|100px||WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! also did you know that China has experienced its first blue sky since forever?? Thank you Corona-Chan, for showing those bugmen how to stop harming the environment, just by killing them.|
|Welcome to the roaring 20s, faggots!|
|Influenza deaths worldwide annually||250,000-646,000+|
|Close relatives||SARS, common cold|
CoronavirusTemplate:Disease, officially known as COVID or The Beast (USA), and additionally known as Sinovirus, the Chinese Virus, Chinese AIDS, Chinkiepox, Szechuan Sore Throat, The Holocough, Flu-Tang Clan, Kung Flu, Winnie The Flu, Corona Ebola, China's One Corpse Policy, The Great Reap Forward, The Boomer Remover, Bat Aids, Super AIDS, Wuhan Flu, Sweet and Sour Sicken, The downfall of the USA, Communist Lung Herpes or "Mould in my Lungs" (and officially COVID-19 or Coronavirus Disease 2019, or by science, SARS-Coronavirus 2) is a viral
epidemic PANDEMIC and a punishment from God that started in back in late 2019 in the worlds biggest, dirtiest and most morally bankrupt sewer of a country. There are various theories about it's origin (see below) but regardless of this the disease has since spread across the entire planet, and is planning to become the lulziest pandemic in (modern) history (with around 133,591,000+ confirmed cases).
The disease originated in Wuhan which is in nobody gives a fuck province when some chinky cunts thought it was a good idea to chomp down on a few bats and drink their pee. This resulted in 4,600 (China, like always, is keeping the stats of the virus shoved up it's ass and not allowing anyone to see the real numbers) deaths of smelly Chinamen. But don't you worry the proud communist government of China has a solution that everyone is pleased with, a massive province wide quarantine so all the sick Yings and Yangs don't infect the rest of glorious China leaving the sick just to die. The World Health Organization praises the communist party for their actions. While we know China would have been fucked if not for them shutting down everything, the rest of the world has had to deal with chink tourists infecting everyone around them.
After Final Fantasy Xi cooked the numbers, Europe was recognized as the epicentre of Chink AIDS, but somewhere in early June, the USA got so many cases that it constituted most of the pandemic--meaning the disease is mostly killing fat white people and therefore the situation is slightly less important than before. However, Twitter users threatened to name the USA the new epicenter, and it seems to have come true by now (there are 9.5 total cases per hundred, and about 2.06 active cases per hundred, with the only countries exceeding it in case total being Luxembourg, Slovenia, Gibraltar, San Marino, Czechia, Montenegro, and Andorra, but none of those have nearly as many people, with a combined total of ~13-14 million people). This is mostly due to it's idiotic leader doing the same or better than other leaders, refusing to hug chinks, and because of the US's dismal healthcare system (so bad, in fact, that medical tourists flock to it every year). A few months after the arrival of coronavirus in South Africa, it's beginning to spread like wildfire, and the world is becoming slightly better (thought the total situation is worsening). The worst coronavirus place used to be Italy, with the retards of this country opting for complacency instead of caution (look at that smurf event), resulting in over 116,000 deaths, but on April 10 2020, the USA finally exceeded Italy in death toll.
Interestingly (and this goes back to the aforementioned nigger postulate), India (a country known for it's superb wealth, infrastructure, national organisation and hygienic practices) was infected at the same time as Italy, but has only now seen around 1.51 times the number of deaths, despite being nearly 2 orders of magnitude more populous and literally oozing shit. This reemphasizes the fact that most of the people who die from COVID are old cunts, which is unfortunate since most of the population of shithole countries is younger than 40. India has also now become the country with the second most amount of cases, but only 4th in deaths, with Brazil still being second.
The virus has already infected half of the British government and members of the Royal Family. It has also infected government officials/associates in Canada, Germany, France and the United States (starting with Senator Rand Paul). Despite this, COVID has yet to kill anyone really important, and it has yet to infect The Donald (note, has infected THE DONALD, but he survived it, and said something along the lines of "The doctors didn't find DNA, they found America, my DNA is America").
