Dr. Laura Schlessnigger
|We all know you're here for the nudes. SKIP AHEAD|
—Dr. Laura, irony-ing her dirty laundry
Dr. Laura Schlessblack person, commonly known as just Dr. Laura, is a physiologist that styles herself as a shrink on the radio. She is very well known for her morally conservative views, blunt commentary and ability to troll both liberals and the generally sane with her strident candor. She thinks she is better than you and will attempt to remind you of this as often as possible. Recently, her first-amendment rights were so viciously marginalized by black people that she quit her entire radio career in lulzy shame.
While the good doctor does hold a doctorate degree, it is in neither psychology or psychiatry or anything related to mental sciences. Her doctorate is in physiology: as in, medicine regarding your organs. This is, naturally, about as useful for giving mental health advice as a philosophy degree is for getting a respectable job. Her audience constantly refers to her as a therapist and due to some menacing law, she has to repeatedly inform them that she holds no degree that qualifies her to examine or diagnose anything psychological but she does it anyway and they eat it up. She relies mainly on ignorance and stupidity to hold any validity, which found her a very widespread target audience in America.
Nigger Nigger Nigger
On August 10, 2010 a niggerette named Jade called her radio show asking for advice about her white husband. She claimed that her ebony-fetish husband wasn't defending her against her husband's evil racist friends that were attacking her with examples of extreme verbal excellence such as: "is it true black people like watermelonz?" When Dr. Laura pressed the issue, Jade said that they'd used the "N" word against her. Dr. Laura then gave the nigress very rational and straightforward advice: informing Jade that she's hypersensitive, and then set the bitch straight by repeating the word "nigger" at her eleven times in rapid-fire succession.
The following day, the NAACP forced Dr. Laura to issued an on-air apology. Nita "Jade" Hanson, the nigress claiming responsibility for calling decided this wasn't enough and went on CNN to rip a Dr. Laura a new asshole. Poor Mrs. Hanson talks about her "crying sprees" since the event and baws on the air. Her testimony proved that the call was not a troll in disguise, but a legitimate nigress with a taste for the white meat.
Dr. Laura is now "retiring" because of this.
All in the family
Deryk Schlessnigger, son of Laura and deployed soldier in Afghanastan is also a proponent of the lulz. In 2007 he stirred up some lol when he created a myspace page with "cartoon depictions of rape, murder, torture, and child molestation; photographs of soldiers with guns in their mouths; a photograph of a bound and blindfolded detainee captioned 'My Sweet Little Habib;' accounts of illicit drug use; and a blog entry headlined by a series of obscenities and racial epithets..." Dr. Laura is clearly doing it right. It's tough bringing up a gay rapist pedophile racist child in today's society.
Farewell to thee
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Oppressive minority groups and pressure from the jewlords of old media forced Dr. Laura to end her talk show. She also stated that she will not be renewing her contract at the end of this year. If this is due to the Nigger controversy or if it just her time to go, we may never know. What we do know is that she will continue to battle against the unfair language facism of the melanin-possessing. Some say her next target is Obama.
—Dr. Laura on the fucking CONSTITUTION, The liberal Jew is a plague.
A letter to the doctor:
While preaching monogamy to her followers, Dr. Laura was having a buttsecks with a married man. She then allowed nude photos of her to be taken. Many years later her sexual partner, himself also a radio personality that taught conservative values, sold the photos for cash and lulz. Dr Laura attempted to have them removed from the internets, but to no avail. Streisand Effect wins again. Also irony. ZOMG NOODZ
Dr. Laura Schlessnigger is part of a series on
Dr. Laura Schlessnigger is apart of an ongoing series on