⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot


    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    (Redirected from Anus)
    Jump to navigation Jump to search

    Goatse predates Encyclopedia Dramatica and is still the most overused shock image here. It is also the inspiration for endless attempts to force TOW to have an article on anal stretching. Goatse was the favorite meme of the GNAA early on, but had become such an old meme that by two years ago, a job fair in Europe modelled its entrance on his open-anus gesture. Nobody knows or cares how Goatse got its name.

    Fun Facts

    Prefered program for goatse users.
    Hard Choice
    File:Tha moon.jpg
    The initial impact of Goatse
    Another initial reaction
    Oh, look - there's a movie out about you!
    Poster of the above movie. A sure hit.
    A challenger appears. Time for some moar Bawwwwww

    <video type="youtube" id="gZXE8T163ZE" width="300" height="200" desc="Doing it wrong" frame="true" position="right"/> These facts are all true:

    • Goatse was hosted on a webserver in Kansas City, making it yet another example in the city's long and storied list of trolls.
    • Goatse has made an utterly benign image title - "hello.jpg" - anathematic. Need proof? Google "Hello.jpg". The first two links are TOW's Goatse.cx and ED's very own copy of hello.jpg.
    • Upset after being Goatse'd? Don't worry: the person who Goatse'd you obviously got Goatse'd themselves; otherwise, they wouldn't have known of the site.
    • The Goatse guy seems to be married because he has a ring on his hand.
    • The Goatse guy appears to have either a rather large pilonidal cyst or a second, virgin asshole.
    • Goatse is the most infamous member of The Power 5.
    • The Goatse guy's best friend is The Giver.
    • Goatse can refer to the man in the picture, the picture itself (hello.jpg), the sex move, or the website that started it all.
    • Goatse enjoys long walks on the beach and FUCKING HUGE DILDOS
    • Despite what you see in the picture (study it for a moment) the human intestine is not a big truck you can dump something into, but a series of tubes.
    • It is supposedly now illegal in the United States
    • There are way too fucking many links to Goatse on ED.
    • Goatse has NOTHING to do with goats, although some have argued a direct link between Goatse and The Goat Tower
    • In some Dutch (more specifically Flemish) dialects Goatse means "small opening". The correct Dutch word is "gaatje".
    • The Goatse domain moved to France (Goatse.fr) you can now sign up for the cryptocurrency "Goatse coin" at Goatse.cx


    The site was first launched in File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 1999 under the domain name Goatse.cx. According to the Wikipedia entry, the earliest known instance of the shock image was uploaded circa 1997 as “gap3.jpg” in a set of 40 additional images compressed into a single ZIP file named File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg "Gap.zip" According to Gawker’s investigative report published in April 2012, the photo set initially spread across gay porn communities on Usenet and was later picked up by The Stiles

    Legislation Inspired by Goatse

    § 2252C. Misleading words or digital images on the Internet
    (a) IN GENERAL.—Whoever knowingly embeds words or digital images into the source code of a website with the intent to deceive a person into viewing material constituting obscenity shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for not more than 10 years.
    (b) MINORS.—Whoever knowingly embeds words or digital images into the source code of a website with the intent to deceive a minor into viewing material harmful to minors on the Internet shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for not moar than 20 years.
    (c) CONSTRUCTION.—For the purposes of this section, a word or digital image that clearly indicates the sexual content of the site, such as ‘sex’ or ‘porn’, is not misleading.
    (d) DEFINITIONS.—As used in this section—HR 4472 EAS.
    (1) the terms ‘material that is harmful to minors’ and ‘sex’ have the meaning given such terms in section 2252B; and
    (2) the term 'source code’ means the combination of text and other characters comprising the content, both viewable and nonviewable, of a web page, including any website publishing language, programming language, protocol or functional content, as well as any successor languages or protocols.

    That means that you cannot misleadingly link it because you could trick people into viewing obscenity. However feel free to link it via AIM, IRC or your favorite chat client because the fact that they are told what every URL actually is technically (arguably) means they are not being tricked.

