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    Cards Against Humanity

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    Info non-talk.png Max Temkin holds "charity" drives and then gives to donation money to the Wikimedia Foundation so that they will keep any mention of his rape accusations and tranny-bashing out of his Wikipedia article. You can help by adding sourced material to his Wikpedia page that complies with their referencing guidelines.
    Yeah, learn to box, you downie looking midget motherfucker. That'll save you.

    Cards Against Humanity is, or at least was, a lulzy card game that was basically the tabletop version of Encyclopedia Dramatica, where you would match regular question to random answers and create jokes about fags, niggers, trannies, kikes, japs, dykes, chinks, AIDS, whores, fat whores and the holocaust.

    Later, all fun was officially banned after one of the creators befriended Zoe Quinn, became a full-on social justice faggot and started removing rape jokes, removing tranny jokes, removing offensive jokes (wasn't that the whole point of the game?) and replacing them with "non-triggering" substitutes, things like "White Privilege" and old memes. Finally, for his encore, he implicitly admitted to a rape he didn't commit because feminism.

    The Good/lulz Era

    The game was originally created by eight fat faggots in a bottom-rung college that couldn't get laid so they stayed at home and played card games with each other while licking on each others balls.

    The game's rules were simple: Apples to Apples, but edgy.
    Seriously, that's it. They just stole the entire concept from another game and replaced some of the content. One player pulls a black question card, everyone else pulls a white answer card, and whoever has the funniest answer gets an "Awesome Point". Whoever has the most "Awesome Points" wins. The game also encourages you to read the answer dramatically, because nothing says "fun" like a bunch of nerds sitting at home on a Saturday night and trying too hard to be funny by talking in random, stupid voices.

    After offering anyone who wants to a link to download a list of questions and answers to cut up and use yourself, the creators finally decided to make a KickStarter for the game so people would stop nagging them about being too lazy to print shit out and cut it up with a pair of scissors themselves. The KickStarter was a success, and after receiving four times the money they are asking for (which wasn't that much), they "rewarded" their fans by adding 50 new cards (!!!!) Which must have taken them all of five minutes during some drunken afternoon.

    X-mas Trolling with Literal Shit

    File:CAH bullshit.jpg
    Still better than the actual game

    On Christmas, the creator decided to dispense some moralfaggetry in the from of irl trolling.

    Unhappy with the money they were making during black friday, the retards decided to make people stop buying it in protest. First they tried to hike up the price by $5, and when that didn't work, the next year they replaced the game with something called "Bullshit" which was a literal box of dried shit.

    30,000 people bought it.

    The anti-capitalist sentiment seems a bit disingenuous from someone who had repeatedly asked for thousands of dollars to add a handful of stupid, one word answers to the game that require zero effort or thought. It's a lot more likely that they raised the price by $5 because it was black friday and they just wanted to make more money, and next year's shit gag was a publicity stunt. Few people noticed the difference, because at that point, CAH was shit already.

    Lulzy Examples

    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    The post lulz era: Max Temkin Goes SJW

    But all good things must end and Max Temkin (who is either the head creator or just acts as if he is) became an SJW and started changing his game about offending people to be less offensive.

    Temkin Admits to a Rape he Didn't Commit for Feminism

    As Temkin was going full SJW, in a stroke of irony, he was accused of rape by some lying, mattress girl cunt.

    Some whore named "Magz", seeing how much money he was making from his shitty game, posted on her facebook about her friend being raped by Temkin when they were together in college. The friend/alleged rape victim soon verified the claims by making a post on her own facebook that says Temkin raped her 8 years ago and then deleted it to hide her identity (you'll soon see why) and copying the post to a newly made tumblr blog ArchiveToday-favicon.png(archive). In it she tries to excuse the fact she is only mentioning it now, almost a decade later, by making up some shit about being traumatized, in an attempt to hide the fact that she didn't make fake rape accusations about him sooner because back then he had no money for her to blackmail. She continued by announcing her new tumblr will act as a resource for other lying feminist blackmailers rape victims (but then abandoning it after four posts when she didn't get the attention she wanted... what will those poor rape victims do now?) and creating a twitter account that she used to contact celebrities and organizations that support or work with Temkin and call him a rapist while trying to get them to cut their ties with him, all in an attempt to scare him into paying her off.