- 1 Origins
- 2 Don't worry, it's just the flu, bro
- 3 World reaction
- 4 World Health Organization's response
- 5 Famous People Who Have Gotten Corona
- 6 China's 3 Step Plan To Blame It All On USA
- 7 Show Your Support
- 8 Videos
- 9 Galleries
- 10 See also
- 11 External links
There are numerous theories as to the origins of the coronavirus, all of the more serious ones involve the Chinese being even more sloppy and careless than usual, and highlighting that this moral sewer of a country has learned ABSOLUTELY nothing from the SARS epidemic of 2003 (basically the exact same as coronavirus but less infectious, it was COVID Prototype 1) or the Bird Flu outbreak some years later. It has been difficult to definitively establish the origin due to the Chinese government being about as cooperative with investigations as Jeffrey Epstein (perhaps it's time they "committed suicide").
The prevailing theory as of the now (mid August 2020) is that the yellow people were studying disease in bats (known for carrying fuckloads of diseases that are very dangerous to humans) and that due to a lapse in security, hygiene protocol, or some other incident of general Chinese dumbfuckery, a certain virus escaped the lab and/or infected one of the researchers. The rest is history. Various countries are currently investigating this.
The other plausible theory is that the virus came from bats at a meat market. In addition to conducting irresponsible research, the yellow niggers of the east also enjoy eating dead bats that they buy from unrefrigerated town square meat markets, the dead bats just hanging on meat hooks in the open air as if they were bunting, flowers or t-shirts. The bat soup theory, although hilarious, is probably inaccurate, as this is particular dish is from Palau (some shithole island near Australia). It is unlikely anyone living in a dump like Wuhan would have enough money to travel there.
A secondary version of this theory is that the virus was actually derived from pangolins (little animals with scales that the Chinese like to eat because apparently they cure erectile dysfunction), which were infected by bats (the original host) and then transferred the virus to humans.
A third version is something vague about it being dogs that originally ate the infected bats, not humans. The humans then got the virus from infected dogs, either by pet-to-owner transmission or by eating dogs (still done in China, albiet uncommon now).
The third one is unlikely because dogs aren't that likely to spread the virus, but you know what would work better? Cats, since they are much more susceptible to it.
All three of the worlds favourite countries, the US, Russia and China, have accused one another of creating COVID-19 as a bioweapon. Russia is less offensive than the US and China, probably because Russia is the only one of the three aforementioned countries that actually signed the Geneva convention prohibiting bioweapons.
If it's a US bioweapon, then America would have been more prepared for the outbreak (contrast that to the current situation of the US being the epicenter of infections) and wouldn't have wasted it on a shithole like Wuhan that nobody gave a shit about or had even heard of until it was being raped by Chinkypox. If China made the bioweapon, it would be bizarre to unleash it on its own people (although it must be said the Chink government doesn't give too many fucks about its peoples lives). One country which really stands in the spotlight is Israel, which seems to have had a vaccine going since before the outbreak even happened. (((Coincidence)))?
Due to recent studies by scientists, they have shown that some of the characteristics of bio-engineered life are not present in COVID-19, like the binding proteins on it's surface should be able to bind to any tissue, and it should also have some DNA from a certain species of bacteria. This makes it likely that it wasn't bio-engineered, especially since a smart scientist could have made it much more infectious and less noticeable, Oh wait.
5G is a ridiculous white elephant radio technology that is being promoted as some kind of "super internetz" and "essential for self-driving cars" but in reality, it's just a very expensive pile of garbage that is only useful for state surveillance and potentially giving anyone too close to the mast severe microwave burns.
There is a lulzy conspiracy theory that the symptoms of coronavirus are not caused by a virus at all, and that it is actually due to 5G technology being a form of population control. The fact in some countries the 5G network is being installed by Huawei adds fuel to this fire, and has caused some people to add fuel to real fires and burn 5G infrastructure to the fucking ground.
The theory that 5G causes COVID-19 symptoms is (probably) bullshit, but it should be promoted regardless due to lulz and due to 5G being tripe anyway and of no use to ordinary people.
Beginning in mid-2019, people began showing up in hospitals with lung injuries and pneumonia. This was largely blamed on Marijuana oil vapes containing vitamin E or other contaminants. However, the jewish kike media fabricated this crisis to cover up the early spread of COVID-19 in America. How do I know this you ask? My bro Derrick smokes THC vapes all the time and he is perfectly fine besides the fact he will be stuck working at Panera the rest of his life.
