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Gersh Kuntzman

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Gersh Kuntzman is a Jewish journalist and Jew who writes shit for New York Daily News. A day after Omar Mateen's cleansing of the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Kuntman decided that he would attempt to get into the mind of the terrorist killer by shooting an AR-15 rifle for the first time – but Gersh was just too Jewish and ended up suffering from "PTSD" as a result of merely firing a gun.

As a noble journalist, Gersh then made it his mission to inform the masses that guns are loud and scurry and bad by writing an article – unfortunately for him, the only thing that the fine citizens of the internets learned from his article was the fact that Gersh Kuntzman is a huge fucking sissy.

The Triggering

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Kuntzman getting some "back up" support while he fires the deadly weapon of mass destruction.
Kuntzman's preferred form of personal protection.

Back in June of 2016 a cock wombling poof pansy by the name of Gersh Kuntzman (not just a clever name) got tired of base jumping ass crack ravines and playing butt pool and decided he'd find out what all this "gun control" fuss was all about by shacking up, er hooking up,... fuck it, there's no nice way to put this, he found the nearest openly gay gun store owner and got a "personal lesson" in firearms, if you know what I mean. This resulted in a hilariously sad editorial piece on guns in which Kuntzman's fingers made his ass jealous by the enormity of bullshit he managed to fudge pack into an online opinion piece on the horribly frightening AR-15 "assault rifle". The article featured about as much sincerity as a fundamentalist Christian preacher caught with his pants around his ankles in the back room of a gay bar whilst entertaining the local plumbers union...

 
 
What is it like to fire an AR-15? It’s horrifying, menacing and very very loud.

It felt to me like a bazooka — and sounded like a cannon.

One day after 49 people were killed in the Orlando shooting, I traveled to Philadelphia to better understand the firepower of military-style weapons and, hopefully, explain their appeal to gun lovers.

But mostly, I was just terrified.

I’ve shot pistols before, but never something like an AR-15. Squeeze lightly on the trigger and the resulting explosion of firepower is humbling and deafening (even with ear protection).

The recoil bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don't know what you're doing. The brass shell casings disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of sulfur and destruction made me sick. The explosions — loud like a bomb — gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable.

Even in semi-automatic mode, it is very simple to squeeze off two dozen rounds before you even know what has happened. If illegally modified to fully automatic mode, it doesn’t take any imagination to see dozens of bodies falling in front of your barrel.

All it takes is the will to do it.

Forty nine people can be gone in 60 seconds.
 


 

—Gersh the Kunt Man

The "Man" Behind The PTSD

Kuntzman furiously rubbing at his malformed pecker as he ogles the hate ridden replies he gets en masse (or was that, "up the ass").

Kuntsman is best described as an extreme liberal weenie troll with a sordid victim complex and a penchant for verbal masochism and humiliation. His style and behavior is so pedantically formulaic that he shows about as much depth and personality as a 90s gay sitcom character. His formulaic pattern of behavior generally adheres to the following progression...

  • 1. Find an overly biased, faulty liberal wingnut ideology.
  • 2. Write an op-ed piece based on such ideology using as much incoherent exaggeration as possible.
  • 3. Garner mass levels of righteous hatred and hostility for outright lying in the most disingenuous way possible.
  • 4. Once said animosity reaches viral proportions begin incessantly whining and complaining about it.
  • 5. Write a follow up article ignoring every good argument, victimize yourself and express naive confusion over the reaction.
  • 6. Rinse and repeat.

Although the recent "gun control" hit piece is his most infamous example, Kuntzman has actually done this same song and dance time and time again. In another article, for example, he proudly issued the ultimatum that American baseball leagues needed to get rid of the tradition of singing "God Bless America" because it "offends everybody". The irony of course being that his blatant stupidity had just "offended everybody" in the nation to the point of screaming for his death and deportation. Kuntzman of course ate right into that American man-ass butthurt and trollishly fondled his shit covered cock with homomasochistic delight.

Kuntzman Gets A New Holster

Gersh Kuntzman Misc Tampon Holster.jpg

Mocking and counter-trolling Kuntzman is considered a sport in and of itself, largely as a result of his need to publicly humiliate himself to further his victim complex. This has led to an ever increasing escalation of attempts to relentlessly insult and disparage the proverbial clown-child Kuntzman makes himself out to be; with the intended hope that whatever cuttingly creative form you use winds up featured in one of the self-mutilating pity party articles that follow in the aftermath of his liberal trollquakes.

This takes on many forms, in the case of the anti-gun article tons of people sent in pictures and videos of their small children shooting AR-15s as a means of mocking Kuntsman's supposed PTSD, as well as a whole slew of counter articles filled with blistering comebacks and emasculating invectives, many of them written by female gun owners such as this scathing, 3rd degree ice-burn from Sara Tipton...

 
 
Say what you want, but don’t drag me and all other gun owning women down. We know more about the AR-15 than you ever will, and claiming this is a gender issue just shows how thin-skinned and ignorant you actually are. Don’t deflect blame to gender. And thanks for admitting what we already knew.
 

 

—BOOM! *mic drop*

Daddy Issues

Gersh's dad speaks out.

Gersh and his father have recently been on rocky ground as a result of the presidential election and in classic Gersh form he decided it would be a bright idea to take his family affairs to the press, plastering their sordid familial drama all over the Interwebs in an overly cringe worthy debacle of voyeuristic humiliation that wound spanning nearly a DOZEN different articles over the course of about two months...

Gersh Kuntzman Daddy Issues 01.png

Fact: Most parents become Republicans in the

wake of their children becoming far left liberals.
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Fact: His real surname was originally Nunamaker but

changed it Kuntzman after his sissy bitch son was born.
Gersh Kuntzman Daddy Issues 03.png

Fact: Detroit (worst city in the nation) with a population that's

83% black has been ruled by Democrats for over 50 years!
Gersh Kuntzman Daddy Issues 04.png

MY DADDY DOESN'T CARE!

cries the sissy man-child.
Gersh Kuntzman Daddy Issues 05.png

Fact: Muslims make up 1% of the US population but

are responsible for 6% of all domestic terror attacks.
Gersh Kuntzman Daddy Issues 06.png

Gersh continues to relentlessly pester his poor father,

digging in deep like a bloated, diseased, liberal tick.
Gersh Kuntzman Daddy Issues 07.png

Let's face it, if Gersh was your bastard child you'd

be constantly fighting and arguing with him too.
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Spoilers: He got sick and tired of hearing

his faggot firstborn whining like a little girl.

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See Also

Kuntzman Article (liberal troll) Links

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Featured article October 13 & 14, 2016
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