    The post was responded to with 100% credulity by all the usual radfem suspects, including: Arthur Chu on "The Daily Beast", Gawker, Patricia Hernandez on Kotaku, Nathan Grayson on "RockPaperShotgun", Tyler Malka allowing threads on the topic on NeoGAF, Jezebel and TheMarySue, who all treated the accusation as proof, hid the accuser's identity (a courtesy they don't extend to men) and, in the case of Hernandez, even suggested that Temkin doesn't try to defend himself even if he's innocent because it might make feminism look bad worse.

    Temkin, amazingly, did just that by writing a long post ArchiveToday-favicon.png(archive), first denying the accusation, but then also going on to defend the accuser and talk about "rape culture" while saying he may have "crossed her boundaries"/"caused her trauma" and treating it as anything other than a scam. The post also includes a subtle threat that he had already talked about this to his lawyer who told him that he can sue her (but won't), and a mention of the fact he "broke up" with her by fucking her and then never calling her back (but subtly, so he still looks like a feminist), implying she's doing this because she's butthurt about it. Furthermore, he says that he never actually had sex with her, but later in that same post refers to their relationship as a "hookup". So he's either a liar or a beta who couldn't score even with the town slut.

    The post ends with him bragging about how he removed the rape jokes from the game years ago and then saying he will be at the GaymerX convention that week (Gaymerx is a pro-faggot gaming thing known for banning homos if they don't agree with the organizer's political views) and needs a hug... probably in a attempt to lure more people close enough for him to rape them.

    CAH tiny temkin.png
    He's that dwarf in the middle. He sure looks like someone who'd need rape to ever have sex

    The Zoe Quinn Connection

    What SJW clusterfuck would be complete without resident prostitute Zoe Quinn?

    When we said that Max wrote a post about rape culture, what we should have said was that Template:Reddit ArchiveToday-favicon.png(archive). Yes, the passionate, heartfelt triad about his support of feminism was actually written for him by Quinn who wanted his money... You see, Temkin was donating large sums of money to her fraudulent "Rebel GameJam", and if he couldn't get over these PR hurdles, she would have had to refuse it. For those who are unaware, "Rebel GameJam" is a scam set up by Quinn after intentionally sabotaging a charity game jam and then setting this up as an "alternative" that she never intended to complete and the donations to which went directly into her personal account.

    As soon as the "reporters" (half of whom Quinn probably slept with and the other half we already know she definitely slept with) became aware of Quinn's involvement, they dropped the story and acted like it never happened. The great irony of the situation was the stark contrast of their coverage of Quinn's own accusations, during which they ignored and demanded proof while NeoGAF banned threads about the topic due to claims of people's sexual lives being irrelevant. Kotaku's Patricia Hernandez even went so far as to write a followup, vindicating Temkin, in which she retracts almost everything she said. This after initially saying that rape accusations don't require proof because an accuser is an eye witness and is therefore proof. This is another rule that did not apply when she was writing about Zoe, probably because Patricia is a known pimpstress that trades sex with her tenants for good reviews and Zoe had to have slept with her too back they were roommates.

    General Corruption
    File:CAH Samurai.png
    This looks like quality...

    Of course, rubbing elbow with SJW indies comes with its own perks and Temkin n' Co. are deeply involved with all the usual suspects of GamerGate bullshit.

    Temkin has a sad excuse for a magazine and makes various games like CAH and HvZ that can be made and played at home for free and, despite constantly insisting he wants these games to remain free, sells merchandise and has KickStarter campaigns to make sellable versions for every single one. This hypocrite aside, Temkin is also involved in making a shitty videogame. The game is called "Samurai Gunn" and, like all indie games, it's an outdated and pixilated pile of crap that tries to hide the fact its creators can't draw or program by pretending to be intentionally retro. In spite of this, it won awards at IGF and Fantastic Arcade and has received positive reviews from GiantBomb's Patrick Klepek (he's at Kotaku now) and Venus Patrol's Brandon Boyer. Incidentally, Boyer runs IGF and FA as well as IndieCade. Temkin hasn't won anything at IndieCade (yet), but he has been a judge there and IndiCade and its other staff members have promoted both CAH and Samurai Gunn.