    The Man Behind The Anus

    After a hard day's stretching, Kirk Johnson takes time to relax (his ass) at home and enjoy the beauty of nature
    Kick Johnson's favorite rock album

    One very persistent internets user spent months and months trawling all the gay erotica and anal stretching newsgroups and eventually located the star of this picture, by matching the pattern of moles on his ass. It is with many lulz that ED advises the world that the Goatse guy's real name is Kirk Johnson, a middle-aged bisexual man with a fancy for oversized black dildos. He posts pictures and videos of himself regularly on the newsgroup alt.binaries.erotica.male.anal.

    The users at Something Awful think Kirk Johnson died at the age of 58 from shoving a volleyball up his asshole in July 2010. However, anyone who faps to his videos know he also posts regularly on Imagefap[1], and has thousands (I'm not shitting you) of pictures of his flexible poopchute. He has multiple videos as well (not for the faint of heart) You can even hear Kirk Johnson's voice! Kirk currently posts videos on http://www.pornhub.com/users/KirkJ and http://www.xvideos.com/profiles/kirkj, not to mention that you can also watch a video of him stretching his anus, and fisting himself, at http://www.goatsevideo.com/. There is a 2007 interview from BMEzine File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg here ArchiveToday-favicon.png(archive).


    Goatse.cx originally linked to Urinalpoop.org and Dolphinsex.org, both of which are now parked. Thankfully, Dolphinsex continues right here on ED. The mere link to Dolphinsex was cited specifically in an official complaint and was used as one of the major reasons why Goatse was B& from the Christmas Island top-level domain (.cx):

    [Goatse.cx links] to unlawful obscene content (site which describes how to have sex with dolphins)



    —Rhonda Clarke, on the Christmas Island Internet Administration (CIIA) Limited AUP Complaint Form

    I appreciate that the Christmas Island community takes immense pride in it’s natural beauty - of which the spinning dolphins are an important part, and note that the links to the dolphin sex web site would have been highly offensive to the users of the IT Centre, particularity children.



    —Garth Miller of the CIIA, in a spelling-error filled final decision to suspend Goatse.cx

    January 14, 2004: The Dream Dies

    Dream is dead: 2006/2007 European job fair with Goatse-themed entrance

    On January 11, 2004, Rhonda Clarke - a whiny resident of the tiny, Australian pseudocolony known as Christmas Island suffering from post-Goatse syndrome - submitted a formal complaint to the Christmas Island Internet Administration (CIIA) and a official Goatse on Google petition. Only three days later, the heartless bureaucratic fucks on the island suspended goatse.cx pending review. Although the exact sequelae are unknown, the registrant may simply have failed to respond, leading to Goatse.cx being automatically permabanned 60 days later (March 12, 2004).

    There can be no doubt that will be viewed by some as “censorship” and a restriction of “freedom of speech”, however the board has specifically drafted polices which give CIIA latitude to (act in the absence of a court order) when there is a compelling public interest in doing so... The “freedom of speech” does not extend to use of our community owned network to facilitate unlawful activity or to intentionally harass or offend internet users.


    Garth Miller, the only person on Earth that uses air quotes when saying "freedom of speech"

    To his credit, however, Garth appeared to sympathize with the ethical nihilism of the internet and to understand Goatse. We can be confident that he was fully aware of the harm he was inflicting on trolls everywhere:

    Goatse was the inspiration for a popular movie
    ...goatse.cx is a well know [sic]shock site” which is intended (one can assume) to be humorous. Although we have received numerous informal complaints, most have raised objections to the images. Although the images could generally be considered to be are offensive and crude, they do not represent child ( or other forms ) of illegal pornography. By internet standards the imagery - although intentionally offensive, is relatively tame...

    ...goatse.cx is... one of the Internets more popular shock sites - it is common practice for many “internet trolls” and third parties to embed hidden links to this site.


