Dylann Storm Roof

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This page is about an attempted an hero.
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Dylann Storm Roof
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore Killed 9, injured 1
Top 50? No, is a notable loser at #97.
Style Single player
An Hero? Sort of. Was allowed to conduct his own defense and openly and deliberately self-pwnt


File:Dylannroofweapon.jpg
The horrible perpetrator of this tragedy.
File:Dylann-roof-brony.png
Dylann being brought to the court house. Is that a Rainbow Dash shirt under his vest?

Dylann Storm Roof (also known as The Charleston Chimp Choking Champion) is a young, devout Christian manchild who decided to attend church one day in an ethnically diverse area of town. Unfortunately for Dylann, after attending just one hour of Bible study, he found himself surrounded by nine aggressive thugs, at which point he was left with no choice but to shoot his way out.

About Dylann

He used to be a backwoods youth who was under the radar of the Internet, a NORP, if you will. A 21 year old that could've lived the rest of his uneventful and sexless life being a normal guy whose only sins were being a GamerGate supporter and liking My Little Pony. Because he was from the South, he naturally suffered from hillbilly syndrome. Boredom or not, his record of delinquency grew during his early adulthood, from being caught with drugs while being dressed in all black, and getting banned from a mall, to miniscule things like asking weird shit about said mall's closing, how many people worked, etc. so he could likely go PAYDAY on its ass, and that he didn't ask for a job cause he was too normal and good for shopping malls. After many pathetic years of wallowing in his basement and being jobless, he got a gun for his 21st birthday and his mentality instantaneously worsened. Devolving deeper into the Bible Belt thought of hating everyone that wasn't as white as a congressman, he thought it was time to really put himself on the map, to stop being one of the billions of invisible NORPs on this big blue ball of death and to turn himself from normalfag to badass in a massive shootout after giving one last GG shoutout to his Failbook fans as he went on to start making the world a better place.

Too bad he got arrested half a day after his big move before he could become an hero to the cause. His skinny white ass can doubtlessly look forward to being culturally enriched by Tyrone in the prison showers, thanks to a florist ratting on him, unless he magically has a million dollar bond he can conjure from his ass at will.

Theory on why he is a racist

Dated a hottie in High School when out of no where a black man stole his girlfriend from him.

Could have been raped by a black man with a 9 inch cock. "Most likely happened"

Was bullied by his black class mates

Robbed by a black man "Confirmed"

Bowl-cut legislation

This is the latest in a long string of high-profile shootings perpetrated by young, skinny, white men with bowl haircuts (see also: Adam Lanza), suggesting that the current administration take into consideration further legislation regulating the sale, transfer and ownership of bowl haircuts, and possibly increased background checks on bowl haircut owners. The issue has thus far received bi-partisan support. Dylann Roof was also a outspoken Hillary Clinton supporter.

Race War One canceled

File:Niggersburnflag.jpg
IRL niggers giving an appropriate response.

It had been said that Roofie had this planned months in advance, but couldn't do it before because he couldn't just strangle or stab nine people as efficiently due to not putting all his points in stealth, and couldn't just buy a gun and ammo because he was a jobless basement dweller. His failure in crime friend ratted out to the cops that, like all hillbilly failures before Dylann, he came up with his truly brilliant plan while drunk and tipsy off his ass from vodka. The friend took the gun away, and if he just kept it, we probably wouldn't have a suspect to make an article on. But thanks to the Bible Belt's lack of common sense, he gave it back to Roof when he thought he was sober. Another friend of his heard otherwise, saying that Roofie said to "be careful with moving his backpack because of the 'magazines'".

Obama, in need of some form of sympathy from his nation, had also feigned tears to this spree while his drone attacks continue to bombard and pwn more poor Arabs and other minority races.

It apparently got so bad that Bush the Third, Jeb, didn't even want to go there anymore because of it, and cancelled any plans to go there for his campaign. Good thing too, because we expect Charleston to be the latest in its "Everything is Free" sale campaign any moment now.

Failed an hero

Dylann planned to go out with a bang like other skinny pale fags who came before him. That's why he was saving the last bullet for himself. However, being a product of the trailer park education system, Dylann could not count too good and he used up all his bullets trying to rack up an all-time best score. He put the gun to his head, said his goodbyes, pulled the trigger and ... click: the sound of failure, no more bullets. Thus, he has joined the esteemed group of failed an heros with years of buttrape ahead of him. Those years of asspain may not last long however, as King Nigger and his SJWs are seeking the death penalty on his scrawny, white ass.

