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    Dick Masterson

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    File:Dickmastersonlulz.jpg
    Dick on Dr. Phil sporting a pedo mustache and rapist glasses
    File:Unabomber-fbi.gif
    Ted Kaczynski took the fall for Dick


       
     
    Female anger is the weathervane of truth
     

     
     

    —Dick Masterson

    Little is known about Dr. Dick Masterson, only that he is a messenger from God sent to enlighten women around the world about why everything sucks because of them. In other words, he is one of the most obvious IRL trolls that has ever lived but women fall for it and thus create a weird meta-troll effect where he's proven right due to the hordes of butthurt bitches left in his path. Dick Masterson is Dax Herrera's alter ego. Here is a link to Dax's myspace http://www.myspace.com/daxer Here is another link on a bodybuilding forum. Oh yeah, I sure want to follow his "teachings" hahahah http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131233283 Doing a search on Dick Masterson on this same bodybuilding forum will yield many results, some from "Dick" himself who gets butthurt when he is proven to be nothing but a troll, and a hypocritical one at that. On his men are better than women forum, these facts were posted by a woman, and were quickly taken down by him or one of his mods. They got a little butthurt themselves, seems Dax doesn't like it when he is unmasked.


       
     
    You're paying for the whore to leave
     

     
     

    —Mighty Dick


    Website

    While the majority of Dick's fame comes from his real-life escapades, he also has a website through which he shares his infinite wisdom with fellow assholes and male chauvinists of the internet. Having an advanced degree in Dickology, Dick has written many classic works, including this list of reasons he compiled on why men are way better than women.

    File:Fat-and-pwnd.gif
    A typical woman's reaction to the truth. Fucking priceless.


    no women can stand against dick:

    Dick Masterson: women line up to go out with me!

    Her: I don't see any women lining up to go out with you, and even if there were, I would be last in line.

    DM: maybe if you hit the treadmill more often you will be in first.

    This is an example of a technique Dick has created and mastered known as the "Verbal Cunt Punt" or VCP for short. It allows dick to turn raging Feminazis back into respectable women without the need to punch or kick their filthy untouched snatches.


    Top 10 Reasons why Men are Better than Women

    10. Men have penises

       
     
    Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do.
     

     
     

    9. Marriage is stupid

       
     
    Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day.
     

     
     

    8. Boys destroy things

       
     
    Men are natural destroyers. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
     

     
     

    7. Men wear watches

       
     
    Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
     

     
     

    6. Men write illegibly

       
     
    Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
     

     
     

    5. Men live less than women

       
     
    Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit.
     

     
     

    4. Women are racists

       
     
    Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred.
     

     
     

    3. Men are not sponges

       
     
    Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires.
     

     
     

    2. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

       
     
    I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues.
     

     
     

    1. Jesus was a Man

       
     
    Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
     

     
     

    FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST GUY EVER

    DOX

       
     
    I don't waste my time sitting around with friends calling websites that piss me off.
     

     
     

    —Dick

    Like a real man, Dick puts out his contact info for directly handling death threats. Of course, all of the women who call keep on proving Dick's point that women are stupid because they just ramble on about shit nobody cares about.

    Hate Mail

    Dick Masterson serves a secondary purpose as an agent provocateur, inciting self-professed feminists to express their true feelings and views. He simply states a general view about women, and then militant feminists - women and men - bombard him with death and castration threats, often accompanied by a generalized claim about men. Because it's not sexist if you're a girl. Or a self-loathing male.

       
     
    I think you need to be castrated. Why you ask? Well deary You cant have these opinions and get away with it, its like being a pedophile - Thats why you need to be castrated! DAHHHHHH!!!
     

     
     

    —-Girl power on thoughtcrime

       
     
    Thanks for reading this, and I hope I was able to educate you on something, because God knows you need a lot of it.

    May God (apparently Jesus in your case) bless you with less stupider thoughts, not intelligent.
     


     
     

    —-Harini Chandrasegaram on modesty

       
     
    why do you think that thing between your legs really means anything

    it would not be that hard to just cut off and look what would you really have then being a male would be well sucky the littles thing it and your on your knees holding it crying well go fuck your self (if you a can get it up)
     


     
     

    —-angela on penis envy

       
     
    If you love men so much, go suck some dick and get some fucking respect for girls.


     


     
     

    —-hatty on persuasion through homophobia


    The Biggest Problem in the Universe

    On May 20th, 2014, Masterson started a podcast called Biggest Problem in the Universe with long-time web satirist Maddox. On May 31st, 2016, Maddox abruptly cancelled the successful 107 episode Podcast (not including bonus content) due to being cucked by Masterson.

    The Dick Show

    Following the untimely death of The Biggest Problem in the Universe, Masterson started his own Podcast, The Dick Show, a very HIGH ENERGY podcast. Weekly tidbits of Hot Goss are distributed like Orange Chicken samples in a mall food court. Asterios Kokkinos, a New York liberal whe stresses the 'cock' a little too much whenever he says Michael Dukakis' name, regularly contributes, as does Sç̱͈͓͔̬̠̞z̴̙̖̥͕̪ḩ̖̣̣̙̱̬̘ṳ͈̈a͎̣̙̟̳̱̞n͇̹, the audio engineer by day, ass-farming civil war reenacting Nazi stoner by night.

    Personal and Professional Reputation

    On September 25th, 2016, Maddox launched an attack on Masterson's "personal AND professional reputation". Maddox released a video trying to spin an innocuous statement by Masterson into him being a rape apologist, and subsequently sicked the helldogs of the SJW world on him, getting him fired from Upright Citizen's Brigade. When Maddox's attack failed miserably and backfired, the Patreonis kicked in a whopping $18,465 (2/2/17) to the Dick fund, spiraling him into a 24-hour, 7 day a week alcoholic rage, condensed into an hour and a half long Podcast.


    The Valentine's Day Massacre

    On February 14th, 2017, Dustin, a random guy who had made a Facebook page for the show and appointed himself Moderator, brought 3 of the saddest stories to the bonus episode, at one point leaving listeners wondering if the current caller had killed himself. Among the other callers were a sexually-abused and near-homeless trap and a guy with.. well, with just a shitty life. Mind you, he brought these callers into a comedy show. Dustin, as a result of his actions, was sentenced to a day in the stocks down at the marketplace where customers could hiss and curse at him, along with the occasional golden shower.

    External Links

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    Dick Masterson is part of a series on

    Sex

    Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.


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    Dick Masterson is part of a series on

    Trolls

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    Dick Masterson is part of a series on

    Truth

    Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.