⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Flash

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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    Logo-Adobe-flash.png
    File:B b.jpg
    Behold the power of flash!
    File:Flash.gif
    Flash would go on to be dramouted as hacker software by internet god, T. Reginald Gibbons.

    Adobe Flash is an alleged trojan horse computer virus designed to prevent people under 25 from ever procreating. While flash poses as that thing you need to make YouTube work, Flash is named after its ulterior motive. Flash's real goal is to make laptops run so incredibly hot that the heat generated will "flash" the users nuts with enough heat to render them sterile.

    Adobe Flash also enables the neckbeards of various *chan sites on the interwebs to sit around and watch loops of stupid chan memes on their /f/ boards. Most notably, 4chan's /f/ board has brought about many great animations and games over the years.

    In December of 2020, Adobe ended support for Flash Player, thus wiping a large amount of the internetz's old games (think: 1999-2007 era) out of f usability. RIP Flash, you will totes be missed.


    History

    In the late 90's, flash somehow got into the hands of some sweaty, fat-assed, nerds who decided to use it to make hentai and poorly created stick figure animations, sex kitten games and sim dates. These "cartoons" and "interactive games" became popular when people realized the Internet could do a lot cooler things than showing images of dancing hamsters. Flash "artists" immediately set to work creating flash files of dancing hamsters. These were then uploaded to Newgrounds.

    Small businesses began to catch on to the cartooning craze, and began asking 13 year olds to develop tedious flash intros for their shitty companies.

    A few cutting edge big businesses began incorporating flash, but they were quickly bankrupted by the huge cost of doing business with 13 year olds:

    "Here is your update. I made the red button again but I still do not understand when you say the red is different because of your paradigm. Can you provide the hex codes for your color instead of Pantene colors? This update is free but the last one will cost $10. I hope that is ok. Also, how long does it take to get a cheque, I have not received the first one yet ($40). I am not sure if Flash can control your Router and Oracles, I will get back to you on that. Thank you very much for your services, signed CEO of BounceGrafix 2000 Design."

    and also by lawsuits filed by the Java Programmer Old Man's Union.

    Purchasing Pirating

    Flash is somewhat expensive costs over 9000 dollars, so it is often pirated. Newer versions incorporate copy-protection measures which are more difficult to crack even easier to break.

    How to draw a square using Flash Studio CS3 CS4 ActionScript 3.0 Flex

    1. Click the square tool
    2. Draw a square on the screen
    3. Select it and click Transform > Align To Center
    package{
    import flash.display.Sprite; 
    public class simple_shape extends Sprite{ 
    var square:Sprite; 
    public function simple_shape(){
    square = new Sprite();
    addChild(square);
    square.graphics.lineStyle(3,0x00ff00);
    square.graphics.beginFill(0x0000FF);
    square.graphics.drawRect(0,0,100,100);
    square.graphics.endFill();
    square.x = stage.stageWidth/2-square.width/2;
    square.y = stage.stageHeight/2-square.height/2;
    }}
    }

    How to be hired by a big company as a Flash Developer

    • Buy templates from the 3rd world and say you made them
    • Use the copypasta method of programming.

    How to be hired by a big company as a Flash Cartoonist

    • Work for free
    • Love cock

    How to steal RTMP videos found on the internets

    If you are too new to torrent videos off the interwebs, or to hide your porn, it is likely that you stream videos over the web. On occasion, you may wish to download these videos. More often than not, things are are straightforward and all you need to do to get the video is use live HTTP Headers to find the HTTP URL of the video and download it that way. However, some sites use the flash RTMP protocol to transfer the video in real time, instead of a standard buffer/download over HTTP. This is done for a number of reasons: (i) to troll, (ii) to prevent copying of videos and (iii) to ensure that only 10 seconds of video is ever buffered after the exact point of the video you are currently viewing to save bandwidth costs. The latter is annoying because if you have a slow internet connection that not even deleting system 32 can speed up, the video keeps stopping and starting when you try to watch it and there is nothing you can do about it.


    So...how do I downloaded video?

    Instructions: Warning: There is a prerequisite of Computer Science III for this course.

    • Install Linux and learn how to do computer with it.
    • Download the RTMPDump software and compile it for use on the Linux kernal. This can be done using the following code in the terminal:
    cd /path/to/where/you/want/to/install/the/warez/
    svn checkout svn://svn.mplayerhq.hu/rtmpdump/trunk rtmpdump
    cd rtmpdump
    make linux
    
    • The software is installed and you can use it again and again, just run CD /path/to/where/you/installed/it**/rtmpdump/**. to invoke the script.

    We now need to get the video's location so we can download it. We do this by scanning the port on your computer that flash player streams videos through. To do this we need to redirect traffic from that port to the warez we just installed using the following code:

    sudo "iptables -t nat -A OUTPUT -p tcp --dport 1935 -m owner \! --uid-owner proxy -j REDIRECT; su -c ./rtmpsrv proxy"

    We then navigate to the web page with the video on and press play (or reload the page if it has already begun playing). The terminal will spot the video trying to stream through the port and output something like:

    ./rtmpdump -r "rtmpe://cp9950.edgefcs.net:1935/ondemand?ovpfv=1.1" -a "ondemand?ovpfv=1.1"
     -f "LNX 10,0,42,34" -W "http://media.mtvnservices.com/player/release/?v=4.2.2-8" 
     -p "http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/thu-january-14-2010-kathleen-sebelius" -C Z:
     -y "mp4:mtvnorigin/gsp.comedystor/com/colbert/season_06/episode_008/cr_06008_act1_768x432_1720.mp4"
     -o cr_06008_act1_768x432_1720.mp4

    It will then invoke the rtmpdump command with those parameters and download the video to the file specified by the -o option.

    ALL DONE!!!! Enter 'q' to quit the rtmpsrv command. If rtmpsrv didn't work then try running rtmpsuck instead.

    • This is why you have to press those annoying human verification buttons when you try to stream videos. That and additional ad revenue.

    /Owning Adobe and its shitty copy protection encrypted streaming mechanism.

    Ripoffs

    Go animate

    Easy Toon

    Easy Toon is the black person Flash. All it can do is make colorless animations that come out looking like drawings done in MS Paint. Easy Toon is mainly used by noobs that are too retarded to at least get the demo version of Flash.

    The interface

    File:EZ toon icon.JPG
    The amazing design of the Easy Toon's logo

    Easy Toon has no interface, which could explain why it is only used by retards. But if you look past the lack of style, you will see that it's really a great program.

    Animation

    If MS Paint could animate, it would be Easy Toon... Except without the colors. No matter how bad it sounds, you can still make cool animations with it. Just look at all of the talent in these

    Okay, this one actually took some talent. Pity it wasn't used on Flash.

    Basically, every Easy Toon animation is the same because they all are stickmen beating the shit out of walls.

    File:EZ toon interface.JPG
    Oh boy I wish I had some colors

    Shitty Flash cartoons and Flash "artists"


    Flash as a prank

    Alternatives to Flash

    Adobe Flash

    Did you mean shovelware?

    Adobe Flash Bundled With More Shit.jpg
    Why yes, I would like McAfee and Intel to infect my computer

    Gallery

    Videos

    External Links

    Softwarez series.jpg

    Flash is part of a series on

    Softwarez

    Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.

    CHANSPORTAL NEW.png

    Flash is part of a series on

    Chans

    Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.