After inventing it, Americans nation-built the country for east coasters to have a place of debasing debauchery outside national jurisdiction to vacation without being indicted. Cuba used to have a pro-American puppet president in power and enjoyed a profitable economy of sex, tourism, bars, and nightclubs, all available to the average Amerofag visitor and provided by the average Cuban worker; serving the same geopolitical role as Thailand serves today to Europeans who actually have time to vacation like Americans did in the 20s. All the fun stopped when Fidel Castro commied up the place and drove away boatloads of white Cubans and all their Jew Gold to Miami. Everything stayed pretty much the same in terms of slave labor, although after the Revolution, rather than cater to the Mafia, the people had to cater to Castro and his minions, and were forced to abandon their traditional religions and proclaim Castro a deity. Castro made sure all his
people cronies were happy, and was especially close to his brother Raul. The Jewnited States got pissed, so it sent a bunch of exiled Cubans to invade the island who instead got beaten back by Cuba's ragtag military and came home to inflate the electoral base that would eventually elect Ronald Reagan president sealing the fate of the United States and its vacation-deprived populace.
Cuba is a thriving democracy nestled in a lush tropical paradise. Its white sandy beaches, brown soft bitches, and lack of American oily cetaceans elevates this providential island to number one destination to spend your golden years according to International Living Magazine.
To more effectively assure clean sparse golf courses for Europeans, the government conveniently jails millions of citizens in several cities, which are in fact filthy and crowded ghettos across the island. Havana, the largest ghetto, has its people working maintaining all of Castro's palaces and Hemingway's tavern. In Eastern Cuba, that is closer to Haiti, the Jew-run prison camp of Gitmo holds hundreds of prisoners sent there by the Americunts, all of them terrorist Muslims fresh from the Middle East and Canada. It is supposed to be torturous hell there, although the owners of the prison fail to realize that it would be better simply to release them into Cuban society. The rest of the country is simply miles and miles of malaria-infested forests, sometimes dotted with tiny Maroon villages. The inhabitants survive by cutting down trees and selling the wood, causing major butthurt to envirofags, who would rather they
starve find something else to do like whoring themselves.
In 2006, Messianic Leader for Life Fidel Castro got really sick, and got even worse when he went to a Cuban hospital, so he let his brother Raul take over after the Cuban people democratically elected him. Cuba has boosted its military forces with old Russian equipment and vehicles and has staged exercises all in an attempt to warn the Yankee empire that the Cuban people are ready to resist any imperialist capitalist aggression against their homeland.
- Religious deity: Fidel Castro, Raul Castro, Che Guevara, Karl Marx
- President: Raul Castro
- Prime Minister: Raul Castro
- Head of Parliament: Raul Castro
- Head of Supreme Court: Raul Castro
- Minister of Defense: Raul Castro
- Minister of Education: Raul Castro
- Minister of Health: Raul Castro
- Writer of Constitution: Raul Castro
- Vote counter: Raul Castro
- Virgin Inspector: Raul Castro