Don't worry, it's just the flu, bro
The Jewish Multimedia Network would like to tell you that the Coronavirus is just the flu, nothing more. So go out, go shopping, go to bars, lick doorknobs to your heart's content, and don't forget to eat a delicious bat soup, with a glass of bat piss on the side, unless you want to be called a sinophobe and a racist. Hating Chinese is bad for some reason, even though it is a common practice in every single country in Asia, and even in some parts of China. I guess sinophobia is reserved for Asians only.
Anyway, remember, that out of the 650 million infected by all influenza strains annually, 3 – 5 million people are hospitalized, and 250,000 – 646,000 die annually, but Coronavirus has had around 133,591,000+ Total cases, 24,187,000+ Active cases, 100,000+ Serious/Hospitalized cases (this number goes down cause the oldfags are dying faster than being infected) and 2,896,000+ Deaths. 2,896,000 is around 4.48 times the maximum annual flu deaths, and 11.59 times the minimum annual flu deaths. Alright, it's not harmless, it's actually quite bad. It hasn't exceeded the annual deaths yet, so it's bad compared to usual flu (250,000 on average, 646,000 on bad flu seasons), and if this continues, it may become worse than AIDS, but it's no black death shit, unless you want to do the math. You're gonna get it wrong unless you're Asian, and if you're Asian you're probably dead, or quarantined in some overcrowded city, so you have bigger problems to worry about (Ok, well, we may have had a miscalculation. Based on current rates, it's unlikely to get that bad anymore, but it still has basically fucked up this decade. If I were to give a more likely recalculation, the total death toll will be 3-4 million, and a total case count of 150-175 million. However, do note that because the people who check these stats can't account for everything, it's likely an order of magnitude higher for both stats, meaning a final death toll of 30-40 million, and a total case count of 1.5 to 1.75 billion, which would make it about as bad as AIDS).
Reddit has been going out of its way to tell people to stop panicking, STOP PANICKING IT'S JUST THE FLU BRO YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE INFACT THE FLU IS EVEN MORE DEADLIER IT KILLS MILLION SO DON'T WORRY OK? Actually you have a bigger chance of winning the lottery, getting struck by lightning and getting killed by a shark, all in the span of 5 minutes, than contracting the sniffles.
As the cases continue to grow every day, people are beginning to show signs of insanity from the spread (As shown in the 5g conspiracy theories), and I bet that when the death toll exceeds the number of people that die from Influenza (and I bet it will due to incompetence), everyone will finally go apeshit and cause even more spread.
Look at what happened when the restrictions started to loosen: The cases spiked, which shows that lockdown is somewhat effective, however, most people don't care about that, and want to be let out of their homes (I guess we're fucked, since all it takes is 1/6th of the population not listening to infect the rest).
Well well well, it's been a while since the numbers were last updated, so let me reupdate these, because not many people use this place, so I'm remaining to keep updates of numbers.
All major indices were swiftly infected by the oriental plague. Then, in a move unparalleled in stock market history, JP Owell, Head de la Fed bought the dip on all the unsuspecting boomers who sold the bottom. And with that, the economy was saved and globalists let out a collective "Hurrah!". Pretty soon people forgot anything even happened.
If you missed the ride up because you trusted Alex Jones as your financial advisor, we have the remedy for you and it will fix all your financial problems, along with much more.
The media has been doing it's best to calm people down over the pandemic. Once they figured out they wouldn't get any clicks by doing that they turned right back into their regular clickbait and fear-mongering to get those sweet sweet clicks. Some news sites didn't even last a week before starting to tell us that this flu is a big un and that it's here to stay.
Like always, best Korea had the right idea all along. Within the 2nd month of the outbreak, they locked down their borders and had all imported good sterilized. Just proving the point that the World Health Organization is more incompetent than fucking North Korea and it's Glorious leader. North Korea has also had the most effective way of stopping the disease from spreading by just shooting the infected and burning them for trying to infect its glorious country. Kim has also left Pyongyang due to his fears of the virus.
It is said that when he reached the new world, Cortez burned his ships so that his men would be more motivated. Likewise the Glorious Leader threatened "serious consequences" if the public health department did not contain Corona-chan. Being that they have lost control great lulz may ensue.