    Uses of Goatse

    This magazine cover depicts how America's sovereignty was lost due to being Goatsed by immigrants.

    Wikipedia Drama

    As long as TOW has had an article on Goatse, there have been several persistent users who felt the need to include the image in the article. Like all things glorious that have show up on Jimbo's chain of porn sites, it was quickly nominated for deletion (and deleted) several times. This lead to a huge debate about the inclusion of Kirk's gaping ass, with Wikipedos yelling "NON NOTABLE" and "WIKIPEDIA ISN'T CENSORED" at each other. The final decision was to only keep a link to the original image, and delete all new uploads of it as a "copyright violation".

    A Novel Way To Troll

    Eric [8:47 PM]: dude i have this site i post all my pics on for the class
    Eric [8:47 PM]: want to see them
    Eric [8:47 PM]: ?
    Mike [8:47 PM]: Sure
    Eric [8:47 PM]: they're kind of controversial
    Eric [8:47 PM]: [Tinyurl Goatse mirror link defunct Tinyurl shock site link]
    Mike [8:48 PM]: holy shit dude
    Eric [8:48 PM]: lol
    Mike [8:53 PM]: They were for Gavenus' class???
    Eric [8:54 PM]: LOL yea, he said they were "artistic"
    Eric [8:55 PM]: He said the first was ok, but the second was too over the top
    Mike [8:55 PM]: Yeah I'll say
    Mike [8:57 PM]: OK dude, I just looked at your pic...I still don't know you...you sure your talking to the right s/n?



    Stars of Goatse

    Science has given us a new way to troll with Goatse. Observe the image below and scroll slowly.

    Use scrollbar to see the full image

    NOTE: This is what scientists look at all day.


    On JewTube

    A stereoscopic video
    Fan work

    ASCII Rendition

    g                                               g  
    o /     \             \            /    \       o
    a|       |             \          |      |      a
    t|       `.             |         |       :     t
    s`        |             |        \|       |     s
    e \       | /       /  \\\   --__ \\       :    e
    x  \      \/   _--~~          ~--__| \     |    x  
    *   \      \_-~                    ~-_\    |    *
    g    \_     \        _.--------.______\|   |    g
    o      \     \______// _ ___ _ (_(__>  \   |    o
    a       \   .  C ___)  ______ (_(____>  |  /    a
    t       /\ |   C ____)/      \ (_____>  |_/     t
    s      / /\|   C_____)       |  (___>   /  \    s
    e     |   (   _C_____)\______/  // _/ /     \   e
    x     |    \  |__   \\_________// (__/       |  x
    *    | \    \____)   `----   --'             |  *
    g    |  \_          ___\       /_          _/ | g
    o   |              /    |     |  \            | o
    a   |             |    /       \  \           | a
    t   |          / /    |         |  \           |t
    s   |         / /      \__/\___/    |          |s
    e  |           /        |    |       |         |e
    x  |          |         |    |       |         |x

    If you are a too nice a person to use Goatse as a trolling tool, redirect someone to the shocking ASCII version here.

    File:Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg High Quality HTML rendition


    The Complete Kirk Johnson Collection About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    If you're too lazy to click on every picture, there's a slideshow of the entire picture set here. Be warned, however: this site is owned and operated by the same fgt as Meatspin.

    Gallery of Goatse About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    Gallery of Lame Copies About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
    Hentai Goatse[2]

    See Also

    Ever wanted to know what Goatse tastes like? Now's your chance
    Goatses can be quite tasty.

    External Links

    is part of a series on Web 1.0


    Old Memes  • Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks  • Technologies  • Fun and Games  • Events  • Death of Web1.0
    Click topics to expand


    Portal memes.png

    Goatse is part of a series on


    Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

    Portal trolls.png

    Goatse is part of a series on


    Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.


    Goatse is part of a series on


    Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.

    Featured article July 20, 2006
    Preceded by
    Goatse Succeeded by
    George Bush doesn't care about black people