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Engineers' natural habitat.jpg
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An engineer, tweaking the quantum lulz generator for maximum performance.

An engineer is a basement dwelling nerd professionally engaged in the use math and science for the purpose of designing useless crap. Engineers are concerned with making the most possible jewgold while avoiding the solutions to any practical problems. Engineers play a vital role in society, culling the populace through negligent design flaws in items such as bridges, buildings, Sentries, computers, and cars.

Engineering majors are one of the most egoistic, unfunny, self-important obnoxious pieces of shit on the planet who won't stop bitching all the time on Facebook about how hard their studies are and how they dream of studying other shit every day. This is mostly because they are too dumb to make worldly connections or produce anything that is actually useful, thus end up complaining all the time about society and how everything is so harsh on them, but somehow claim to be the smartest people on the planet. Obviously no one will ever tell them that studying something for its sense of entitlement is cringe worthy, that no one gives the slightest shit about how they have trouble dealing with their crap, and that their "trust me' I'm an engineer" jokes are almost as unfunny and annoying as their lives. Mostly because they don't have any friends to tell them these in the first place.

Engineers are generally formed when nerds first enter college and find out that 4chan is not an available major, or when a dumbass schoolgirl decides to be a 1337 h4x0r <3 <3 <3. Engineering school consist of a lifetime worth of math, science and other useless crap packed into four years. The required math homework precludes all physical activity, causing massive muscle atrophy. Unlike everyone else, engineers have no time to get laid in college and end up spending all their time trying not to fail at Applied Mechanics 1402.

Once out of college, engineers become certified by the NAMBLA and can begin careers designing items as diverse as dildos and Apple computers.


  • Mechanical engineers sit around all day bitching about how robots have made their job obsolete spies have been sappin' their sentries. Some argue mechanical engineers are still useful for designing lawn mowers ,toasters, TV antennes, and reclining chairs. Mechanical engineers designed your prosthetic penis.
  • Polymer engineers are a special flavor of chemical engineer. Polymer engineers generally try to destroy the environment as fast as possible, while attempting to turn horse shit into plastic. Polymer engineers designed your latex suit, you sick fuck.
Hung Load in Toeing Wenches 4.
  • Industrial engineers walk around and tell people that they are doing it wrong because they are butthurt about being life long virgins. They live to eat muda because its the only way they can get off. They didn't create the interwebs, they just made it gay.
  • Audio - not even real engineers.

Just in! White americans B& from MIT

I want to an engineer.



See Also

This woman wanted to become an engineer.

Famous Engineers

Useful/Useless Crap Designed by Engineers

External Links

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