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Æ Roadmap

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    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot

    Burger King

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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    Beware, coward.

    The /b/urger King is a deranged psychopath with a plastic face who runs around hell bent on terrorizing the Burger populace. It is speculated that he took control of the Burger underground by viciously murdering long-time crime boss The Hamburglar with nothing but a spork and a smile. Meat got BBQ´d, not fried - hence the saying "get toasted". He made him eat his own fucking head while his wife watched, sobbing, who then proceeded to help broil the King's meat at the local BK. The video can still be seen for $3.95 if you order a #19 off the bitchin' value menu. That's fuckin' cold blooded seven fourteen. They should charge at least $9.99 for that kind of shit. It's worth it. He's so fucking hardcore the fags at EA decided to give him a spot in one of their Fight Night games, where he gets to beat niggers up. SHIT IS SO FUCKING CASH.

    About The King

    The inevitable escalation of corporate rivalry.

    He is known for shouting his catchphrase at the top of his Burger lungs in order to scare all of the little Burger children in the little Burger villages. The words that seem to echo into the night are "Where is your God now?" It is rumored that the Burger King is a Power Bottom, Illogicopedia's all about the motherfuckin' Clam, and don't you fucking forget it!! His favorite pastime is sneaking into other men's hotel rooms at night and penetrating them in their sleep.

    Perhaps out of fear, the restaurants named after Burger King are over 9,000 times cleaner than your average McDonald's. Burger King burgers are better than McDonald's burgers, because that's how Burger King likes it, and nobody's going to go toe-to-toe with Burger King. Karl Rove is a possible exception, but this has not yet been tested. He is in a current power struggle against Ronald McDonald with mass casualties. Those who are unlucky to get caught between the two are never seen again.

    Theme song

    Tourist guy making a pit stop.

    We're making... a killing... inside the Burger King
    When you step inside the doorway, we start the murdering
    We'll bash you, we'll hack you, we'll grind you up for meat
    Don't tell us it's immoral, it's what you came to eat
    It's best to use the drive thru, it's faster and it's safe
    And these fresh char-broiled burgers are the best you ever ate!

    The King delivers

    The King's run for the Presidency


    By Royal appointment... About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    See also

    External links

    Burger King
    is part of a series on
    Food and Drink

    [BleurghOm Nom Nom]

    £€ Burger King is a part of a series on Money
    150px Companies

    AdFlyAdobeAmazonAppleAT&TBDICBellBitcoinBurger KingCelestial ToystoreComcastDisneyDuckDuckGoeBayFox NewsGNWTGoogleHappy Madison ProductionsIBMIKEAMicrosoftMcDonald'sMTVNew Media RockstarsNintendoNovellOracle CorporationPatreonPayPalSonySun MicrosystemsT-MobileVerizonViacomWal-MartWikiaYahooYouTube


    Steve ChenLyor CohenBill GatesChad HurleyL. Ron JeremySteve JobsMario LaudicinaBernie MadoffLarry SangerMartin ShkreliHal TurnerJimbo Wales

    Ideology / Politics

    Bailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie


    AdvertisingBitcoinBriberyExtreme AdvertisingBilly MaysPorn AdvertisementsShamwowSpamSubservient ChickenWinnebago ManGeorge Zimmer


    419 Nigerian Email ScamsThe Dot.Com BubbleEconomistEconomyForeign GirlfriendInternet moneyJew GoldMoneyPoorProfitRape dollarsScientologyToilet Paper Hoarding

    Portal icon television.gif

    Burger King is part of a series on


    Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.