Goatse

Goatse is part of a series on Shock Sites.

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File:Hello.jpg

OMG, GET ME OUTTA HERE!

Goatse predates Encyclopedia Dramatica and is still the most overused shock image here. It is also the inspiration for endless attempts to force TOW to have an article on anal stretching. Goatse was the favorite meme of the GNAA early on, but had become such an old meme that by two years ago, a job fair in Europe modelled its entrance on his open-anus gesture. Nobody knows or cares how Goatse got its name.

Fun Facts

File:G04ts3.PNG

Ohai

File:LimewireGoatse.jpg

Prefered program for goatse users.

Hard Choice

File:Tha moon.jpg

The initial impact of Goatse

File:Oshitgoatse.jpg

Another initial reaction

File:Goatsemovie.jpg

Oh, look - there's a movie out about you!

File:Menwhostareatgoatse.jpg

Poster of the above movie. A sure hit.

File:Arrogantgoatse.jpg

A challenger appears. Time for some moar Bawwwwww

<video type="youtube" id="gZXE8T163ZE" width="300" height="200" desc="Doing it wrong" frame="true" position="right"/> These facts are all true:

Goatse was hosted on a webserver in Kansas City, making it yet another example in the city's long and storied list of trolls.
Goatse has made an utterly benign image title - "hello.jpg" - anathematic. Need proof? Google "Hello.jpg". The first two links are TOW's Goatse.cx and ED's very own copy of hello.jpg.
Upset after being Goatse'd? Don't worry: the person who Goatse'd you obviously got Goatse'd themselves; otherwise, they wouldn't have known of the site.
The Goatse guy seems to be married because he has a ring on his hand.
The Goatse guy appears to have either a rather large pilonidal cyst or a second, virgin asshole.
Goatse is the most infamous member of The Power 5.
The Goatse guy's best friend is The Giver.
Goatse can refer to the man in the picture, the picture itself (hello.jpg), the sex move, or the website that started it all.
Goatse enjoys long walks on the beach and FUCKING HUGE DILDOS
Despite what you see in the picture (study it for a moment) the human intestine is not a big truck you can dump something into, but a series of tubes.
It is supposedly now illegal in the United States
There are way too fucking many links to Goatse on ED.
Goatse has NOTHING to do with goats, although some have argued a direct link between Goatse and The Goat Tower
In some Dutch (more specifically Flemish) dialects Goatse means "small opening". The correct Dutch word is "gaatje".
The Goatse domain moved to France (Goatse.fr) you can now sign up for the cryptocurrency "Goatse coin" at Goatse.cx

Origin

The site was first launched in File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 1999 under the domain name Goatse.cx. According to the Wikipedia entry, the earliest known instance of the shock image was uploaded circa 1997 as “gap3.jpg” in a set of 40 additional images compressed into a single ZIP file named File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg "Gap.zip" According to Gawker’s investigative report published in April 2012, the photo set initially spread across gay porn communities on Usenet and was later picked up by The Stiles

Legislation Inspired by Goatse

§ 2252C. Misleading words or digital images on the Internet
(a) IN GENERAL.—Whoever knowingly embeds words or digital images into the source code of a website with the intent to deceive a person into viewing material constituting obscenity shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for not more than 10 years.
(b) MINORS.—Whoever knowingly embeds words or digital images into the source code of a website with the intent to deceive a minor into viewing material harmful to minors on the Internet shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for not moar than 20 years.
(c) CONSTRUCTION.—For the purposes of this section, a word or digital image that clearly indicates the sexual content of the site, such as ‘sex’ or ‘porn’, is not misleading.
(d) DEFINITIONS.—As used in this section—HR 4472 EAS.
(1) the terms ‘material that is harmful to minors’ and ‘sex’ have the meaning given such terms in section 2252B; and
(2) the term 'source code’ means the combination of text and other characters comprising the content, both viewable and nonviewable, of a web page, including any website publishing language, programming language, protocol or functional content, as well as any successor languages or protocols.

That means that you cannot misleadingly link it because you could trick people into viewing obscenity. However feel free to link it via AIM, IRC or your favorite chat client because the fact that they are told what every URL actually is technically (arguably) means they are not being tricked.

The Man Behind The Anus

After a hard day's stretching, Kirk Johnson takes time to relax (his ass) at home and enjoy the beauty of nature

Kick Johnson's favorite rock album

One very persistent internets user spent months and months trawling all the gay erotica and anal stretching newsgroups and eventually located the star of this picture, by matching the pattern of moles on his ass. It is with many lulz that ED advises the world that the Goatse guy's real name is Kirk Johnson, a middle-aged bisexual man with a fancy for oversized black dildos. He posts pictures and videos of himself regularly on the newsgroup alt.binaries.erotica.male.anal.

The users at Something Awful think Kirk Johnson died at the age of 58 from shoving a volleyball up his asshole in July 2010. However, anyone who faps to his videos know he also posts regularly on Imagefap [1], and has thousands (I'm not shitting you) of pictures of his flexible poopchute. He has multiple videos as well (not for the faint of heart) You can even hear Kirk Johnson's voice! Kirk currently posts videos on http://www.pornhub.com/users/KirkJ and http://www.xvideos.com/profiles/kirkj, not to mention that you can also watch a video of him stretching his anus, and fisting himself, at http://www.goatsevideo.com/. There is a 2007 interview from BMEzine File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg here (archive).

Linx

Goatse.cx originally linked to Urinalpoop.org and Dolphinsex.org, both of which are now parked. Thankfully, Dolphinsex continues right here on ED. The mere link to Dolphinsex was cited specifically in an official complaint and was used as one of the major reasons why Goatse was B& from the Christmas Island top-level domain (.cx):

	“	[Goatse.cx links] to unlawful obscene content (site which describes how to have sex with dolphins)	„
	—Rhonda Clarke, on the Christmas Island Internet Administration (CIIA) Limited AUP Complaint Form

“	I appreciate that the Christmas Island community takes immense pride in it’s natural beauty - of which the spinning dolphins are an important part, and note that the links to the dolphin sex web site would have been highly offensive to the users of the IT Centre, particularity children.	„
—Garth Miller of the CIIA, in a spelling-error filled final decision to suspend Goatse.cx

January 14, 2004: The Dream Dies

File:Gizgoat.JPG

Dream is dead: 2006/2007 European job fair with Goatse-themed entrance

On January 11, 2004, Rhonda Clarke - a whiny resident of the tiny, Australian pseudocolony known as Christmas Island suffering from post-Goatse syndrome - submitted a formal complaint to the Christmas Island Internet Administration (CIIA) and a official Goatse on Google petition. Only three days later, the heartless bureaucratic fucks on the island suspended goatse.cx pending review. Although the exact sequelae are unknown, the registrant may simply have failed to respond, leading to Goatse.cx being automatically permabanned 60 days later (March 12, 2004).

“	There can be no doubt that will be viewed by some as “censorship” and a restriction of “freedom of speech”, however the board has specifically drafted polices which give CIIA latitude to (act in the absence of a court order) when there is a compelling public interest in doing so... The “freedom of speech” does not extend to use of our community owned network to facilitate unlawful activity or to intentionally harass or offend internet users.	„
—Garth Miller, the only person on Earth that uses air quotes when saying "freedom of speech"

To his credit, however, Garth appeared to sympathize with the ethical nihilism of the internet and to understand Goatse. We can be confident that he was fully aware of the harm he was inflicting on trolls everywhere:

Goatse was the inspiration for a popular movie

“	...goatse.cx is a well know [sic] “shock site” which is intended (one can assume) to be humorous. Although we have received numerous informal complaints, most have raised objections to the images. Although the images could generally be considered to be are offensive and crude, they do not represent child ( or other forms ) of illegal pornography. By internet standards the imagery - although intentionally offensive, is relatively tame... ...goatse.cx is... one of the Internets more popular shock sites - it is common practice for many “internet trolls” and third parties to embed hidden links to this site.	„

Uses of Goatse

This magazine cover depicts how America's sovereignty was lost due to being Goatsed by immigrants.

File:Atlanta billboard hacked -Goatse.jpg

ZOMG hacked!

Trolling
Police work
Fifty Goatse post
Vanity license plates
Goatse leather bracelets
A tribute to Goatse
Kirk Johnson's official website and fan club
First reactions to Goatse at Flickr
Another well known shock site with a familiar star

Wikipedia Drama

As long as TOW has had an article on Goatse, there have been several persistent users who felt the need to include the image in the article. Like all things glorious that have show up on Jimbo's chain of porn sites, it was quickly nominated for deletion (and deleted) several times. This lead to a huge debate about the inclusion of Kirk's gaping ass, with Wikipedos yelling "NON NOTABLE" and "WIKIPEDIA ISN'T CENSORED" at each other. The final decision was to only keep a link to the original image, and delete all new uploads of it as a "copyright violation".

A Novel Way To Troll

Eric [8:47 PM]: dude i have this site i post all my pics on for the class

Eric [8:47 PM]: want to see them

Eric [8:47 PM]: ?

Mike [8:47 PM]: Sure

Eric [8:47 PM]: they're kind of controversial

Eric [8:47 PM]: [Tinyurl Goatse mirror link defunct Tinyurl shock site link]

Mike [8:48 PM]: holy shit dude

Eric [8:48 PM]: lol

Mike [8:53 PM]: They were for Gavenus' class???

Eric [8:54 PM]: LOL yea, he said they were "artistic"

Eric [8:55 PM]: He said the first was ok, but the second was too over the top

Mike [8:55 PM]: Yeah I'll say

Mike [8:57 PM]: OK dude, I just looked at your pic...I still don't know you...you sure your talking to the right s/n?

Variations

Animated

File:AnimatedGoatse.gif

Stars of Goatse

Science has given us a new way to troll with Goatse. Observe the image below and scroll slowly.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

400px

NOTE: This is what scientists look at all day.

Reverse!

File:Reverse goatse.jpg

On JewTube

A stereoscopic video

The singing Goatse

Fan work

Previous Video | Next Video

ASCII Rendition

g                                               g  
o /     \             \            /    \       o
a|       |             \          |      |      a
t|       `.             |         |       :     t
s`        |             |        \|       |     s
e \       | /       /  \\\   --__ \\       :    e
x  \      \/   _--~~          ~--__| \     |    x  
*   \      \_-~                    ~-_\    |    *
g    \_     \        _.--------.______\|   |    g
o      \     \______// _ ___ _ (_(__>  \   |    o
a       \   .  C ___)  ______ (_(____>  |  /    a
t       /\ |   C ____)/      \ (_____>  |_/     t
s      / /\|   C_____)       |  (___>   /  \    s
e     |   (   _C_____)\______/  // _/ /     \   e
x     |    \  |__   \\_________// (__/       |  x
*    | \    \____)   `----   --'             |  *
g    |  \_          ___\       /_          _/ | g
o   |              /    |     |  \            | o
a   |             |    /       \  \           | a
t   |          / /    |         |  \           |t
s   |         / /      \__/\___/    |          |s
e  |           /        |    |       |         |e
x  |          |         |    |       |         |x

If you are a too nice a person to use Goatse as a trolling tool, redirect someone to the shocking ASCII version here.

File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg High Quality HTML rendition

Galleries

The Complete Kirk Johnson Collection About missing Pics

Gap1.jpg

Uploaded
Gap2.jpg

Just
Gap3.jpg

For
Gap4.jpg

You
Gap5.jpg

Nigga

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Gap6.jpg

The
Gap7.jpg

Full
Gap8.jpg

Goatse
Gap9.jpg

Set
Gap10.jpg

So
Gap11.jpg

All
Gap12.jpg

You
Gap13.jpg

Perverts
Gap14.jpg

Can
Gap15.jpg

Fap
Gap16.jpg

Happily
Gap17.jpg

Hope
Gap18.jpg

You
Gap19.jpg

Enjoy
Gap20.jpg

The
Gap21.jpg

Anus
Gap22.jpg

Opening
Gap23.jpg

Experience
Gap24.jpg

Of
Gap25.jpg

Seeing
Gap26.jpg

All
Gap27.jpg

This
Gap28.jpg

Hardcore
Gap29.jpg

Gay
Gap30.jpg

Pornography
Gap31.jpg

Hey
Gap32.jpg

At
Gap33.jpg

Least
Gap34.jpg

It
Gap35.jpg

Isn’t
Gap36.jpg

As
Gap37.jpg

Bad
Gap38.jpg

As
Gap39.jpg

Pain
Gap40.jpg

Series

If you're too lazy to click on every picture, there's a slideshow of the entire picture set here. Be warned, however: this site is owned and operated by the same fgt as Meatspin.

Gallery of Goatse About missing Pics

Cockmonglegoatse.jpg
Newgoatse01.jpg

Being gay is not ok
Jamesholmesgoatse.png

James Holmes

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Goatsegentlemen.jpeg
Newgoatse02.jpg
Goatsebush.jpg
Home Alone Goatse.jpg
Newgoatse03.jpg
Magiceye.jpg.gif
Newgoatse04.jpg
Newgoatse05.jpg
Newgoatse06.jpg
Newgoatse07.jpg
Newgoatse08.jpg
Goatse oreilly.jpg

Goatse.cks: Resurrection. Much more disturbing than the original. Praise the Lawd!
Girls can try too
File.jpg
2012goat.jpg

A Goatse-inspired alternative design for the London 2012 Olympics Logo
It's amazing what a 90 degree turn can do
Goatse-time.jpg

A more explicit Time Magazine parody
NYT Goatse 01 22 08.jpg

Goatse meets AIDS in the New York Times letters page
AncientGoatse.jpeg

The legend of the Goatse has existed throughout time
Goatsepants.jpg

Introducing the new Goatse(TM) line of clothing.
Pump.jpg
1337-goatse.png

Goatse is 1337 on ED
3-goatse-tattoo.jpg
Bananase.png
Goatse melon.jpg
Asciiigoatse.JPG

ASCII Goatse in .jpg form
Goatse is the One True God
Godse.cx.jpg

God is a fan of Goatse too
Cosmic Goatse.jpg

The Goatse nebula
Goatselol.gif

Pluto is also a fan of EXTREME anal stretching
Igoatse.jpg

Apple supports Goatse
Goatpod.jpg

Moar support from Apple
Goatse.gif
I'm never skyping with grandpa again
Canada loves Goatse too!
Chicken cartoon goatse.gif
Plz to be helping Goatse
The Goatse sweater
Mexican Goatse.JPG

Mexican car batteries do Goatse, too
Kirkj.jpg

The man around the anus
ManHole.jpg
Goatsewav.jpg

Goatse.wav
Goatse4kids.jpg

Just so the kids aren't left out.
Goatse-bookcover.jpg

Double the Goatse, double the fun
Goatze.gif

Real Goatse
Goatselazer.jpg
Spartse.jpg

This is Spartse!
Goatse wordsearch.jpg

Found on back of a crayon pack
3D GOATSE.jpg

3D Goatse
Bush goatse.jpg

The REAL weapon of mass destruction
Goatsewitness.jpg
Kill Bill Goatse.gif
Goatsegame.jpg

3D interactive Goatse in Games
Goatse4.jpg

A rare Madeleine McCann drawing
Goatsegirl2.jpg

Goatse Girl
Glameow Goatse.png

Who's that Pokemon?
YiffGoatse.jpg

Digimon Goatse: yifftastic
LegoGoatse.jpg

wtf.
Goatse7.jpg

Goatse? In my store?
Goatsepokemon.gif

Goatse? In my Pokemans?
Targoat.jpg
Tamagotchigoatse.jpg
Lordoftheringsgoatse.jpg

Lord of the Goatse
Worsethangoatse.jpg

Worse than Goatse.
BowserGoatse.jpg

Goatse? In my Nintendo?
Mariots.gif

Moar Nintendo Goatse.
Goatsewars.jpg

Behold the GoatseStar!
Goatse.jpg
Goatsecola.jpg

Delicious Goatse Cola
Goatseoflove.jpg

Barry Bonds hit number 760
Westnet.gif

Westnet logo
The hole they dug Saddam Hussein out of
Goatcomp.jpg

WANT!
Goatsecake2.jpg

Goatsecake 2.0 - edible art!
Mooning.jpg

fail
Homerhatesgoatse.jpg

DO NOT WANT!!!
Tv kids.JPG
Goatse the Snack.jpg

It is delicious goatse, you must eat it
Wtfgoatse.jpg

Broadcaster gone wrong :O
GoatseBioshock.jpg

Bioshock Goatse
Goatgle.jpg

Google supports Goatse
A touching tribute to the cornhole that changed the world.
Goatsegame.gif
ReverseGoatse.jpg
Petgoatse.jpg

My Pet Goatse
Ahnold does not care for Goatse.
TreeGoatse.jpg

Unprotected treehugging
GoatseSky.jpg

Look! Up in the sky...
ChinaKidGoatse.jpg

In 2008, Gloria Ip Tung of China won the 17th International Children's Competition with this image. Really.
Moog 176.jpg

Medical Goatse in the making!
Go ask your nearest proctologist nao
Moog 178.jpg

It's a lot of fun!!
Horroatse.jpg

The horror has not just one name.
Watchmengoatse.jpg

Goatse makes a cameo in Watchmen
Tattoo.jpg

Ass tattoo.
Another ass tattoo.
ITS LOGIC BITCH.jpg

A slightly ~~less~~ homosexual variant
1guy1cameragoatse.jpg

It's one of those days; when it’s a minute away from snowing, and there was this electricity in the air, you can almost feel it, right? And this dildo was just... dancing with me.
Goatsebusters.jpg

Who ya gonna call?
Goatse-Cookies.jpg

for the (w)hole family (found on the Official Goatse 2.0 Information Group)
Goatseblink.gif

Goatse for epeliptics.
oh exploitable
When you learn how to see it...
Goatse3D.gif

Goatse now in 3D !
Mudkip Goatse.JPG
Goatse - Family Circus.jpg
School Yard Goatse Fence.jpg
Goatse - Ass Can Dispenser.gif

Bitch you better not've made my 7up warm
Goatslight.jpg
Helios Birth.JPG
GoatseBinLaden.jpg

Allah Goatbar
Goatsereaction.gif

The Physics of goatse
Goatse-TubGirl.jpg
Goatse-nom.jpg
Goatse1.gif
GoatseOnSpongebob.jpg
GoatseTribute.JPG
Goatse cartridge.png
Goatse claddagh.jpg
Goatse equality profile pic 2.jpg
Goatsedog.jpg
Goatsefieri.png
Goatsegoround.jpg
Goatsemanvan.jpg
Goatsemm.jpg
Goatsiesto.jpg

Gallery of Lame Copies About missing Pics

Wtfvortexhouse.jpg

Goatse house.
Sand Goatse.jpg

Whoops.
Goatsemini.jpg

Lame cam-whore copy in trainin.
A CHALLENGER APPEARS: Some furry sitting on a steel bar
Kermit goatse.jpg

Muppets have the gapingest assholes

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Norb enforces Rule 46.
Pee-wee Goatse.jpg

Pee-wee Herman looks inside a huge Goatse.
Goatz.jpg

Baaah.
```
Goatse on the BBC
```
Goatsecookies.jpg

I'd eat that shit.
Diamond Mine.jpg

Naturally formed
Hello2.jpg
Showerass.jpg
GoatseWoW.jpg

WoWse
Facial Goatse.JPG

Grindor dies of FACIAL GOATSE caused by Optimus Prime.
Furry goatse.jpg

Furfag version.
Goatse gamelook.JPG
Chef Bert Spagnola with a note in his own handwriting to prove his identity at an internet forum.
Chef Bert Spagnola knife.jpg

Chef Bert Spagnola with a forum admin's name on a knife to prove his loyalty.
Dorian thorn asshole boner.JPG

Dorian Thorn hopes one day his asshole will be as gapingly famous as Goatse's.
Goatsepinkfloyd.jpg

Goatse back in his touring days with Pinkfloyd
Goatse maze.jpeg
RobloxGoatse.jpg

Roblox Goatse.