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There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
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Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
Meet Freelancerraiko. He's the baddest motherfucker alive, kid. You can't truly say you've witnessed a chronic case of USI until you have encountered this faggot. He believes that anybody who approaches him is a "kid" who "needs to prove their worth as a human being" to him before he can refer to them as people on the same level as himself. He is under the impression that he's getting trolled into oblivion because of a lover's tiff he had with a furry over their art style. As far as we here at ED are concerned, they can yiff in hell. The real reason why he's such delicious trollbait is because his levels of USI are staggering.
He claims to have lived life from all possible perspectives and been though it all, so he has the right to be presumptuous about you kids and how his ideals are so much moar refined than your infantile drudgery. So how old is he, exactly? Late 30s, early 40s? He's 19. But don't let that fool you, kid, he's an omnipotent, omniscient man. You only have to examine his angsty attitude and cosplay pictures for a few seconds for this to become absolutely clear. Prepare to enter into a profound world of self discovery that will rip your existing ideals to shreds, kid.
Lol, u mad?
His faggotry was first brought to our attention sometime last Thursday in a screenshot deviation from a dA group dedicated to exposing fail for people to point and laugh at. While many indicators of his batshit insanity were shown, the most delicious trollbait provided was a journal he posted entitled "YOU FUCKING COWARDS >>"
On the surface, he appeared to just be another crybaby in desperate need of a waaaahmbulance because he was unable to force in his SUPER ADULT REBUTTAL in an argument after being blocked. For added lulz, the user being called out in what was to become a huge shitstorm commented first, causing FLR to shit his pants so hard with rage that he would unleash the fucking fury at the vast majority of people commenting on the journal that he was retarded enough to place into the public domain. Soon enough, comments were snowballing as trolls, sympathisers (yes, he had at least one) and voyeurs flocked to his journal like flies around shit.
It quickly descended into lulziness when people began to point out his logical fallacies and his overtly fake and gay outlook on life, he suddenly turned pseudo-intellectual and begun babbling on about "ideals". It could only get funnier from this point onwards.
Please note some of the following screenshots are incredibly TL;DR and are uploaded purely so he can't DENY FUCKING EVERYTHING like he's attempted to in the past.
FLR is a complex soul and so his ideals are a little difficult for him to explain. If you ask about his ideals, gearing yourself up for a genuine, hearty debate, you'll be disappointed. FLR likes to bait people to challenge his ideals but whenever he's questioned on it he'll insist that the very fact you've asked him such a preposterous question means you're a dumbass kid who couldn't possibly even begin to comprehend the meaning of ideals, never mind his own. Besides, his ideals are 2 TL;DR 4 U, so it would take centuries to write them down and even longer for your tiny little mind to process the information.
FLR seems to be laboring under the misconception that the group who featured him actively encourage trolling, when in fact whenever they present a faggot to be lol'd at, they implicitly tell members not to remind the user of their faggotry to avoid incurring Chix0r's wrath. They even give the subject of the blog the opportunity to baw about it so that it can be removed if their symptoms of butthurt are too intense. So of course, when everybody took it upon themselves to tell FLR what a cocksmoker he is, he'd immediately dismiss them claiming they're not fighting for their own ideals but instead being sheeple, commanded to attack him for no apparent reason even though he's a pretty cool guy by his own standards. Although he's quick to call troll, he's too retarded to stop displaying his butthurt to them, either by blocking them or insisting upon getting in the final rebuttal usually describing how OSSIM he is in comparison to them.
Whiteknighting and asspatting for him is considered to be a very mature endeavor and whoever defends him with the most conviction and zeal will be invited to a brief circlejerk, but they're still just kids, lol. In fact, when he was baited by a troll aiming to expose his blatant bias and idiocy by leaving an asspatting remark about how much he agreed with him, FLR went on to discuss how much he loevs Castlevania since the commenter was ttly not a "useless meatbag" after all.
