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    Chip Berlet

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    Heart monitor.gif
    This person is dying of terminal old. Please comfort them in their final moments by reminding them they will soon be a rotting corpse that nobody cares about.
    File:Chip Berlet.jpg
    "Walrus-breeding experiment gone terribly wrong"

    John Foster "Chip" Berlet is a fat communist attention whore who spends most of his life on the inferior wiki under the wing of his patron, ex-KGB agent and lizard queen SlimVirgin; where he currently edits under the sock account Chip.berlet. Despite appearances, any politically-motivated editing Chi(m)p did, or had done for him, on Wikipedia was ultimately less important than his most critical issue: the canonization of Chip Berlet. Despite being, at best, a semi-obscure political writer with a rather small corpus of work (and a big swollen corpse), Chip has the Wikipedians thinking he's a GOD.

    His Batman-like origins

    He is the byproduct of a freak accident circa 1949 at the Brooklyn Zoo in which a Marxist immigrant worker in charge of sweeping the shit out of the cages huffed a bad batch of magic mushrooms and accidentally impregnated a walrus. Nine months later little Chip was born, weighing in at a ripe 133 pounds.

    By age 16, Berlet had already ballooned to 379 lbs - a condition he blames to this day on Jerry Falwell, whose appearance on television induces him to eat compulsively. With a case of Ho-Hos in hand, Berlet departed his home at Polar-ama Adventureland to pursue a sociology degree at the University of Denver. Six months later he became a junkie, dropped out, and took a job as assistant consul general for Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha. To support his drug habit, he became a writer for High Times magazine where, like most addicts, he attempted to convert others, especially young and impressionable teenagers into using drugs and destroying their own lives.

    Berlet has spent most of his career attempting to refute the psychotic ramblings of Lyndon Larouche, which has led observers to speculate that Berlet in fact is a low-level polemicist in the service of the British Empire. He also likes to accuse various political figures of "anti-semitism", rightly or wrongly. Is he a seeekret Jew, trying to bring about the Heebpocalypse? No one knows.

    Chip Chip Cheerio!

    File:FAGBARS.JPG
    One of the few things Chimp and Lyndon LaRouche can agree on: their favorite snack!

    Chippy showed up on TOW in 2004 as "Cberlet", and started editing....his own biography. The history of that article is a laff-out-loud pukefest, with Left Cunts and Right Cunts screaming at/reverting each other. COI violation, no problem, soon he was making "fiends" right and left. Even got his "research partner" Dennis King to help him make Wikipedia "pure". One of their first acts was to get rid of Lyndon LaRouche stooge Herschelkrustofsky. Feeling hard and cunty after this massive BJ, they went after right-wing editor Nobs01 and rammed his anus like a goat, with the able help of their new Wiki-Buddy, SlimVirgin, and her pet Heeb fish-eater Jayjg and rubber strap-on Will Beback.

    Everything Chip and Gang did during the 2005-07 period was epically sodomistic and turd-smelly. Anyone Chip hated--bland conservatives, hateful conservatives, 9/11 conspiratists, Israel critics, People Chip Disliked Vaguely for Some Reason, and Daniel Brandt--attracted his shrieking stabbery. Brandt and Chip had cooperated on research in the past but became enemies long before Wikipedia existed, so it was inevitable that Berlet would try to use it to defame Brandt. Chip was like a planet-wide cunt vacuum, sucking up everyone who he personally disliked and crapping them out into ban-space with The Skinny One or Will B usually doing the "honors".

    This story is a great demonstration of a central tenet of Wikipedia editing: all that talk about "civility" and "assume good faith" and "cooperation" and "consensus" is dogshit. First you find administrators willing to support your lunatic crusade. You go to the article targets, edit as desired, and stab any objectors in the back, then in the front. And get them banned if they fight back. (Profit?)

    The thing to remember about Berlet is that he likes to consider himself an "expert" on everything, and being an "expert" gives him free license to quote himself as an "expert" on Wikipedia. Berlet came to Wikipedia at the invitation of SlimVirgin in 2004, and ever since he's been held up as the in-house "expert" of deference whenever Slimey and her cabal of Jayjg, Will Beback, and El C need somebody to justify their edits.

    File:Ihasabuckettoo.jpg
    His mother shows off the afterbirth

    To think of it another way, Chip is an insta-quote factory. If you are SlimVirgin and you need an "expert" quote to brand Noam Chomsky, or anyone else, as a racist/bigot/anti-semite/homophobe/carnivore/asshole, all you gotta do is ring up Chip Berlet and he will not only write "Noam Chomsky hates Jews" - he'll also publish it all over PoliticalResearchAssociates.com, a web page he owns. Voila! Instant "expert" quote. Jossi even created a separate article called "Chip Berlet bibliography" to act as a dumping ground for Chip's endless ravings about random subjects. This "great thinker" has managed to get a grand total of two books published, both on very obscure left-wing imprints.

    Except that Chip isn't really an expert on anything... except for daily calorie intake. That's Wikipedia's dirty little secret - their in house expert is really just another stupid angry fat guy with a keyboard. Forget PhDs or even college degrees, Berlet doesn't even have so much as a lawnmower mechanic's certification from ITT Tech. Despite his love of gorging on deep fried chicken wings at the University of Denver dormitory in the early 1970s, Berlet's drug habits and sedentary lifestyle effectively prevented him from from attending class. In other words, he couldn't fit through the front doorway anymore. So one day he waddled himself onto the campus freight elevator and flopped into a flatbed truck usually reserved for transporting orcas at the Denver Aquarium, and hitched a ride to the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

    Ragequit!

     
     
    "What is the point of reaching consensus with a group of single issue fanatic supporters of a raging antisemite, fascist and lunatic? Arbcom has made a decision and refuses to enforce it. This about the credibilty of an encyclopedia in the face of a concerted effort by crackpots and syncophants. Please appeal to Arbcom if you disagee. Been there--done that. It is not my problem if Arbcom, Wikipedia's board, and Wales are spineless cowards.--Cberlet (talk) 02:47, 23 July 2008 (UTC)"
     

     

    —--(sic)

    File:Aswr38.jpg
    Just another night at the Berlet household

    He gave up on WP and fucked off in one screaming lump of rage in 2008. Whatta pussy. And in May 2012, he quietly returned, under a different name (Chip.berlet), and went right back to the same old shit. Of course he demanded that Wikipedians fix his biography, and of course they did it to shut him up. Read the whole talkpage to get a good "balanced" idea of what Chippy thinks of his magical ass. And he also did what he'd been so good at before, attacking anyone he though wasn't "liberal enough", faggy enough, or "conspiratorial". Amazing the SPLC hadn't called him a "one-man hate group" by now. It makes sense, though....he doesn't hate others so much as he loves himself.

    Videos!

    There are numerous videos of Chip shooting his mouf off on YT. Sometimes he even removes the Twinkies to say something. The first one is more than three hours long and the others are also over an hour so take your meds now. Much boredom ahead.


    See also

    External links

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