⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Æ Roadmap
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
- aediot
Ashley Madison
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HOLY SHIT, MOOT IS ON ASHLEY MADISON |
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Breaking news! Holy shit! Ashley Madison's fucked now!!!11!! |
—Ashley Madison website slogan. | ||
—The unofficial Ashley Madison website slogan | ||
Ashley Madison is a website founded by Noel Biderman✡ in 2001 with the sole purpose of shamelessly promoting adultery. Basically, the site's primary function is to go about breaking families and couples apart, all the while profiting off of the resulting pain and suffering and conflicts between the parties. The best part: Ashley Madison has been endorsed by practically every daytime talk show and celebrity, including The View, Ellen Degeneres, Dr. Phil, Good Morning America, Tyra Banks, and many others (Keep in mind that most of these shows tend to promote wholesome family values, and the irony should be pretty clear). Even Larry King gave the website his hearty seal-of-approval. Surprisingly, the media has taken fairly well to the website, with commercials airing on several major TV networks. Now that you're familiar with the site, the next questions on your mind are probably, "how does it work?" and "is there any chance hackers will find my pathetic attempts at infidelity and expose me?" Don't worry, you came to the right place for answers.
Contents
Getting Started
Unless you have a fuckload of money, Ashley Madison is probably out of your price range. The site works on a credit system, with 1000 credits costing $249. To get in contact with someone, you have to use some of your credits before even sending them a message, and hope that they aren't one of the many trolls on the site who make accounts purely to fuck people over and steal their money like any money-grabbing Jew would, or one of the thousands of botted accounts which will message you immediately once you register an account. Assuming you've purchased the site's shitty premium membership, and also managed to find somebody relatively interesting and attractive, Ashley Madison does everything it can to hinder the relationship, first by forcing you to post a picture of yourself on your profile (if you're on Ashley Madison, there's no way in hell you're even remotely attractive to begin with) and second, by continuing to charge you for each message which you send to other people. The worst part is that any message you send is probably either going to a bot or to a greasy Chinese man sitting in the basement of a spark plug factory. All in all, the website is a cheap gimmick founded solely on the premise of making money off of people who are too unattractive to get a date irl, while also promising kinky, wild sex with their "female" members (Most of which are fake).
Ashley Madison Users
The site itself is primarily composed of five types of users:
- Legitimate Swingers: These are the fat, middle-aged losers who are at the end of their rope(s), and are hoping to find one last glimmer of passion in their lives before age sentences their wives to flabbiness and incontinence. Desperate doesn't even begin to describe these douches; basically, imagine a lonely, balding obese man with gigantic, square-rimmed glasses who is so desperate for action that he would pay $250 for a prostitute, and you've already got a good idea of what these mouth-breathers are generally like.
- Cougars: These lonely female panthers are typically unsatisfied with their husband or lover's tiny cock, and join Ashley Madison seeking a man who looks like the guy on the Brawny towels. These bitches will do just about anything to get a younger guy in the sack, which includes flashing their wrinkly tits and bone-dry va-jay-jays for the camera.
- Trolls: Since you don't need to pay to sign up for an Ashley Madison account, lots of Trolls make fake accounts and post ridiculously erotic pics so that the Swingers and Cougars will waste all of their credits desperately trying to get some action.
- Vindictive Lovers: Ashley Madison really isn't all too much of a secret, so it's become fairly common for one partner in a relationship to create an account solely to see if the other partner is trying to cheat on him or her. Frankly, the entire situation seems pretty retarded; if you legitimately think your partner is cheating on you, acting like a little bitch and snooping around on a website with millions of users isn't going to solve your problems.
- Bots: Though not technically real users, these bots have been known to make accounts and spam your inbox with a fuckload of junk mail. Most of this junk mail consists of 'get laid tonight', 'fuck a fat black chick', 'ugly and horny chicks wanna fuck', amongst other foolhardy shit like that. Some of the real users actually fall into the 'bot-trap' and end up sending a ton of messages to these automated systems. When they get no reply (it's a bot, dumbass), they send even more messages, until they get so pissed that they violently withdraw from the site.
After the site was hacked and all their data was exposed, it was revealed that there were almost no women using the site, so that hot chick you wanted to bone was either a bot, or an 80 year old Chinese man in panties:
—Yahoo Finance, reveals the real numbers |
How to Troll Ashley Madison Users
Aside from the obvious tactic of creating a fake account with a hot girl's pic and simply not replying to any messages, there are several humorous tactics for fucking with Ashley Madison fags:
- The ol' bait and switch tactic: Once someone has contacted you, get all possible information out of them, including address and telephone, and then contact his or her partner, and tip them off to the place where you would have arranged to meet with the faggot who initially contacted you. Imagine the dumbstruck look on his or her face when they are greeted not by a seductive young slut, but instead by the partner whom they had been planning to disgrace. Lulz, assuredly, will ensue.
- The White Knight Approach: Assuming you have the money to pay for an account, send out mass messages to random people, claiming that you are their spouse or partner, and are extremely disappointed in him/her for going behind your back and trying to cheat on you. Alternatively, you can also send out messages claiming to be a friend of someone's spouse or partner, and suggest that you will let them know about their attempted shenanigans if they don't admit the truth to their partners.
- The Misinformation tactic: Send a message to a horny swinger claiming to be a luscious, young (and extremely vulnerable) teenage girl. Arrange to meet in a public setting where many people will be around to witness any potential events unfolding (yourself included). Now, convince either a gay friend or an extremely large and intimidating male friend (bonus points if he's black) to meet the guy and claim to be the girl from the website. Note: This prank works even better the more gay friends you get in on it; one gay guy sitting down at a guy's table can ruin his night, but ten gay guys sitting down at a guy's table might actually make him question his own sexuality.
