A very nice little announcement
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Buy A Dog
[Gas the...]
- Ban fucking everyone
- Buy a dog
- Complete rewrite
- Delete fucking everything
- Deleting your LiveJournal
- Deleting your Youtube Videos
- Done with ED
- Flounce
- Holocaust
- Internet Kill Switch
- It was a social experiment
- KILL IT WITH FIRE
- Mass Murder
- Never drinking again
- Nibiru/Planet Nine
- Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking
- Quitting IRC forever
- Ragequit
- Sorry
- Suicide (see also An Hero)
- Wikicide (Wikibreak)
- Unsubscribing
- X FUCKING Y
—Phil Shuman, on how Anonymous took steps to protect herself from Anonymous. Oh, the irony! | ||
—Anonymous | ||
Buy A Dog is a meme that originated some time ago when Faux News ran an investigation on the growing threat of hackers on steroids. The propaganda flick relayed the horrifying tale of a basement dwelling mama's boy named Alex Wuori. His MySpace had been thoroughly hacked and covered with pictures of gay secks, causing his imaginary girlfriend to leave him. He also claimed that messages were left on his mom's answering machine threatening to slit his emo throat. He probably left them himself.
In typical over-the-top fashion, his mother immediately did what any reasonable person would do: she purchased a new security system for her entire house, put a tracer on their phone line, closed the curtains, and finally...she BOUGHT A FUCKING DOG.
This may seem completely fucktarded, but it is well known to IT security experts that /b/ is actually run by cats and that Longcat is the overlord of /b/ and over 9,000 times longer than mrfetch.
Hawt Tips
- Dogs are the third hardest substance known to man, next to Dragonforce, and, of course, My Chemical Romance.
- Mathematical fact: Fear + Ignorance + series of tubes + ???? =
Siberian huskyPROFIT!. - Closing your curtains is the #1 way to protect yourself from Anonymous Hackers. However, they may hack their way through your firewall-curtains.
- For optimum protection, wrap said dog around curtains.
It should be noted, however, that several very skilled hackers can bypass security machines through use of wire cutters and steroids. Pennies work too. Meanwhile many others are busy dissecting dogs and consulting with Michael Vick Ron Mexico in an attempt to find creative ways around a dog. So far, all efforts have led to failure.
If potential victims cannot buy a dog, then a Dog Curtain is fine too. A cat, however, will actively work against you.
NEWSBREAK: It has recently been confirmed that dogs are weak against CLIFFS.
JEWZ YOU CAN UZE: Some Anons carry chocolate with them due to the myth that it causes a Falcon Punch like effect on dog's hearts. It's baker's chocolate not the normal kind. Go find yourself a cakesmith if there are no cliffs nearby.
OMG THE DOG IS A LIE!!1
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE FRONTLINES: Working around the clock to meet the February 10th deadlines, /b/tard scientists have successfully created the prototype for the Dog-Proof Anon. No force in the universe can stop us now. Except for fail caused by newfags in Guy Fawkes masks.
Trivia
- How did SlimVirgin defend herself against feared troll, Blu Aardvark? She bought a dog; ironically, it was from Blu Aardvark.
- The gaiafag developers banned Pedobear to make sure Anonymous doesn't come and slit their throats. They're going to buy fucking dogs!
- The dogs bollocks is slang in the UK for AWESOME
Gallery
- Hotdiggetydog.jpg
Eat dog. Become immortal.
- Buyadog.jpg
Dogs. Making you buy them since 2007.
Dog promotional poster by Ollie.
- Dog.png
Anonymous trembles.
Michael VickRon Mexico,hashad several a dogs.- Dogs.png
Anonymous shits bricks
Cute? I don't think so.
- Smartpitbull.jpg
Anonymous begs for mercy in the face of a dog with a laser.
Fucking dogs.
- Dogmongler.jpg
Dogmongler - for one - is not afraid.
- Getadog.jpg
Do it nao.
Effective against ghey intruders.
dog+curtains+van...you nevar thawt you'd say it.
- Hackerdogs.jpg
Will track you down like a Chris Hansen on Pedobear's arse.
- Deaddog.jpg
This dog cannot be bought.
Dog Curtains...the only firewall for steroidal hackers.
- Dobo.jpg
A Doberman may be a good choice.
- DogPerson.jpg
LAPD and Anon.
- Showerail.jpg
This will help you keep your family safe.
- Curtains-defense.jpg
Anon will NEVARR attempt to haxx0r you or detonate a van close to you if you have curtains, especially if used in combination with a dog.
- Anonydog.jpg
Anonymous. We'll make you buy a dog.
Dogs may screw you up, though. Well, hum.
- Staredog.jpg
This dog poses little threat.
- OHSNAPVICK.JPG
Dogs don't like Michael Vick.
- Buy a Dog Tapestry.PNG
Dogs have held back terrorists for hundreds of years.
- Moark9.jpg
Moar K9!
- Firedog-hat.jpg
Wearing a Firedog hat will not help you.
Finally, a solution!
- NewsBuyaDog.PNG
Looking to buy a dog?
- Dogcurtains.jpg
Moar dogcurtains.
- Cupcakedog.jpg
Fry a dog
- OscarDeathCat.jpg
- PuppiesEatPig.jpg
Buy a dog: cure swine flu.
- Dog.jpg
Adorable isn't he?
- Beagle4rm.jpg
Who needs airmail?
See Also
External Links
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Buy A Dog is part of a series on Fox News [Over To You] |
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Buy A Dog is part of a series on |
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Buy A Dog is part of a series on |
