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Christopher Hitchens (aka "a drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay") was an atheist, anti-religious troll and staunch supporter of the Iraq War. A constant victim of trying too hard, he claimed to have had homosexual intercourse with two high-ranking Conservative members of the British parliament, but that's a lie, because all autistic fags are virgins. Once Hitchens had discovered that he was a whopping 1/32nd Jewish he swiftly transformed from a moderate critic of Israel into a slobbering neocon zionist.
Hitchens' gradual decline from an occasionally drunk journalist and author who constantly ranted about shit nobody cares about into a politico-fawning, thoroughly sloshed faggotron was evident from even a cursory examination of his sizable body of work.
Having left The Nation, Hitchens began to serve drinks at Imperialist-apologist Western Elite Cafe, which is located in SOHO. In his spare time, he and fellow atheist Richard Dawkins would suck each other off in hotel rooms or circlejerk each other online.
In a stunning and unexpected twist of events, Christopher Hitchens was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, proving that bullshit is a carcinogenic. He later died on December 16th while in the process of undergoing a deathbed conversion to Christianity. Members of the New Atheist cult mourned their loss, while the few theists who actually knew this fuck existed rejoiced.
Discovering That God Doesn't Exist At Age 58
As Operation Oilraqi Faildumb descended into utter failure, Hitchens realized that being a contrarian only made you popular and wealthy if you said something that everybody agrees with already, i.e. not actually being a contrarian at all. He therefore set out to become a mega ultra super genius by pretending to be the first person in history to deny the existence of God as obviously atheists definitely did not exist for hundreds of years before this fat fuck came into existence.
Blatantly plagiarizing Richard Dawkins' book The God Delusion after it made money, Hitchens wrote his own anti-religion book, which reads as a sort of fanfic tribute to the original work except without any originality or a remote sense of intelligence. Hoardes of New Atheists mindlessly bought God Is Not Great and created a fad cult around their newest high priest, which over time has evolved to include a strong emphasis on
anti-Muslim bigotry righteous hatred of sand niggers. These stalkers are convinced that Hitchens loved them back, even though he tried very hard to disown them, commenting, "It’s something I shall have to resist if I survive, and even if I don’t – this very slightly cultish stuff starts to happen. You get letters from people you can hardly remember meeting: "I shall never forget the kindness..." Unbelievably trivial stuff, but they’ve made it into a thing in their minds." 
The fedora loving basement dwellers continued to rejoice in their faggotry as this man made his presence known to them and they proceeded to make him their object of worship and memorized every single thing he ever said while quoting the passages from his many books whenever possible while regularly attending their own churches to show their distaste for religion and spread the word of their order which is totally not hypocritical at all.
It was also around this time that Christopher was pwnt hard by George Galloway MP in a debate on the Iraq War, wherein Hitchens was exposed as a hypocrite, a sell out and too cowardly to fight in the war that he was promoting. The night ended with the audience on their feet cheering Galloway and booing Hitchens. After crying in a hotel room because he realized the Gallowayslap was more powerful than his limp-cock Hitchslap, Christopher decided he needed newer and more easy targets. Which brings us on to...
Due to his many flaws and inability to troll any human beings with actual intelligence, he was forced to target more weaker and simpler prey in the idiotic realm of television. In the following clips, he trolled women, Christfags, Bill Maher, Tariq Ali and himself:
RIP Hitchens (1949-2011)
He died of cancer on Dec 15, 2011 mainly due to his cannibalistic urges to eat irradiated Iraqi babies. Even less surprisingly, there are tons of videos made by Youtube atheists mourning over the death of their beloved atheist hero (some non-atheists mourned too en masse much to the annoyance of butthurt atheists LOL). As he was not mainstream enough, many theists and atheists who live outside of the internet's petty theist vs atheist squabble really did not give a fuck as many did not even know he existed, but those who were aware of the fat drunk's demise (such as British Moo-hammed Fans) were celebrating with glee over Hitchen's death which obviously caused butthurt to Hitchen's fans and mourners. So as usual, heated drama ensures over the death of one of the most controversial public intellectuals of this era.
The Final Word
—from one journalist to another
—Hitchens' hypocrisy at its finest.
The Young Contrarian.
Looking classy with pants full of his own shit.
After leaving The Nation, Hitchens changed his name and got a new job.
How do I failed satire?
Wow, that's a lot of hate.
- Ayaan Hirsi Ali christopher hitchens.jpg
The Hitch with his slave, Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
Evil Twin Brother
Christopher Hitchens is part of a series on
Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.
Christopher Hitchens is part of a series on
Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.
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