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Æ Roadmap

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    Bayonetta

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    Bayonetta is a game that was released on the Xbox360 and PS3 (Sorry PC Master Race!!) in 2009. It was a fucking hard game made by Hideki Kamiya. The game got great reviews on the gaming sites that matter, and spawned tons of porn; even on Playboy.

    Bayonetta 1

    Story

    Well, it's not shit! It's good, very, very good. What do you do? You kill fucking angels and demons! That's what it's all about. And this Jubileus faggot, which every single boss in the game tells you about. He's the final boss. You have to go to some wiki about Bayonetta if you want more info about the story, because it's to confusing to tell what's what.

    Gameplay

    It's like Devil May Cry, except it's for perverts who want to fap to Bayonetta. You can attack with your fucking badass hair, your badass guns, strip, and much, much more.

    WiiU Exclusive

    Bayonetta 2 was in development and nobody wanted to publish it so Nintendo, of all people said "Hey, why don't you put it on the Wii U?"

    The decision to make the sequel a WiiU exclusive upset many a consolefag. Angry Joe acted like a fucking idiot and made a YouTube video about expressing his thoughts about it. He deleted the video off the internet . He kept the head exploding part of that video but nothing else was lost.


    Bayonetta 2

    So the game was released in Japan, but IT WAS SELLING LIKE SHIT! The game got great reviews but still the game will never sell. Because Hideki Kamiya has bad fucking luck. The game came out in all regions but it still sold like shit because it's on the Wii U. And Hideki's bad luck. Oh, did we mention that you can get Bayonetta 1, and that's for Nintendo fags not getting a PS3 or an Xbox360.

    Story

    The story is (less) better than Bayonetta 1. That is all we have to say.

    Gameplay

    It's the fucking same except you can also play on the gamepad and the game is less hardcore.

    The Fucking Playboy Thing That Nintendo Did

    Bayonetta 2 was not selling so Nintendo got some random cosplayer, then they asked playboy and put it on their site. But little did Nintendo know, people who look at Playboy don't care about video games.

    See also:

    Portal games.png

    Bayonetta is part of a series on

    Gaming

    Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.