Another curious trait of FLR's is that he occasionally references a man to whom he would be considered a child to this day, who taught him all of his super fucking l33t skillz and knowledge. Unfortunately whenever he brings this person up, it just sounds like he's making some vague Azn reference about a sagacious, haggard sensei that taught him the 5 point palm exploding heart technique. However, after hearing some weird shit about this man later on, a caucasian teenager learning some shit out of Kill Bill actually sounds a whole lot moar plausible.
As a weeaboo, FLR enjoys a good spot of animu daily. As well as fanboying over shit people have probably never heard of, he has a strong affinity for Digimon. Ordinarily, this would fall into the category of shit nobody cares about. However, it would seem that FLR's arrogance, ignorance, pig-headedness, and conviction to defend vague "ideals" that he's not even prepared to discuss are actually traits of a Digimon character! Surprised? We sure are!111
Now if you can just slap a disorder on this kid it would explain why Digimon has such a huge impact on his life. Since he's never outwardly claimed to have any kind of disorder, we're just going to have to assume he's speshul.
Butthurt journal #2- Electric Boogaloo
Not content with baiting trolls to respond to his first journal around 400 fucking times, he thought he'd post some moar faggotry for all to see. His second journal "Wish people would make their own decisions in life" is more of a bawwfest that's aimed at making people who follow links to his profile feel retarded and the people who link to his profile feel guilty. Again, since nobody is outright commanding anybody else to visit his profile specifically to flame him until his ass is chargrilled a nice golden brown, his "Shame on you" journal didn't really have the desired effect either. It only served to make him seem increasingly butthurt. CRY MOAR, KID.
Rather diligently, his white knight was back on the scene, eager to dutifully rim her master and be referred to as "kid" even though they're the same fucking age. She even got extra speshul asspats on her profile for being an internet tough guy and employing the use of big words such as "horable" and "dipshit". Nevermind the fact that she can't even lern2English at her age and comprehend that OL whiteknighting is a fruitless exercise, as long as FLR considers it to be a mark of maturity then it must be!
- FLR can't answer the fucking question.png
He's frightened about getting featured again for displaying his faggotry to the fullest. He's going to have a nerd rage once he sees what we did here.
- FLR whiteknight to the rescue.png
A white knight with onigiri as their avatar. Why am I not surprised?
"Thanks for whiteknighting for me back there, kid. Just for that, you get a second chance to suck my E-dick."
The infamous "skullfuck punch"
When somebody had the audacity to ask about his grorious sensei
kun chan sama DESU, he lost his shit and threatened the user with a "skullfuck punch". Upon being asked what one was, he spewed a bunch of bollocks about how it can penetrate solid steel and fuck your shit up. People were quick to point out the human skeleton isn't quite a durable as steel but FLR insists that willpower is all you need to defy biology and physics simultaneously. When a user asked him to demonstrate his awesome skills on his face, he raged back into internet tough guy mode and reminisced about how when people challenged him to a gentlemen's duel they always fell on the floor crying after being punched in the face, despite the fact that if he can punch through solid steel, then he can punch through a fucking skull. Anyone asking for conclusive evidence of his Super Saiyan-like strength was deemed illogical and blocked due to his blatant dishonesty and butthurt.
After finding these shenanigans highly suspicious coming from a batshit insane weeaboo, we probed further to see where he may have gotten this utter bullshit from. Lo and behold, he's a Soul Eater fanboi. Guess what happens in one of the episodes? I'll give you a hint: It's called the COURAGE PUNCH.
The mystery behind the internet tough guy facade unravelled!
Once upon a time, FLR was once a fine young gentleman. He courted young wimminz and even lowered his standards enough to make advances towards furries and Sonicfags to increase the probability of getting laid (yiffing or otherwise). Having faced the heartbreak of rejection a few too many times, he began to take the "nice guys finish last" cliche a bit too literally and begun behaving like a giant douche in the hopes that women would be magnetised to the persona of a furious, sexually repressed wife beater.