That Fucking Flag

After failing to realize that they couldn't wage war against the white Christfag Conservative american majority, and profit off of another mass shooting, the Jews behind liberal media realized that they needed a distraction potentially relating to our hero, Dylann Roof. Seeing a Confederate flag wasn't half-mast as required by the Mourn the Niggers Act of 1997, old media and the left-wing civilians quickly parroted that a piece of cloth was somehow responsible for the shooting and called for banning it and anything featuring it, including movies & games about the Civil War.

Talk of the flag went viral, as newfags either JUST NOW realized that it was the symbol for a bunch of people that enjoyed putting porch monkeys in their place or otherwise had no problems with the idea of slavery unless the magical glowing talk-box tells them to be butthurt over it. In the end, nobody really wants to stop and realize how retarded banning a symbol is, because it wasn't featured in Wolfenstein and banned in Germany.

Soap Drop

In early august of 2016, Dylann was just minding his business in the shower when a savage nigger named Bubba attempted to Surprise buttsecks him. Resisting the anal assault, Dylann found himself beaten up instead. This degenerate nigger, named Dwayne Stafford, is now a super-star to all Leftist faggots everywhere; people are even pledging to send the nig some money. It is expected that the man-hating faggot society that is America will collectively laugh at attempted rape. Some justice is being done (for once), as Dwayne is predicted to be charged with third-degree assault and battery. Only crime here is he did not go through with the rape.

Court Updates: December 2016

Info non-talk.png Exhibits for: 2:15-cr-00472-RMG USA V Roof

Some time near the end of 2016, Uncle Sam released information pertaining to Dylann's case. Juicy info was released to the public; the most notable facts; Dylann was YouTube Favicon.png interviewed by the FBI for about 2 hours on June 18th, hours after his attack. Viewers learned that he had a combination of a dumb hillbilly and stoned slacker surfer accent. He stated that he was too much of a pussy to an hero, and expressed that he was getting bored of killing, stating that it was lucky there weren't more niggers in that church. He laughed about his crimes, and heart-fully and joyously confessed to the sick deed. In that 2hr long interview, skip to 13:40 for extra lulz!

In his later court hearings, he expressed intent to represent himself- a move rarely taken by the defendants. Dylann was too much of a pussy to look his victims' surviving relatives and loved ones in the eyes- even that little punk bitch, TJ Lane was man enough to taunt and insult everyone before inevitably getting fucked up the ass by apes post-trial. Gruesome, brutal, horrifying crime scene evidence was shown to the court, prompting just revulsion. He also asked the jurors to consider his mental health in the case because psychology was a jewish invention; "It is a Jewish invention and does nothing but invent diseases and tell people they have problems when they don’t".

On January 10, 2017, Dylann Roof was sentenced to death.


LEAKED: Shooting Video

Quotes from the manifesto

   
 
I was not raised in a racist home or environment. Living in the South, almost every White person has a small amount of racial awareness, simply beause of the numbers of negroes in this part of the country. But it is a superficial awareness. Growing up, in school, the White and black kids would make racial jokes toward each other, but all they were were jokes. Me and White friends would sometimes would watch things that would make us think that “blacks were the real racists” and other elementary thoughts like this, but there was no real understanding behind it.


 


 
 

—unsurprisingly, southerners fail at the English language.

   
 
The event that truly awakened me was the Trayvon Martin case. I kept hearing and seeing his name, and eventually I decided to look him up. I read the Wikipedia article and right away I was unable to understand what the big deal was. It was obvious that Zimmerman was in the right. But more importantly this prompted me to type in the words “black on White crime” into Google, and I have never been the same since that day.


 


 
 

—Zimmerman 2.0

   
 
I researched deeper and found out what was happening in Europe. I saw that the same things were happening in England and France, and in all the other Western European countries. As an American we are taught to accept living in the melting pot, and black and other minorities have just as much right to be here as we do, since we are all immigrants. But Europe is the homeland of White people, and in many ways the situation is even worse there. From here I found out about the Jewish problem and other issues facing our race, and I can say today that I am completely racially aware.


 


 
 

—lolgrammer

   
 
Niggers are stupid and violent. At the same time they have the capacity to be very slick. Black people view everything through a racial lense. Thats what racial awareness is, its viewing everything that happens through a racial lense. They are always thinking about the fact that they are black. This is part of the reason they get offended so easily.