We don't have any numbers yet, and I'm not sure we will get them.
Infections started popping up in the UK within the 2nd month of the outbreak. Both Norf and Souf FC have been infected as a result of this the Uk keeps it's infected in cargo containers and they will never see the sun again. The Queen delivered an unbelievably generic and boring speech on the 5th of April. Hours later, UK's gr8 læder Boris Johnson had been admitted to hospital after suffering with the virus for a week. The clock is ticking...
New news, the U.K now has more deaths than Italy.
The US was early to gather some infected chinks in January and has also adopted the UK's solution of putting infected in cargo containers. But don't you worry the CDC has a cunning plan to make sure no one gets infected by placing people with confirmed cases in quarantine in a dense residential area. The location was deemed safe because the location was in between three golf courses. The CDC has also made other oopsies during the epidemic like releasing a patient that had tested positive in San Antonio. Currently, the virus is present in all 50 states. The current plan is to pretty much shut down the entire economy, which has had lulzy effects on the unemployment rate and economy in general. People are being told to stay inside and work, or jerk it to animal porn if you happen to be into that, or babies if you're a sick fuck.
On March 11 2020 The Donald dropped the ban hammer on Europe, banning most air traffic to and from the EU. He would later follow on March 20 2020 with Canada banning all recreational travel, but not trade, to Canada and back.
On March 26 2020, the U.S. managed to contract more cases than China, and later on, became the first country to achieve a high score of 100K infected, Good job.
On April 10 2020, the U.S. finally became number one in both cases/deaths, and to get over 500K infected, Real good job.
Somewhere around April 27 2020, the U.S. managed to get nearly 60K deaths, and over 1 million infected. Good.
Around May 27 2020, the United States of Ass got 100K deaths. Spectacular (I'm gonna run out of things to describe the usa, and what it links to).
Multiple American states have called up their National Guard forces to defeat the Kung Flu. This would raise serious questions about Martial law and other Jew activities, but the national guard is full of fat faggots.
The USA makes up 23.7% of total cases, and 19.7% of total deaths.
Being led by Princess Trudy, the Bizarro Trump who prides himself on how many refugees and illegal immigrants he can cram into his country regardless of criminal or health status, Canada basically would be fucked if 90% of the country wasn't a frozen wasteland where no disease can survive without first evolving Cold Resistance 2 and 3. Currently, there's about ~122,872 cases, but since this was enough to cancel hockey Canada's now hard at work on a vaccine so they can go back to watching overpaid figure-skaters fag it up on the ice over a rubber puck before all the ice melts and they have none of that left.
Unsurprisingly, President Blackface McDogfucker's wife ended up catching the virus thanks to his brilliant plan of letting a plane full of chinks into the country without testing them, just before he remembered to close the border.
Another person who caught the virus was actor Idris Elba, who visited Justin and his wife just days prior. Justin himself didn't catch it, making it obvious that Idris is the bull.
Owing to the massive incompetence of Italians, Corona-chan was silently spreading for months over the Northern Italy with no one giving a fuck until a couple of old farts kicked the bucket and went to the great VR Chatroom in the sky. After that, the guidos went apeshit in a myriad of delightfully lulzy ways. Firstly, the southerners used the fact that the north was the epicenter of the infection to spit and shit on the northerners by basically telling them to gtfo out of their hotels/resorts/whorehouses. Secondly, the populace started shitting bricks and bought up all the surgical masks (despite them doing shit against Corona, cause she a small bitch), with savvy businessmen ramping up the price for a single mask to dozens of euros which some retards naturally bought. Thirdly, the Italian government decided to put out the proverbial fire in the room by detonating the proverbial dam, locking up +300k citizens with police & the military in addition to throwing anyone who slipped out into jail for 5 months. Lastly, the rest of Europe basically declared all Italians Corona-lepers and banned them from entering their countries.
Unsurprisingly the wops couldn't save themselves and somehow have nearly 25 times as high of a death toll than fucking china. It usually takes a special type of retard to accomplish this, but this is Italy so this retardation is another day to them. As of 7 April 2021 there have been ~114,000 reapings in Italy by Corona Chan and the world is better off for it.