One would think that with the kind of self loathing, fugly, weeaboo GOTI you find on the internets, that he would indeed be rolling in vag. Unfortunately his white knight is the only person who's showed any real loyalty since he condescends to her err'day and she just takes it up the rectum like the dedicated little faggot she is.
Retards say the darndest things
Because he readily provides it at every turn on dA we have this modest section entirely dedicated to lulzy quotes from our favourite elitist, pretentious, internet tough guy, pseudo intellectual weeaboo complete with corresponding caps:
—1. FLR godmoding.
During our time observing FLR, lulz-a-plenty have been had making "fan" art and advice dog variants.
- He is fiercely homophobic, deeming homosexuality "pointless" and claiming it is just as much of a choice as deciding to shoplift. Can anybody say repressed?
- He models his life and behaviours around Digimon characters even though he constantly witters on about people not being able to think for themselves.
- He claims to despise people who think and behave similarly yet he continues to use the internet, breathe, and eat food.
- He believes anybody who has been raised has been conditioned to think a certain way and the only way to truly be an individual is to entirely rebel against anything mommy and daddy ever told you. While his understanding of social etiquette is limited, he's still not feral, so that's bullshit.
- He still thinks it's possible to even be an individual.
- He will skull fuck punch you.
- It's common knowledge he's a misogynist since he refers to female cosplayers as slutty all the time, so it's no surprise that he thinks whenever someone gets knocked up, "it's all that whore bitch's fault". What's particularly lulzy though, is that he doles out death threats like sweets on Hallowe'en, then reveals he is pro life and frowns upon female pro choicers shenanigans. What's more, he considers having an abortion to be "arrogant". But he's not an arrogant little cunt himself, not at all.
- Due to his nonsensical bullshit, homophobia, misogyny, and inability to admit he's a moron, he is likened to an able bodied and slightly more eloquent CWC.
- His favourite emote is >>
- He claims to despise furries because of their sexual perversion, yet he is a closet furry.
- He has a strange obsession-like love for Devil May Cry, to the point of hating DMC5 for "selling out"
- If he ever argues with you, he will discover he cannot win, and attempt to cover up this idiocy by insulting you badly and blocking you.
- His USI is very much similar to that of Jecht's from Final Fantasy X.
- "Meatbag" and "kid" are his favourite ad hominems.
- He'll tell you he's not raging at his monitor everytime he unleashes the fucking fury when in actuality, HE MAD.
- Because he has nothing to contribute to dA besides retarded animu cosplays he randomly drops onto people's profiles to baw about how shit their art is. He's usually subsequently pwned for his asshattery but for some reason he always believes he's emerged victorious.
- Anybody willing to whiteknight for him is a pretty cool guy. But still a kid, nonetheless.
- He can't even RP without calling people "kid".
- He needs a fistful of stool softeners to ease his butthurt whenever he's called a kid himself.
- He is an avid Castlevania fanboy.
- He once attempted to explode a local brony group using his usual tactics of drama, punches, and assholery.
- When all else fails, he becomes an internet tough guy and threatens people with things that aren't even physically possible.
- An Herpo
- Internet Tough Guy
- SephirothPrincess941- Another batshit weeb that applies animu values to RL.
- His dA ED advises you to refrain from trolling him otherwise you're sheeple, and you may receive an animu strength punch through your monitor without warning.
- There is now a lulzy plz account dedicated to his fail and AIDS.
- Yet another plz account has been spawned from his idiocy.
- Lulzy animation he got incredibly butthurt over. Hover over the dancing faggot to view funny memorable quotes.
- Gaiaonline account Yes, gaia’s perfectly mature you fucking meatbags!11
- Byond, whatever the fuck that is
- Greg's myspace
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Freelancerraiko is part of a series on Enemies of The Lulz