Bill Spider

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The original Bill Spider

See Also: Tabitha Gnillort

The Bill Spider was a small MS paint drawing made by Ausfag basement dweller David Thorne that resulted in a fairly good example of IRL trolling with a dose of troll remorse. This fairly small incident resulted in an Ausfag news frenzy that prooved that the painting skills of a 3 year old can still earn you eFame and false hope.

The Story

It seemed like a good investment...
File:Bill Spider Motivator.gif
The origins of Bill Spider

The story originated Last Thursday when David Thorne, being the incompetent unemployed luser that he is, decided to troll the phone service provider through a series of emails. The first email was a complaint from his phone company that he had been refusing to pay his bills

From: Jane Gilles

Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Overdue account

Dear David, Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.


—phone company

Tired of paying the man, David decided that instead of paying his bill he would save his precious money and instead proceed to troll the shit out of the company

From: David Thorne

Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane, I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.


—David Thorne

The stupidity continued for several chain emails before, wussing out, David baulked under the building pressure of troll remorse like the fucking n00b he is

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.


—David Thorne, suffering from troll remorse

The Article

Apparently nothing happens in Australia so the story starved news website NineMSN decided that this quality story was worth their bandwidth, time and money to use as their front story. As the article combined basement dwellers favorite pastime (beside fapping to furry pr0n), dodging paying taxes and MS paint, it instantly rocketed to the Number 1 article of the month.

The eBay

How the spider pays off the phone bill

Almost exploding with eFame and unwarranted self importance David Thane decided that he could sell his piece of crappy 'art' on eBay. This produced a bidding frenzy in which the retards of the interwebz converged upon eBay to waste money on something they COULD HAVE FUCKING COPIED FROM THE ARTICLE. Apparently the picture of the spider, which takes about three seconds to draw in paint, was worth to some idiot 10,000 dollars, leading to another shitty article from NineMSN.

The Fraud *Gasp*

Orgasming in complete excitement David Thorne proceeded to attempt to collect the money, which the bidder was totally going to pay, and then cried when he was laughed at and told to GTFO. The bidder, Patrick Monaz, replied.

I was just having a laugh about this, I used my normal eBay account too — eBay is going to have the shits when they find out.


—Patrick Monaz

Clearly Patrick was doing it for teh Lulz. eBay decided to step in and make Patrick pay up:

All the drama spawned another shitty article. This is true proof that even though LA can burn to the ground and a black person can get voted into the whitehouse Australia still finds drawn spiders far more interesting.

The articles

Portal trolls.png

Bill Spider is part of a series on


Bill Spider
is part of a series on
Just another British fucking colony...


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