The death toll in the United States amounts to roughly 23.7 percent of all deaths. Contrast this with guido land which has roughly 2.7 percent of the world's cases and about 3.9 percent of the world's death toll. Also, they decided to stop letting anyone over 60 use a ventilator as they're pretty much fucked.
Norway has an extremely naive outlook on Kung-flu that when the second person who had the symptoms(an eye doctor on Norway`s biggest hospital), the chief of infection on the hospital thought it was a good idea to let him work with over 100 patients before taking the test. When we all thought that the hospitals had learned to be more careful 6 days later the same shit happened in Stavanger Hospital with a midwife. Over 100,677 persons are now with the Bat Aids because of their incompetent national health service (not as bad as Italy/Usa).
Every non-essential public utility has been closed down. School's out forever. No more sports. Everyone is hoarding toilet paper and milk.
More than 234,931 people are infected. CLOSE DOWN EVERYTHING.
Thankfully for all the autists of the world, LEGO can still export. But how long?
To prove they aren't afraid of no infidel virus, the Iranians began showing their faith in Allah by literally going to mosques and licking the doorknobs. This worked about as well as you would expect, as Iran became the only country in the region to have a massive outbreak, ending in mass graves, half their government getting infected, and even managing to infect Hassan Nasrallah all the way over in Lebanon while giving him more suicide bomb money.
It is currently unknown if the entirety of Iran's ruling class getting infected is just a (((coincidence))) or a Mossad job that's about as subtle as the Jeffrey Epstein "suicide". Either way, multiple religious and political figures around the Islamic world (Iran being chief among them) have vowed that they will rather die than use a vaccine made by "Kafirs", like the one that the Israelis were already working on months before the outbreak even started by complete (((coincidence))).
Nobody cares about spics but for the sake of history, we will detail how they utterly failed on this, as in every war they have waged for over three centuries.
Having Italy on flames at a two-hour travel distance, the Mexican government hoped to save the tourist season. Guatemalans would starve without drunk Brits to scam at their filthy beaches, since they are no good for work or invention. So, with the neighbors dying by the thousands they kept all airports open to Italian horny Erasmus, and also to illegal migrant niggers. (((Soros))) was very proud of you.
But now the real fun starts. With already calls from doctors and epidemiologists to FUCKING CLOSE EVERYTHING, they went on to celebrate 8th March, the bitches international day. A feminazi man-beating auto-da-fé went on. No surprise days later Ecuadorians were falling like flies on chloroform. In fact, half the Peruvian government has been infected, and the VP dodged the quarantine exposing everyone.
Lulzy also was that the Mexican government has been spewing BS and barefacedly lying on par with China or Iran. If you have ever worked with lettuce-picking wetbacks by California, you can check them here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa4PUGOVQlo
Some accuse the Nicaraguan government of deliberately engineering a boomercide, since the country's budget is bankrupt and depending on them being the sperm bitch of Germany in exchange for perma-bailouts. At any rate, this confirms the obvious: Spain is the pus-infected rectum of Africa.
Oh Brazil, how you managed to fuck up so hard that you are actually challenging the Jewnited States of Americunt is beyond me, maybe it has to do with you trying to imitate America, maybe it has to do with you being so computer illiterate that you had no idea of what was coming to tear you down, maybe it has to do with your president being so inane to science and climatology that he was more busy masturbating to burning the Amazon then helping his people, or maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the fact that your ancestors came from a country that has been failing for the past three centuries, and as such, you decided to repeat history.
Oh shit! The people that were supposed to prevent the virus from getting in were too fucking lazy to test every single person who was in the trade business coming into their country, and now there's 26,127 cases and 469 deaths.
Also, all their animals are fucked because of a double whammy of pandemic and tsunami.
Beaches closed, due to aids. Police don't like that shit, mate. There's 29,377 total cases and 909 deaths.
World Health Organization's response
Like usual a globalist organization tells us to wash our hands after we had a poo. The responsible thing would be to recommend countries to shut down down their borders to chinks and chill, but that would offend their Chinese masters, so they decided against it. Two Agents of the WHO were supposed to go to go to Wuhan and make assessments but they just fucked off to Bejing to drink tea and laugh about how much they were soaking America for their air travel.
