⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot


    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search

    Assembly is probably definitely one of the most tedious languages out there. It's not that it's hard, but while the average language (C, C++, Java, etc.) takes around a month or two to learn, Assembly will probably take you more than a year to use proficiently. This is because unlike most languages which have a syntax similar to written English (for, if, etc.), Assembly is a low level language in which you write the instructions telling the processor what to do. The abstraction used in high level languages hides the complexity of the processor.

    Who uses Assembly?

    • Fat nerds who think the more obtuse a programming language is, the better it must be.
    • Jackasses who like to pretend they are "going old school".
    • Those who really enjoy reinventing the wheel.
    • People optimizing compilers, but because they die like flies and the public is used to feature-stale software not running faster even after 10 years (see Microsoft Office), the industry rather buys faster hardware.
    • Crackergroups who circumvent copy protection of uncreative american games for money to enable eastern street dealers to sell them (instead of bread).
    • People who like making the closest to the metal code they can, not realizing that you can compile code to ASM then assemble.No its still faster.
    • Not even Grandma.


    PROTIP: These examples apply ONLY to x86 (and in some cases amd64) assembly programming.

    This is "Hello, World!" example for MASM (note the includes, this is specific to MASM and Win32):

     .model flat, stdcall 
     option casemap :none 
     include \MASM32\INCLUDE\windows.inc
     include \MASM32\INCLUDE\masm32.inc
     include \MASM32\INCLUDE\user32.inc
     includelib \MASM32\LIB\user32.lib
     message db "i herd u liek mudkipz?",0
     mestitle db "lol, win32!",0
     invoke MessageBox,0,ADDR message,ADDR mestitle,MB_OK
     end start

    If you're using FASM and you think invoke is for pussies:

     format PE GUI 4.0
     include 'win32a.inc'
     entry start
     section '.c0de' code data readable writeable executable
     data import
       library user32,"user32.dll"
       import user32,MessageBox,"MessageBoxA"
     end data
     message db 'i herd u liek mudkipz?',0
     title db 'lol, win32!',0
     align 0x10
       pop edx
       push 0
       push title
       push message
       push 0
       push edx
       jmp [MessageBox]
     data fixups
     end data

    Or, if you prefer penguins (GAS)...:

    .section .data
        .ascii "Goodbye, cruel world!"
    .section .text
    .globl _main
        movl $output, %ecx
        movl $4, %eax
        movl $1, %ebx
        movl $21, %edx
        int $0x80
        movl $1, %eax
        movl $0, %ebx
        int $0x80

    Simple, right?

    Inline Assembly

    Because assembly usually operates faster than high level code (C, BASIC, etc.) a lot of compilers for high level languages have support for inline assembly which is basically putting assembly code in your high level code.

    This has the advantages of:

    • Optimizing speed critical algorithms
    • Direct hardware access Unless you're writing your own OS anyway, this is a myth.

    But a big disadvantage is that the inline assembly may not work on other architectures.

    Here is a tutorial for inline assembly with the gcc compiler.

    Optimizing Programs

    Here's a short thing about some of the things that you can optimize by using assembly in your programs along with some things you cannot. Firstly, you can greatly optimize all of the operations inside of your DO and DO..WHILE loops these are very easy to replace in assembly, although you should note that if these calculations aren't very big then obviously interfacing it will cause your program to go slower. This is because every time the program calls this separate assembly module, it needs to save certain registers in the stack and then restore them. Which is OK for some programs but it could in theory be a pain in the ass for big programs that call the function several times, but that is again if the calculations aren't very big. IF.. Else's on the other hand aren't very easy to optimize, not that you can't optimize them, but really all of the optimizations you can do to them are very minor and kerxish. Basic math operations are very easy to optimize in assembly especially chunks of code that are repeated a lot. Regular integer stuff is easy to put into assembly but floating point operations are different, although this is not to imply that they are very much more difficult. They are different because all floating point operations are handled by the FPU registers, all of which commands have the letter F added to the front of them, I will elaborate more eventually on FPU. SIMD, which stands for Single Instruction, Multiple Data can be used to optimize vectors. SIMD can be used to optimize multimedia, bullshit like games, etc. The two extensions I know about are MMX and SSE (also I just googled for it, but since I learned assembly there is now SSE2, SSSE3, and an SSSSE4? lol so I'd suggest you look into them instead). It gets even worse if you include 3DNow!. tl;dr amirite?

    "Optimizing Programs"

    Assembly is the only language you have to work with when cracking programs. (What kinda noob wrote this?) Imagine the pain groups like Razor1911 have to go through--- HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS


    To turn your assembly code into binary you need to assemble it (compile), here's a list of a few of the most popular ones.

    External Links


    Assembly is part of a series on Programming.

    [2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]

    Softwarez series.jpg

    Assembly is part of a series on


    Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.