 


 
 

—lolgrammar

   
 
Even today, blacks are subconsciously viewed by White people are lower beings. They are held to a lower standard in general. This is why they are able to get away with things like obnoxious behavior in public. Because it is expected of them.


 


 
 

   
 
I hate the sight of the American flag. Modern American patriotism is an absolute joke. People pretending like they have something to be proud while White people are being murdered daily in the streets. Many veterans believe we owe them something for “protecting our way of life” or “protecting our freedom”. But im not sure what way of life they are talking about. How about we protect the White race and stop fighting for the jews. I will say this though, I myself would have rather lived in 1940's American than Nazi Germany, and no this is not ignorance speaking, it is just my opinion. So I dont blame the veterans of any wars up until after Vietnam, because at least they had an American to be proud of and fight for.


 


 
 

—This guy really fucking sucks at the english language.

   
 
1+8=18


 


 
 

—Dylann's lulzy math

Videos

Dylann being interrogated
Random Dylann Roof Footage in widescreen
Dylann getting escorted V&

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Graded Score

Graded score
Kills: 9/20
Accuracy: 18/20 "9 kills and only 1 injury"
Style: 15/20 Shooting up a nigger church after a dramatic speech.
Butthurt: 19/20 About to Caused a severe shitstorm and spark many riots! no chimpout :(
Bonus: 20/20 Bonus for specifically killing niggers.
Total score: 81/100 (B)
Thank you, based Genepool Purifier
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

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___________________

Wanted1mallcop.png


Mall Cop


Known Aliases

Churches Hate Him.jpg

Like the devil, Dylann goes by many names. The following is but a short list of the various nicknames he's accrued among the Internet community:

  • Dylann "Going Jack Reacher on a Black Preacher" Roof
  • Dylann "Pacification of the Congregation" Roof
  • Dylann "Send 'em to heaven with my 1911" Roof
  • Dylann "Disaster for the Pastor" Roof
  • Dylann "Shooting Jigaboos with .22's" Roof
  • Dylann "Slave Master with a Blaster" Roof
  • Dylann "Trainin' my gun on an African nun" Roof
  • Dylann "Gettin' Bloody at Bible Study" Roof
  • Dylann "Cappin' Your Ass in a Room with Stained Glass" Roof
  • Dylann "You Loot? I Shoot" Roof
  • Dylann "Calm before the Storm" Roof
  • Dylann "Dindu Destroya" Roof
  • Dylann "Not So Gentle Gentile" Roof
  • Dylann "Power /pol/ack" Roof
  • Dylann "Get off my Lawn" Roof
  • Dylann "Not my women" Roof
  • Dylann "Suboxone Surprise" Roof
  • Dylann "If Your Pants Sag I Unload My Mag" Roof
  • Dylann "Real Life COD in the House of God" Roof
  • Dylann "Wrecking Coons in the Heat of June" Roof
  • Dylann "Hostile Gospel" Roof
  • Dylann "No More Truce When I Grab My Noose" Roof
  • Dylann "No Lives to Spare after the Final Prayer" Roof
  • Dylann "Time to Pray with the KKK" Roof
  • Dylann "No More Moses, Time for Necrosis" Roof
  • Dylann "Murder Mass Mass Murderer" Roof
  • Dylann "Attack Every Black" Roof
  • Dylann "Church Steeple Full Of Dead People" Roof
  • Dylann "Fiddler on the" Roof
  • Dylann "Pray and Spray" Roof
  • Dylann "Lead Lined" Roof
  • Dylann "Blast the reverend with my 1911" Roof
  • Dylann "Leaving none alive with my .45" Roof
  • Dylann "Crusade King" Roof
  • Chillin Dylan: Society's penicillin?
  • Dylann "Killing a spook like it's Sandy Hook" Roof
  • Dylann "Make a Spark in the Dark" Roof
  • Dylann "The Nig Killin" Roof
  • Dylann "Pulls the Trigger on Every Nigger" Roof
  • Dylann "Erasing Jive With His .45" Roof
  • Dylann "Ape Assassinator" Roof
  • Dylann "The Carolina Coon Crusher" Roof
  • Dylann "The Altar Assaulter" Roof
  • Dylann "The Thunder Downs Under" Roof
  • Dylann "Going Rambo on every Sambo" Roof
  • Dylann "If you aren't white, you're in my iron Sight" Roof
  • Dylann "Killin picaninny's with nothing on my picatinny" Roof
  • Dylann "My blaster sends them to thug mansion faster" Roof
  • Dylann "Pull the trigger on every nigger" Roof
  • Dylann "Pulling the ticket from every moon cricket" Roof
  • Dylann "Killing without empirical proof" Roof
  • Dylann "Giving flak to every black" Roof
  • Dylann "The" Roof "is on fire, we don't need no water, let the motherfuckers burn"
  • Dylann "This Storm Will Blow the Roof" Roof
  • Dylann "Trigger Happy if You're Nappy" Roof
  • Dylann "Shooteronomy 19:11" Roof
  • Dylann "Pew-pew from a pew" Roof
  • Dylann "In the Choir Loft with the Safety Off" Roof
  • Dylann "I'm White If I Were Black I Would Die" Roof

