Breda Highschool Massacre
|This article is entirely factual and serves as a documentation.|
On Friday March 13th, 2009, an eighteen-year-old Dutch /b/tard tried his first attempts at trolling the interwebs. He made a new thread on 4Chan's /b/, claiming that he was going to shoot some people dead at school the next day. Somehow, however, his post came under attention of the serious internetters on Twitter. They immediately contacted the Old Media, and these, smelling some delicious drama to exploit, called the Dutch police. Along with the FBI they pestered Moot until he gave up the dox of our young internet hero. Mere hours later, at 4 A.M. European time, the Dutchfag got pulled from his bed and was offered a comfortable seat in the 4Chan Partyvan.
—The poor fag wouldn't even make it to school...
The Media Shitstorm kicks in
—If this man would have been taken seriously, it would have saved the Dutch and American authorities tens of thousands of dollars.
Due to some major events that had been happening the same week in northwestern Europe, including a huge highschool massacre in Germany, and a large terrorism scare in Amsterdam, our young raider's threat was taken extremely seriously. The case was flooded all over tv, expensive psychoanalysts were put on to the case, the police searched his house, the local alarm warning was raised to the second highest possible (that's only one down from total war!), the military was alerted, and the mayor of Breda planned on closing all schools and child-daycare-centres for that day. After his arrest the poor guy caved in, and immediately denied everything, claiming he only did it for the lulz. Of course, it was pretty much his own fault. He had been schooled in ICT, but didn't even know how to get away from the Feds.
On 16 March, the Dutch police decided to show that they wouldn't be fucked with, and they reported that our troll will be held in custody for at least 2 weeks longer, possibly facing a prison sentence of up to three years. On the 26th, however, the boy was released on the pretence that would help the police in a personality investigation. By then the kid had been in jail for 2 weeks, however, and if that didn't fuck up his life, the scars from Bubba probably did. It is unsure if our troll was forced to pay for the expenses incurred.
A challenger appears
On 15 March, another Dutchfag decided to add to the lulz. From behind seven proxies, he posted the following message on 4Chan:
Again, the Dutch police couldn't ignore this serious threat. This time, however, it was impossible to V& the guy, as he actually did something to cover his footprints. The police closed several schools in the city of Rotterdam (holding over a million inhabitants), and made sure there was police surveillance all one of the city's largest schools, the Grafisch Lyceum Rotterdam. Of course, there was noone shot, and the retards at the GLR had a field day.
Although the Dutch /b/tards are starting to get sick of this shit, another young CS III student decided to join the party late, and posted another death-threat on /b/. He said he was going to beat Tim's highscore this time. Actually the guy was already arrested on Friday March 13th, but the police didn't bring the news out untill next Friday, because they were scared it would become a hype.
Advice Dog saying sum shit
Advice Dog saying some moar shit
Advice Dog won't shut up
Pic of the police surveillance in Rotterdam.
- Trey Burba - Similar plot, different /b/tard.
- Tim Kretschmer - Similar plot, different outcome.
- Cho Seung-Hui
- Report on EenVandaag.
- Belgian tv report.
- Dutch news report.
- Report informing the troll will be held for at least 2 more weeks.
- Report about his release
Links concerning the first copycat
Grafisch Lyceum Rotterdam
Links concerning the second copycat
Maerlant Lyceum Den Haag
Breda Highschool Massacre is part of a series on