode (Single Player)

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Casual Mode (Single Player)

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo SaipovSaint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Co-Operative Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka Easter BombingsTimothy McVeigh

Sid Meier's Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

 
[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Gian Luigi Ferri is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 David Long 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik