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This article is about South Africa. For Jewish apartheid against Palestinians, see The Kike Reich

Really, it's for their own good.

Apartheid was a Dutch final solution invented in 1948 designed to create drama and segregate niggers from people. The mods in South Africa separated all the users into five (5) communities:

  • whites
  • blacks
  • indians
  • coloureds
  • prawns

Segregation was truly a worthwhile cause. The fact that it does not continue to this day is yet again the fault of the Jews. Those Jews are always ruining things one way or another, but enough of that. Segregation sought to keep the monkeys out of the suburbs, aka the blacks out of civilization. It is a common misconception that black and white people are the same, whereas in fact blacks are genetically and mentally far inferior. Integration is like putting a bear and a bacteria together and saying they understand one another. Segregation was simply logical white mens last ditch attempt to keep blacks in their place, after slavery Überfailed once Abraham Lincoln fucked up everything and shit (Actually, Lincoln wanted to ship the slaves back to Africa, however wasn't able to due to his term getting cut short). It lasted a while, but after a valiant effort the Jews came in in the form of the US government. The people of the American South will always be honored for their valiant efforts. In South Africa only the whites could vote, own property, hookers and blow, or learn. When all of the blacks were forced to live and work together, there was a large AIDS epidemic, and hilarity ensued.

Notable Trolls

However, as with any major Livejournal community or website, Apartheid had its own set of dedicated trolls. However these trolls were generally unfunny and failed at setting about any change for at least 50 years.

Oliver Tambo

Oliver Tambo was the leader of the ANC (African National Congress) trolling organization, who were pretty much the GNAA of apartheid. Together with Nelson Mandela, Tambo (running under the pseudonym timecop) hosted a weekly podcast where they outlined their failed attempt at lulz, like spray-painting Goatse all over the streets of Capetown. He was eventually found out, and mediacrat humbled him when he brought Tambo to e-court, and banished him to the #zambia IRC channel, because South Africa was for rich people and beautiful people and people with perfect friends and people with perfect lives, James.

Nelson Mandela

Mugshot of Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela trolled under the nickname l0de. His claim to fame was hosting the ANC podcast, as well as porting the popular game Last Measure into Afrikaans. After he trolled the whites in South Africa by replacing all of their copies of The Half Blood Prince with the pain series and Goatse, Mandela was thrown in jail for at least 100 years. He was later released and made president as part of a program of national reconciliation.

Steve Biko

A counter-troll who thought Mandela was too soft, Biko's goal was to overthrow apartheid at any cost. So he spammed South Africa with his moralfaggotry until the authorities said STFU and b& him for life. However, he snuck back in via proxies and hid out on #soweto, continuing to spam. This caused the The Man to rage and purify the entire channel; Biko honorably provided employment for local school children as sockpuppets to be banned in his place. Finally, like other great spammers, Biko was at last brought low and died as a result of his prison hunger strike.

Eugene Terreblanche

Eugene Terreblanche (Terre Blanche, "White Earth" - get it??), a great revolutionary leader and reverse nigger, was an Afrikaner farmer who sensibly did not support turning his country over to a pack of hooting monkeys. As a result he determined to champion a noble cause: he would restore South Africa to the white man's tender administration. The first step to this was the founding of the AWB, a far-right militia with which he promptly invaded one of SA's many disease-ridden slums. After losing 90% of his army to immediate super-AIDS and having the remainder raped to death, Terreblanche then embarked on a notable career of setting dogs on uppity pump jockeys, tl;dr defamation trials, cringe-inducing sex scandals, going to jail, falling off his horse, failing politically, and as a capper getting cut to pieces with a machete last Thursday.

The End Of Apartheid

When South Africa's head mod Pieter Willem Botha had a stroke and deleted his livejournal, Desmond Tutu became the new leader. He then decided to permaban all the whites, symbolically ending apartheid. However, the trolls have made a resurgence in the past few years, using the Jewish Media Conspiracy and GRIDS to disrupt the lives of black persons all across South Africa. Because of all the bloodshed, South Africans have not been able to attend as many BBQs as they have funerals. There are now very few reported sightings of blacks in South Africa, as they have all fled to the Habbo Hotel, closing down pools due to AIDS and stingrays. South Africa is still, however, the babyfuck capital of Planet Earth; this quite makes up for the abortion of lulz caused by apartheid's abolition.

It is very sad to see apartheid's end, as it generated many LULZ. Fortunately, the world still has Israel around to take up South Africa's mantle: pwning lesser races with American ordnance, building sexy segregation walls for great justice, and blackmailing the region with hidden nukes. They also, like white South Africa, totally ignore unfavorable UN resolutions and doesn't afraid of anything.

Apartheid-Friendly Quotes

I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races - that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.


—Abraham Lincoln, making fine sense

If I were an Arab leader, I would never sign an agreement with Israel. It is normal; we have taken their country. It is true God promised it to us, but how could that interest them? Our God is not theirs. There has been Antisemitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz, but was that their fault? They see but one thing: we have come and we have stolen their country. Why would they accept that?


—David Ben-Gurion, admitting that Zionism and ethnic cleansing are synonymous

I contend that we are the first race in the world, and that the more of the world we inhabit the better it is for the human race.


—Cecil Rhodes, setting the stage for apartheid

There is no place for [the Bantu] in the European community above the level of certain forms of labour... What is the use of teaching the Bantu child mathematics when it cannot use it in practice? That is quite absurd. Education must train people in accordance with their opportunities in life, according to the sphere in which they live.


—Hendrik Verwoerd, architect of apartheid


See also

External Links