⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
Aquilus (a.k.a. HissyLizard, or Jonathan Carter) is a furfag cumdumpster living in Basingstoke, UK. He is a 30-something undesirable in the furry community, and a danger to all those he shows interest in. He, and his boyfriend he lives with (known as Kandrel, Fox, or Jerard Fox Rosenberg) will sleep with anyone who thinks that they want to be friends.
Aquilus has spent most of his life in a very important job developing Java apps for the Government statistics office, stating that it makes good use of his degree in aviation. His amazing paycheck of entry rate graduation from university is mostly spent on furry art of his character drawn with the typical exaggerated penis.
His ambitions are to get fucked by everyone in the furry community that's willing to sleep with him and, failing that, chronically fap over his computer whilst having cyber sex on IRC.
His typical day is to wake up and log on to IRC until it's time to go to work. He'll then use his laptop to IRC on the train to work. At work, he doesn't not IRC, but will instead work hard to make money to buy more porn with. Upon leaving work, he will return to IRC until about midnight, and then go to sleep. Weekends are pretty much the same, only instead of going to work, he fucks his weekend guest.
—His profile on Xtube
He tries to go to every single furcon in the year and walks round pretending that he is better than everyone else, but this is merely a cover for his lack of friends. At many furmeets he has been observed sitting in the corner being antisocial, and when presented with a social challenge, he becomes a complete dick, so much that everyone in the area leaves.
Cleaners at this year's Eurofurence have stated that room 323 (the room he was in) was by far the most disgusting room they had ever seen, and that they have had many reports of orgies and abuse from first time con-goers. He commented that it was all a lie and nothing happened.
He has started to prey on younger members of the furry community since people of his own age seem to have standards or know that he has every STD ever. His method is to find people who are insecure and become their best friend, delivering gifts and even driving hundreds of miles to pick them up and take them to his dungeon to have unprotected sex with them.
He has none. During his time at Southampton University, he made no friends and spent the whole time in his room fapping to porn in the dark. No one in his courses remember him as anything other than that weird guy everyone stayed away from. Anyone who knows Aquilus has had sex with him and wished they didn't. He is ostracized from any sort of social gathering and he then blames his failing on other people.
He ran a IRC chatroom called #uncut where he discussed how he loves unwashed cocks and enjoys a night in with a glass of cum and some dick cheese to nibble on. His retarded trolling for people to sleep with caused a revolt that got him banned for a week. He never came back stating that he was bored of it and had better things to do.
He enjoys getting tied up and fisted or having his rear filled with all sorts of animal shaped dildos. People have commented that his ass is like waving a pencil around inside the Albert Hall, though no one has ever commented that he was a good shag or that he came back for seconds. His dick is less than 4 inches long and as such there have never been any pictures of it due to the embarrassment and exposure of his lies that he is well hung.
So strange are his sexual perversions that his longtime boyfriend and partner Fox has had to find other people with which to have sex. Unfornately, no one wants to fuck Fox, because of him receiving so many STDs from Aquilus. They are most suited though as Fox has been a fag since he was 12 and sucked off the neighborhood every weekend until he moved to the UK where he was most disappointed. They state that they are happily married and are monogamous, yet they routenly fuck small boys from the street and offer them white lightning to lure them in. They live in a shithole with snakes and lizards and rats, where said snakes and lizards are the only real pets. The rats are due to the fact they live in their own filth and have dildos and sextoys on display everywhere. Their house is always unclean and has grime everywhere, and they show no signs of intending to clean it as their home life is centered around computers, sex, and sleep. Also, his partner is said to be an author of novels; shitty slash fanfics that he writes at work, which got him fired from several jobs because he continually went to the washroom every 10 minutes to wank. His "novels" are dull and a mere cuntpaste of every poorly written fanfic ever made. The damage to his brain is quite clear to anyone who reads these fanficsl he should be avoided at all costs.
Note the dildos on display.
Totally not gay.
Being the dirty cock slut he is.
- Aquilus sarovak dick.jpg
- E-mail: [email protected]
- Yahoo: aquiluslizard
- AIM: hissylizard
- MSN/LIVE: [email protected]
- IRC Server: irc.furnet.org
Aquilus is part of a series on
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