⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
A Cock Trapper is a type of whore most commonly found in redneck communities (ex: Alabama). They have been bred to find an unsuspecting male at a young age. They attempt to impregnate themselves in order to manipulate and control unsuspecting males and leech off of their hard earned money. Often they will cheat on their boyfriend, get pregnant by someone else, and then tell her boyfriend it's his baby . This differs from the common housewife in one fundamental way. They don't clean, cook, or work. They are freeloaders.
Common Cock Trapper phrases
- "I can't get pregnant!"
- "I'm on birth control."
- "Here, use this condom."
- "Can I see that condom we just used for a minute? Also, do you have a turkey baster I can borrow? It's for my mom!" (said when all normal means of trapping a man via pregnancy fail.)
- "Put down that gun baby, please! I'm sorry I lied about being on the pill! Don't shoo..." [boom]
- "......." ('cause her throat's been slit)
How to spot Cock Trappers
- She whistles through the gap in her teeth.
- She doesn't tell you she is pregnant until the third trimester.
- She thinks you are cheating on her if you leave the room.
- She tells everyone about how she was almost raped.
- Her mom is a cock trapper.
- She commonly hangs around other cock trappers.
- She commonly works for short periods of time at dead end jobs.
- She is allergic to cleaning supplies.
- She buys things with your money and leaves them on the floor.
- When she claims she is cleaning, she is on the internet showing the goods.
- Has registered already on http://www.babyuniverse.com before you have met her.
What to do about it
- Kill the bitch and her demon offspring.
- Blast her with piss.
- Fire works well, also.
What to do about it if you're a pussy
- Force feed her morning after pills.
- Forcibly hold her down and pour dangerous chemicals into her cunt so that it kills the sperm you put inside of her pussy.
- Don't believe her lies.
- Tell her that the baby will only make her fat(ter than she already is), and leave many pics of the Olsen twins laying around. The problem will then work itself out naturally.
- Punch her in the stomach/throw her down the stairs/force her to do a belly-flop onto a table lamp.
- Buy a pair of Doc Martens and initiate Cuntpunt.
- Tie her up and use a coat hanger to kill the unborn baby against her will if necessary.
- Change your name and move to Mexico.
- Kill the bitch.
- Buy a new penis- you don't want to keep your old one.
- Tape her phone call conversations to her cock trapper friends (99.999999% of the time she will brag to them about how she's gonna "get everything she can" out of you), then take the bitch to court.
- If all else fails, take it to Maury and call her a queen sized whore after being vindicated.
But the most important defense of them all is to get yourself a Vasectomy. This way not only will this prevent pregnancy, but you can also get the satisfaction of counter-pwning her by revealing that you got one right before she is about to force you into Marriage.
Epic Vasectomy story succeeds in obtaining lulz over a cock trapper. (This is how it's done, boys!)
Cock Trapper is part of a series on
Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.
Cock Trapper is part of a series on
Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.