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Learning how to entertain from the master.

E.T. (The Extra Terrestrial) is a magical film about an alien, whos parents hate the fucking sight of him, so they do a "Maddie", dumping him on earth. He then goes on to befriend a young boy called Elliott, and engages in sexual activity with his mother and sister before fucking off home.


Early tie-in merchandising.
20,000,000,000,000 made just in time for Christmas

Creaming at the prospect of a Star Wars type franchise, Shlomo auctioned off E.T. to the highest bidder. As a result, there was nary a surface to be seen which didn't bear E.T.'s loveable visage. Rumor has it, that Michael Jackson paid $1M to spend a night alone with the puppet... and not even the cool mechanical one with a robotic mouth. E.T. didn't mind though, his asshole was already gaping due to the combined force of Senor Spielbergo and his associates.

The Infamous Atari Game

LOL Landfill!

Pioneering the now tedious tradition of releasing a shit computer game on the back of the success of a film, Spielberg & Co. decided to cash in on the fantastic potential of E.T. by selling the film rights to Atari. Unfortunately the game was so dire that what was forecast as Profit!!!!!11111 for the people at Atari, ended up in EPIC FAIL, with Atari being reported as "An heroed" Last Thursday. Then, like all American problems, the shady East took the fall and almost all copies of the game were taken to the Iraqi desert where Atari gifted the sacred land with trillions of tons of imperishable plastic.

The 5 Steps to Success

  1. Write a film featuring a main character with big eyes and a stupid voice.
  2. Spend $200 making said film.
  3. Sell everything, including your anus.
  4. ????
  5. Profit!


See also


is part of a series on
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Television & Film

30033 TeethA Clockwork OrangeAir BudAugust Underground's MordumAvatarBlack ChristmasBrokeback MountainCannibal HolocaustCloverfieldDuneE.T.Expelled: No Intelligence AllowedFight ClubFoodfight!Gayniggers from Outer SpaceGrotesqueGuinea PigHard CandyHarry PotterI Am LegendInceptionInnocence of MuslimsJackassLord of the RingsMegan is MissingMy Little Pony: Equestria GirlsOpen Water 2RIKI-OHRoboCopSawScott Pilgrim vs. the WorldSnakes on a PlaneStar WarsSuicide SquadThe Human CentipedeThe Hunger GamesThe InterviewThe Lion KingThe MatrixThe MissionThe Nightmare Before ChristmasThe RingThe RoomThe ShiningThe WarriorsThe WizardThey LiveToxic AvengerTroll 2TwilightV For VendettaWatchmenWhere The Dead Go To Die


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