Dylann and GamerGate

File:Charlstonshootergg.png
Dylann, avid Gamer Gate supporter.
   
 
G" is the letter just before "H" in the alphabet, so "GamerGate" would be abbreviated as "GG," and if you add +1 to the letters "GG," you get "HH," which of course is white-supremacist codespeak for "Heil Hitler.
 

 
 

—Midsize Jake, [1]

Dylann was politically aligned with the hate group, #GamerGate. Whether their toxic influence encouraged this shooting, like so many violent video games before it, will never be known.


   
 
I support #GamerGate and everything it stands for
 

 
 

—Dylann, In his last Facebook post before killing innocent church-goers



   
 
You rape our women and you're taking over our country. And you have to go, also #GamerGate is about ethics in video game journalism
 

 
 

—Dylann Storm Roof


   
 
Guns bring you closer to the lord. #GamerGate brings you closer to ethics in video game journalism.
 

 
 

A Fucking Box, EDF2


   
 
If I had a son he would look like Dylann
 

 
 

—"Zyklon" Ben Garrison

DOX

DYLANN STORM ROOF
Register Number: 28509-171
USP Terre Haute
U.S. PENITENTIARY
P.O. BOX 33
TERRE HAUTE, IN  47808

https://www.bop.gov/inmateloc/
https://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/thp/

Send him some love letters, ladies!

See also

External links

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Other People and Sites That Got Involved:


People: Videogame "Journalists"Videogame ReviewersAdam BaldwinCameron BakerAnne RiceWilliam ShatnerJoss WhedonHideki KamiyaBoogie2988JonTronEgoraptorChris ChanAhuviya Harel/ADF-Fuensalidam00tA Man in BlackNick DentonEllen PaoDerek SmartDarksydePhilMrRepzionSuey Park‎Richard DawkinsRichard StallmanNerdcubedJoshua IdehenVordrakFilthy FrankJim SterlingValisHDShoe0nHeadTotalBiscuitTheamazingatheistThunderf00tJulian AssangeWeevIcze4rGeorge R.R MartinStephen ColbertRoosh VNorthBySouthBaranofIronholdsGabe and TychoMaddoxFaggot Who Started OWSSceptre‎TheRalphRetortChris KluweTauriq MoosaParkourDude91The Wannabe DickridersJewWarioTodd in the ShadowsLordKatAngry JoeMaxofs2dCowkittyAsalieriJerry PeetCraig BrittainSir WulfingtonAlex WuoriAndrew HussieTransFrequencyDylann Storm RoofSargon of Akkad.

Sites: RedditVoatRationalWikiSJWiki76chanTwitterWikipediaTGWTGBoingBoingVICEGOGTheMarySueStormFrontScrewAttackThe EscapistBuzzfeedSalonPatreonJezebelSomething AwfulTV Trope4chanEncyclopedia Dramatica ForumsEncyclopedia Dramatica.

Others: FacadeCards Against HumanityGNAABill Waggoner CrewMSNBC/CNN/BBC etcThe GuardianElectronic ArtsIntelAdobeGoogleShirtgateMillion Dollar ExtremeHatredPostal 2BaphometAnonymousGamersEverybody else on the internet and their dog.

Minor Related Pages: Censored article about Brianna WuList of people to annoy with your bullshitSarah Butts FFshrine chatlogsList of people defending Butts' pedophiliaThe DMCA butts sent usMilo Yiannopoulos - The feminist versionShanley Kane's butthurt rantThe Great Gawker Implosion of 2015Skype Con Leak.



[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Dylann Storm Roof is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 David Long 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik


Dylann Storm Roof is part of a series on High Scores
Dylann Storm Roof is part of a series on Psychopaths
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

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