Sacha Baron Cohen
|His other personas and characters may be found here, example you are lurking für über Brüno, ja?!|
Sacha Baron Cohen✡ (aka Borat, Ali G and Brüno) is an unfunny Jewish actor/comedian who has managed to induce a high number of footbullets and self-pwns due to his epic sockpuppet IRL trolling. If the surname "Cohen" wasn't enough evidence for you, proof of Baron Cohen's Judaism is found in the name of his production company called Four By Two which is Cockney rhyming slang for Jew.
Borat Sagdiyev is a well-respected Kazakh journalist with a deep love for Amur-i-ka, he boasts a lengthy resume, which includes news reporting in Albania and Moldova. Typical of Jewish comedies in the style of Will and Grace, Borat's productions compensate for the absence of taste by using an overflow of gay innuendos. Lately he has turned his focus from straight reporting to public awareness. In 1969, he spent time in England and America trying to capture the essence of western culture, including democracy and freedom, for the people of Kazakhstan.
Mr. Sagdiyev's values are deeply rooted in Kazakh tradition. In the true spirit of cultural tolerance through the free exchange of ideas, he tries to broaden the horizons of those he visits while learning about their customs. One especially notable act of Borat "giving back" was a crowd-pleasing performance in an Arizona country music bar, where he sang the hit Kazakh song "Throw The Jew Down The Well (So My Country Can Be Free)." It is about the plight of Jews in Kazakhstan. The chorus is:
- Throw the Jew down the well
- So my country can be free
- You must grab him by his horns
- Then we have a big party
Recently, however, a Jewish actor named Sasha Cohen sparked controversy for Borat by impersonating the newsman on TV, he lampooned Kazakh's time-honored customs such as incest and rape. This caused the Kazakhstan government to publicly speak out against Mr. Sagdiyev, ban him from their internet, and threaten frivolous litigation. In order to set the record straight, Borat posted the following on his website:
Fame and Fortune
Last November, Borat hosted the MTV Europe Awards in Lisbon, his fame had reached such massive proportions that it could no longer be contained within a television set.
The documentary Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (commissioned by the Kazakh Government) takes a look at the American people, their culture and psyche as seen through the eyes of Mr. Sagdiyev. His previous assignments have made him as beloved by the American people as they are to him, except for the Jews, who make it necessary for him to travel by road and rail, "in case the Jews repeated their attack of 9/11."
Recently, a couple frat boys have filed a defamation lawsuit against Borat, alleging they were tricked into making racist and sexist remarks on camera. The students were told the name of their school and fraternity wouldn't be used, but after Borat bought them a round of drinks, the two idiots signed a release form.
Sadly, Borat's exploits has resulted in a cancer that is spreading. After his movie came out, people were quoting it whenever possible to the tune of "very nice!" or the ever-infuriating "my name-a Borat." While vaguely amusing at first, these hilarious one-liners quickly pissed off anyone with more than a few brain cells; meaning the quotes were well-liked by most. Those who quoted these lines (often in a poor emulation of the original delivery, imitating Borat's voice) gained an almost orgasmic gratification when they received the one or two polite smiles from people who didn't have the balls to spit in their face and tell them to fornicate themselves with a palm tree.
Impressions are performed by frat boys and drunk girls who think they are the next Richard Pryor. After watching a shitty impression, people are forced to laugh even though they want the impersonator to die a horrible death. These people are easy to fuck with. You can make at least one pretentious asshole leave any party by screaming 'My name-a Borat! High Five!' in a voice that is a mix of Kermit and Louie Armstrong.
Does Borat resemble Encyclopedia Dramatica?
- Unlike some other shitty shows that try to be edgy (like South Park and Family Guy), Borat doesn't only troll people who deserve to be trolled, or try to justify his trolling - he trolls because he fucking can.
- Nothing is sacred - faggots, americunts, feminazis, animals, Jews, children etc. No one.
- He has several sockpuppets.
- He gets sued every week or so.
- He has been noted for displaying pedophilic pretensions. At a concert, he started dry-humping a preteen. If you were to try this at your school concert you could easily get booked.
- He's a Jew. Although he may be ugly and hairy, at least he's not a furry. Although he was raped by a bear.
In real Kazakhstan, the most popular Kazakh is Freestailo, not Jew Borat.
- Kazakhs still butthurt over Borat.
- Kazakhstan's War of Words Against Borat.
- President Bush to hold Borat talks with Kazakhs after diplomatic row.
- Kazakhstan spends $40,000,000 on movie to counter Borat.
- Documentary trailer #1
- Documentary trailer #2
- Borat MP3 soundboard
Sacha Baron Cohen is part of a series on
Sacha Baron Cohen is part of a series on
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