    If you're into this GamerGate bullshit then you already know who all these people, sites and venues are and what being associated with them means. If you're not into GamerGate, congratulations on not being a loser.

    No More Tranny ANY Jokes

    But the fun doesn't stop there! Or, should I say, that is exactly where the fun stops?

    At one point, some tranny faggot took offense at a card labeled "A Passable Transvestite" and, in an act of unadulterated sperg, posted a picture ArchiveToday-favicon.png(archive) on tumblr of himself burning the offending piece of paper with the caption "DEATH TO TRANSPHOBIA", even though cross-dressers aren't transsexual (I guess even the faggots themselves can't tell each other apart).

    The internet was again flooded by feminist pretend-news sites like BuzzFeed and others so unimportant that we don't have an article about them, accusing Temkin of "Transphobia". Temkin lazily responded by saying that card had already been removed from the deck, and later by elaborating and saying that, since the initial launch, HE HAS ALREADY REMOVED HALF THE CARDS THAT WERE IN THE GAME and that he and the rest of the homos are committed to "Punching up instead of down". In case you don't know, "punching up/down" is the SJW concept that you are not allowed to make fun of faggots and niggers no matter what they do. That is why, for example, when Charlie Hebdo happened, SJW sites rejoiced that the journalists died because they were "punching down" by commenting on the fact that the muslims like to kill people, who then killed them.
    Mocking their grieving families was considered "Punching up".

    It is unclear at what state the current CAH deck is, but rumors say it still has a lot of jew jokes because Temkin is an antisemite (or because even SJW know that jews are privileged because they rule the world, making this "punching up"). We have no way to confirm this because we have no intention of spending money on the shitty version of this game, and neither should you. Especially because the original, good version of the game that was up online before they started selling it and then fagged it up is still right there, ArchiveToday-favicon.png(archive) complete with all the rape and tranny jokes you could want if you use the earliest version archived on the Wayback Machine (the one we linked). Or you could just make it yourself with some fucking crayons. In any case, why would you pay money for something you can get for free with a printer and a pair of scissors? As Max's holiday pranks proved, he'd support you since he's so anti-capitalist.

    In a final act of hilariously sad irony, they replaced all the good cards with answers like: “heteronormativity,” “the patriarchy” and “white privilege". At the moment, just like in the case of Joss Whedon, the SJWs have seen what a spineless, weak willed individual Max Temkin is and continue to attack him, knowing they can control him into making more concessions, fighting harder to placate them and (most importantly) giving them more of his hard earned money.

    Donations to the Wikimedia Foundation

    In keeping with the Jewish tradition of tactfully making donations anonymously, the game creators made no big deal about donating $70,000 to the Wikimedia Foundation, a scam charity that raked in $42 million in donations that year. Their selfless act is represented accurately by this video, uploaded by the suckers themselves. The laughs of The Wikipedia Jews could be heard around the world.

    See Also

    What CaH is like right now... thought we were kidding?

    External Links

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    Surprise Sex

    Forms of Rape

    Almost raped 💔 Asking for it 💔 Ass Rape 💔 Baby Rape 💔 Cyberrape 💔 Date Rape 💔 Earrape 💔 Fart rape 💔 Gay Rape 💔 Prison Rape

    Rapey Stuff

    Battle Raper 💔 Netorare 💔 Rape Checklist 💔 Rape Clock 💔 Rape culture 💔 Rape dollars 💔 Raped Statistics 💔 Rape Kit 💔 RapeLay 💔 rape.sh 💔 RapeX 💔 Raping Little Suzy 💔 Sharking 💔 You Gonna Get Raped

    [No means no!Moar ræp plox!]

    Featured article June 8 and 9, 2015
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