2015 Hacking
—Ashley Madison's false sense of security. | ||
In 2015, the site got hacked by a group calling themselves "Impact Team." They threatened to release data on each one of AM's millions of users for every day that the site stays online. How they hacked the site exactly is unknown; however, it doesn't take a genius to tell that site's security is total shit, and the Jews running this shit-show were too stupid to improve the protection, so it was probably a simple SQL Injection. The reason why Impact Team even bothered is mainly because of Ashley's "full delete" option. For a mere 19 shekels, you can completely wipe away all of your data and no one would ever know you were there. Only it doesn't. All of their purchase history, which includes real names, addresses and credit cards, which also leads to their profiles full of their various sexual fantasies, aren't wiped away, and that's exactly what's crippling AM. IT revealed that this lie netted Ashley close to 2 million Jew Golds, and had proof that the things that people most wanted gone... Wasn't gone.
So if AM and Established Men(A prostitute ring/human trafficking site for the 1%) doesn't get taken down, more records will be revealed and the affected peoples' sex lives are going to get a lot more quiet. It's just further proof that any website can put the "SSL Secure Website" sticker on it and claim they're the most secure, hackproof site on the webs.
An Ultimatum from the Impact Team
When they hacked the site, the Impact Team put up a message on the main page, threatening to release all customer and company information out into the public if they did not comply. The message reads:
AM AND EM MUST SHUT DOWN
IMMEDIATELY PERMANENTLY
We are the Impact Team.
We have taken over all systems in your entire office and production domains,
all customer information databases, source code repositories, financial records, and emails.
Shutting down AM and EM will cost you, but non-compliance will cost you more:
we will release all customer records, profiles with all of the customers' secret
sexual fantasies, nude pictures, conversations, and matching credit card
transactions, real names and addresses, and employee documents and emails.
Avid Life Media will be liable for fraud and extreme harm to millions of users.
At the time, it was unknown what kind of information they actually had access to, nor did anyone know what the Jews running the site were doing to fix the problem, if anything at all. Everyone wondered whether or not they would act on their threat, and otherwise prove that they could spill classified customer information out into the public, or if they were just spouting empty threats. Was this Impact Team just be a bunch of script kiddies who only exploited a vulnerable website via SQL injection, or some shit? A couple weeks later everyone got the answer.
RIP-Rest in Penis
On August 18th, it became clear that Ashley Madison and Established Men will soon be dead as their data has now been posted online, due to them thinking Impact Team were pussies and full of shit. Impact Team posted a 9.7 GB data dump of all of AM's members' information and sick fuckery that they could get their hands on, all the way back to 2007, from NORPs to more important people in Canada to fucking pedophile Josh Duggar, etc. All Avid Life did was "increase security", which by now, likely translated to "We did absolutely nothing to fix this".
TIME'S UP!
Avid Life Media has failed to take down Ashley Madison and Established Men.
We have explained the fraud, deceit, and stupidity of ALM and their members. Now everyone gets to see their data…. Keep in mind the site is a scam with thousands of fake female profiles. See ashley madison fake profile lawsuit; 90-95% of actual users are male. Chances are your man signed up on the world’s biggest affair site, but never had one. He just tried to. If that distinction matters.
Find yourself in here? It was ALM that failed you and lied to you. Prosecute them and claim damages. Then move on with your life. Learn your lesson and make amends. Embarrassing now, but you’ll get over it.
Then on August 20, moar lulz hit the fan when Impact Team post another 20 gigabytes of data online. This particular batch contains what appears to be several gigs of Noel Biderman's emails. This came, no doubt, as a response to Noel's denying that the hack was legitimate, despite the fact that experts had already called bullshit on that. Some of Noel's emails seem to indicate that he had multiple affairs over many years, which is funny because he has previously stated that he hs nevar cheated on his wife. In fact, it looks like he was actually paying girls for sex, as some requested fund of up to $1500 and others had phone numbers that matched those of girls who post profiles on known escort websites.
In fact, further examination of Ashley Madison internal emails seem to point to CTO Raja Bhatia hacking competitor nerve.com and claiming he could pwn their user database.
—Leaked Raja Bhatia email to Noel Biderman, on why hacking is wrong | ||
In the interest of justice, several sites have already began indexing the email addresses contained in the dump so everyone out there can see if their spouse is one of Ashley Madison's happy customers. The links to these sites are presented below, as we believe in providing a valued public service.
Get ready for a massive murder and castration spike by psychotic wives any time soon, along with ALM drowning and dying in countless lolsuits.
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Video Gallery
This commercial was banned from the Superbowl
Previous Video | Next Video |
Image Gallery
- Ashleymadisonflyer.jpg
At least they're honest...
- Ashley madison secure.jpg
- Ashley madison fat.jpg
Who you'll meet on Ashley Madison
- Ashley madison french.jpg
French is the language of love
- Ashley madison suicide.png
A tough decision
Wise advise
- Jeff ashton ashley madison.jpg
Say hello to Florida state attorney Jeff Ashton, the prosecutor of Casey Anthony
A hacked Ashley Madison user returns to his new home after divorce court
- Gay moot is gay 2.jpg
Why would someone this sexy need Ashley Madison?
Meet Michael Gorhum this guy made made the right call
See Also
External Links
- The Site
- The site gets hacked
- The site's likely death knell
- Our first of potentially many an heroes
- Search for Ashley Madison users - Site 1
- Search for Ashley Madison users - Site 2
- Search for Ashley Madison users - Site 3
- The fact that the site is a scam has been known since 2009
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Ashley Madison is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
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Ashley Madison is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article July 22 and 23, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Pluto |
Ashley Madison | Succeeded by Vermin |
