Call of Duty

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The rotting tumor of the videogame industry

Incredible writing actually tells you when to feel sad.
The MP40 was the service rifle of the American military during WWII.

GENERIC FPS, also known as 'Call of Duty' or 'Children at Daycare', is a FPS series of shovelware vidya games released every year just before the Christmas season for that highly coveted 13-year-old boy demographic and their pocket money. This series alone has destroyed the future of gaming for decades to come.

The games

A retrospective

Often shortened to CoD, a type of fish. There are multiple Call of Duty games in the series, even ones that actually used to be GOOD. Wow, who knew, right? Which were you looking for?

  • Call of Duty: Finest Hour - First console game, but actually managed to be awesome.
  • Call of Duty: World at War - The last COD game that was like the other old ones, except with overpowered tanks and the most over the top overpowered weapon in FPS history, the MP40. Only good bit was that it had Nazi zombies in it.
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops - Took the story in a different direction by putting everything in the 60s, "innovated" the zombie mode by completely overblowing it with DLC and had the worst PC port of all time.
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops III - Oh god they made another one?! This time it's an even more edgy cyberpunk shooter with the most cartoonish and immature multiplayer mode of any CoD to date.
  • Call of Duty: WWII - Oh fuck here we go again. Welcome back to 2003. World War II for the millionth time, storm that fucking beach for the billionth time, kill some Nazis for the trillionth time, blow shit up for the quadrillionth time.
  • Call of Duty Black Ops IIII - Take everything you hated about Black Ops III, remove the jetpacks and change a whole bunch of shit nobody asked for. You get another "Battle Royale" cash-grab instead of a campaign this time. It's like they somehow managed to put less effort into this game than the last one.
  • Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019) - IT'S BACK! The series that ruined FPS games forever is rebooted for new generation with a brand spanking new engine and all of the same familiar bullshit.


A typical Call of Duty gamer.

Call of Duty players are known as:

  • Bratty and whiny 13 year old shitheads.
  • Video game addicts living in filthy homes.
  • Azns (Call of Duty Online Only).
  • Rich adults, who try to show others that they are a normal average person.
  • Niggers with nothing better to do, aside from looting, chomping down on KFC chickinz, getting quad bypasses and stealing bikes.
  • Bitchy gamergurlz, trying to show their Friends/the Public that they are hardcore gamers but, but in reality are terrible noobs and feminist attention whores.
  • Challenged little kid wannabe soldiers who think everything they see in these games is 100% accurate and realistic, thus making them experts on military technology, tactics, weapons and survival situations. They will then proceed to vomit all the unrealistic bullshit they see all over the Internet as if it's fact.
  • Money-whoring YouTube bloggers who release absolutely pointless videos. For example: Play guides for weapons which are totally broken and overpowered and can kill everything in under a second. Yet they make "HOW TO PLAY" videos, then compare THAT GUN with another gun in the game in a NEW VIDEO and still get a million fucking views! We ain't gonna colonize the universe in the near future, that's for sure.

Average Call of Duty players

YouTube shit

Alternate names for Call of Duty

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Call of Duty: World at War Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Call of Duty: Black Ops Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 Call of Duty: Ghosts Call of Duty: Online Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare Call of Duty: Black Ops 3

The game that has caused the downfall of decades of gaming history in less than 3 years.

Spray of Pray 4: Machine Gun

Grenade of Grenade 4: Grenade Grenade

Cock of Duty 4: Modern Faggotry

Call of Arab-extinction

Cock off Doody 4: Modirn GayFuckStupid (Modirn Wurfurr)

Beloved for its broken MP40 and neverending Treyarchian violence fetish.

Nazi of Duty: Just Use the MP40

MP40s of Juggernauts: More AIDS than Blackistan

Cock of MP40: Niggernauts of AIDS

Call of the ethnic Kraut cleansing

Jap burn simulator 2008

The game that made killstreak variants popular and ruined the future of dedicated multiplayer servers.

Camp of Camp: Modern Air-Support 2

Camp of Camp: Lightweight Commando Pro 2

Camp of Camp: Noob Tube 2

Ramierez of Ramierez: What The Fuck Was IW Thinking 2

Quick SCOPEZZZ of Intervention: Sleight of Hand Pro 2

Modern Crapfare 2

Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare 2

Underage for Duty: Prepubescent Faggots 2

Call Of Duty: Money Waste 2

Modern Warfare 2: Electric Boogaloo

Modded Whorefare 2

Modern Fuckfare 2

Modern Failure 2

A game that ran so poorly on the PC that you had a better chance of running Crysis on ultra. Also the weapons of choice were terrible as fuck and the multiplayer was so terrible balanced that it made Modern Warfare 2 look like Chess

Cock Of Booty: Black Cocks

Carl of Duty: Black Cops

Call of Duty: Drop Shops

FAMAS of Duty: AK74u Ops

Lag of Lag: Lost Connection to Host Ops

Cock of Douches: Fecal Matter Ops

Carl on Duty: Black Cops

Cock-a-Booty: Nigger Ops

Cowadooty:Crap Ops

There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this game, nothing. It's god awful boring and to this day anyone who plays the game uses the ACR 6.8 or the MP7A1. Seriously.

God help Me: IW remade the same shit 3 times

Cunt of Diarrhea: Modem Whorefail Threesome

I've ran out of nigger jokes by now, seriously. This game has nothing special to it except forced choices and a absolutely optional "strategy" mode. The only reason they built this shit in was for marketing purposes. The multiplayer is the same shit as always. Except, now Gayarch went COD4 on it. Ghosts is coming up next, god help us all.

Black Cocks 2:Electric Boogaloo

Cowadooty:Crap Ops 2:Electric Boogaloo

Cunt of Booty:Nigger Ops 2

Carl on Duty: Black Cops 2: Electric Boogaloo

Call of LMG: SMG Ops 2

Camp of Duty: Target Finder LMG 2

Carl on Duty: MSMC Ops 2

Crap Ops 2

Boo, Ghosts, so spooky.

Call Of Duty: Chink Warfare


Everyone asked for a new WW2 CoD, and this is what Activision comes up with. Why is this even a thing? And LOL PC Version is completely fucked, so much for PC Master Race.

... and YOU can even come up with more, unoriginal and unfunny names on your own time (which you seem to have a lot of, because, you know, no friends.)!


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See also

If you are still considering to buy this game after all the fail the others have been, then may I suggest you read these scholarly Encyclopedia Dramatica articles below.

External links

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