It seemed that the World Health Organization would continue their deference to China while the US continued to pay the bill, but the US had the good foresight to elect a president who would actually hold them accountable for their role in the pandemic. Naturally the left is very upset because orange man bad, and the right still isn't tired of winning.
Famous People Who Have Gotten Corona
- Tom Hanks, career actor/Hollywood slave
- Rita Wilson, his assigned wife
- Steven Adams, Basketcock player
- Dwayne "Da Cock" Johnson, He cant even smell what he is cooking.
- Justin Trudeau's wife, and well-known fattie, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau
- Idris Elba (whüü?)
- Several Basketball-Americans, see this link
- Harvey Weinstein, Democrat👬, Fashion Designer, Professional Womanizer, and sufferer of Factitious disorder
- Rand Paul, Senator, Physician, Rock of Sanity, and the son of the great Oracle
- Prince Charles, Prince of Britain. First in line for the throne.
- Boris Johnson, current Prime Minister of Britbongistan.
- Rick May, voice actor for Soldier from Team Fortress 2, died from complications (You were good son, really good, maybe even the best).
- Kevin Stitt, Governor of Oklahoma.
- Herman Cain, The Pizza Nigga and the 2012 Republican Primary Candidate. Died from it.
- Donald Trump
Mike DeWine, Governor of Ohio.Never mind it was a false positive.
China's 3 Step Plan To Blame It All On USA
After trying to defeat the city-state of Hong Kong, and failing miserably at doing so, the CCP realized that there is an ongoing pandemic that is killing their child laborers and disrupting their complex organ harvesting scheme, they came up with a complex 3 step program for
containing the disease solving the issue covering shit up and blaming it on USA. The plan is as follows:
Step 1: Cover that shit up
You probably don't know that the first-ever case of Kung Flu was discovered on Nov 17 2019, and may have been looming around since August of 2019. Ever since the People in Power saw the first case, they started mobilizing the police and making sure none of this information leaves the fucking country. Think being shadow banned is bad? The Glorious Chinese police would smash your door, trash your computer to pieces, and give you a friendly face reconstruction surgery with whatever blunt item was available. Foreign journalists would often find themselves disappearing... Only to reappear later bruised up, and apologizing for spreading misinformation.
Even doctors trying to warn the outside world of this disease did not get a pass. The world found out about the pandemic when the neighboring countries started reporting people coughing blood and collapsing on the street.
This is the point the outbreak grew so out of control, that hospitals were overflowing and people were dying. No point covering it up, might as well go full out. China declared the entire area of Wuhan, to no use. The disease already spread in most of China, and neighboring countries. It was hurting China's most valued commodity: it's image. Of course, at this point, China reported a whopping 100 cases of infected. All are in order guys.
What followed next was a page straight out of Hitler's playbook. Massive quarantine camps were raised for people to --get healed-- die there. Many got treated and left the quarantine camps... As smoldering clouds of ashes. As rumors started circulating that nobody came out of the quarantine camps, the Chinese people had a small flash of intelligence and realized their government may possibly might not have their best interest at heart. These naughty thoughts were quickly cleansed with police batons and tear gas. As panic naturally escalated, citizens would often find themselves welded into their apartments.
Step 3: Fake Victory
At this point, China realized that most of its child laborers are dead, and it doesn't have any funds to fund its invasions on foreign countries. This is the point the propaganda machine had to roll back. You may hear that China is doing a really good job and has everything under control. Nope. Don't buy it. Don't go to China.
But it doesn't stop there. The whole reason the Western Governments were unprepared to deal with the disease was simply that China used its influence and money to co-opt the W.H.O. and spread fake information about the disease. Foolish politicians accepted China's propaganda without question, and what resulted was a world pandemic.
Show Your Support
Want to help spread awareness? Here are some fun wacky names to use for the virus:
- Chinese Coronavirus
- Wu Flu
- Coof Syndrome
- Bat AIDs
- Chink Virus
- Kung Flu
- Bubonic Plague 2: Electric Boogaloo
- Boomer Remover
- Fuck Italy
- And many more
Remember to go and show your support, hug a Chinaman, and drink your soup Americunt.
|Featured article March 16th thru 20th, 2020|
The Death and Return of ED
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