Several things are still being worked on behind the scenes, news about it coming soon
For spam reasons: email [email protected] after account creation to ask for editing approval.

Main PageRandom

Area 51

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
See? No base there.

Area 51 is an imaginary air base in Nevada which definitely doesn't exist. It is not the government's holding area for technology not thought to be made by man, nor is it the center for the procurement and research into such technology. The moon landing was not filmed there, despite the overlays of terrain that would point to the contrary, nor have aliens ever had anything to do with anything there, despite the thousands of statements claiming otherwise. Experimental aircraft using reverse-engineered alien technology is certainly not being developed. The government has told us time and time again that there is no base out there, yet still those pesky hillbillies (and certainly not some of the most respected scientists, engineers, and military personnel in the world) keep thinking that there is something going on. Your government would never lie to you.

The Alleged Story about the supposed base that is obviously not there

Obviously the government has nothing to hide

Area 51, or "Groom Dry Lake" is the alleged Air Force base that people who hate the government lie about. It was definitely not built in 1945 after World War 2 as a place for the government to test new aircraft, and then adapted in order to reverse engineer technology procured at a series of mysterious crash sites across the world. In 1947, the media went crazy when the mysterious tale of a shiny metal object crashing on a farm near the small now-ghost-town of Corona, New Mexico. After the farmer saw that some of his cattle had been rigorously mutilated by the supposed crash (and not possibly coyotes or Mexicans), and seeing a bunch of tin-foil lying around (a typical sign of burritos having been eaten/made), he called up the Air Force in Roswell, New Mexico to come check shit out. They did, and after the government assured the people of the United States that it was actually just a weather balloon, they simply took it to the Groom Dry Lake installation to gather the, um, weatherific information from it. This begs the question: Why would the government take a downed weather balloon to a place where they capture aliens, steal their technology and perform experiments on them? Yet another case of the crazies attempting to discredit our glorious government.

The Bob Lazar lie

I am exactly sure of what I saw. I know what mainstream science is like, I know where physics stands—I know all of that—and this is an extraterrestial craft, this technology is hundreds and hundreds of years in advance of us, and that's the end of that story


—known pimp Bob Lazar too high on pcp to know what swamp gas is

the only flying saucers lazar seen

Bob Lazar is a janitor working for a local high school who decided one day he needed money to fuel his PCP addiction and went on a Las Vegas TV station and make up a bunch of lies. He claimed to have a PHD in physics and a degree in electrical engineering.He also claimed that he worked for Las Alamos Jet propulsion lab and Area 51. His other lies include:

  • Reverse engineering flying saucers so humans can fly them.
  • Discovering element 115 which cant be processed on earth
  • Realizing Einstein is a filthy lying Jew and his theories were wrong the whole time. (Later to be found out true)
  • Discovering that even aliens have a bigger penis than he does. (Later found out to be true)

When the press did a back ground check they found nothing notable. They even found out he didn't even graduate High School. In 1990 Bob Lazar was convicted of being a pimp IN LAS VEGAS. Now how in the hell do you get busted for pimping in Las Vegas especially when you claim to have a PHD in physics and a Masters in electrical engineering. Now the crazy conspiracy cunt would have you believe that Lazar was set up and that the government erased his history to discredit him. Now how in the hell can the government so fully erase a mans past but can't even find one haji in the mountains?

The "aliens" at S-4

File:Ay lmao hitler.png
typical day at area 51

There have been numerous video that has supposedly came from Area 51 but two of them come to mind for being obvious fakes but none the less got the UFO nuts in a tizzy.

The first video is the now famous alien autopsy video. The video shows a alleged autopsy of a alien recovered from the Roswell UFO Crash. There are many obvious things that prove that this video is real which include:

  • The rolls of fat under the armpits, above the thighs, and under the chin all seem to indicate gravity pulling toward the toes rather than downward. The leg muscles seem to be tensed. All of which suggests this body was created from a body cast of a standing person.
  • The doctor lays hands on the creature's face, and appears to be looking in its mouth. Does he even attempt to open the jaw, or pull the lips aside?
  • The doctor bends the knee slightly - but only to the point where a foam or urethane knee would be expected to start wrinkling. Also, of all the joints this one is the most likely to bend at all, since half of its material is missing. Perhaps this is why we never see any attempt to manipulate the other joints.
  • Notice the knee-bending scene takes place over two shots - a close shot and a wide shot. The doctor bends the knee in the close shot. Then, what appears to be an end-of-roll flare appears. At least a few minutes must have passed while the cameraman changed rolls and began filming again. And when filming resumes we find the doctor still bending the knee! Must be one fascinating knee bend there.
  • As the doctor moves the scalpel along the neck and across to the chest the camera doesn't move on. Instead, it remains focused on the side of the neck for several seconds - until blood begins to drip from the wound.
  • Post-mortem wounds do not bleed.

The second video is that of a alien interrogation at S-4.Now this one got the UFO nuts really wet when they seen this because they thought they found the holy grail some of the proof that the video is real is:

  • The lighting is dark because the aliens have big eyes and would be sensitive to bright light not to hide the guys hand up the puppets ass.
  • The two guys behind the alien. They are there to monitor the alien not to manipulate it to make it seem real.
  • The jerky movements of the alien are obviously proof that its anatomy is different than ours not the fact that it is a shitty puppet.
  • It has DNI which means Department of Naval intelligence burned into every frame which proves the government filmed it. It obviously wasn't filmed to throw researchers off or the fact if you look up Department of naval intelligence it doesn't exist.

Things Area 51 is known for

  • Alien spacecraft storage: Storage, examination, and reverse engineering of crashed alien spacecraft.
  • Study of aliens: Examination of dead aliens that came in UFOs and interrogation of living aliens.
  • Manufacture of aircraft based on alien technology.
  • Meetings or joint undertakings with extraterrestrials.
  • Development of exotic energy weapons said to be many times deadlier than the Death Star.
  • Time travel: Established means of time travel or development of time travel technology.
  • Aurora aircraft: Development of unusual and exotic propulsion systems related to the Aurora Aircraft Program (a cutting age spy plane).
  • Politics and secret societies: Activities related to a supposed shadowy one world government and/or the Majestic Twelve organization (A secret committee of scientists, military leaders, and government officials, supposedly formed in 1947 by an executive order of U.S. President Harry S. Truman to investigate UFO activity).
  • Simulation of moon's environment: In 2000-2001, Fox Television broadcast a show about Apollo moon landing hoax accusations, in which it was suggested that the entire moon landing in 1969 was a hoax and was filmed in parts of Area 51.
  • Misdirection attempt: During the mid-1990's, the most secret work previously done in Area 51 was quietly moved to other facilities and the continued secrecy around is largely a successful attempt at misdirection.
  • Getting 40-year-old virgin hillbillies laid.

See Also

They walk among us

Areas that are Obviously Lies

Portal truth.png

Area 51 is part of a series on