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Anna Beshnova

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Behold, Anna Beshnova, a normal-looking teenage girl, wearing a Playboy bunny belt buckle, which in somebody's mind or culture apparently screams "rape me." She's asking for it bad.

Anna Beshnova, or Анна Бешнова in the Russki alphabet was a Russian Nazi shlyuha who was punished by being abducted, strangled, and raped after death on the night of September 30/October 1, 2008 as a result of her bad karma arising from what she did to innocent little girls in eastern Nazi Germany in 1945.

Killed by a Filthy Nigger, or Instrument of Karma? You Decide.

The Instrument of God who executed this great vengeance with furious rebukes was a 31 year old Uzbek migrant worker named Farkhod Tursunov, who was sentenced to 23 years in a maximum security prison or what is known there as the Gulag, which probably saved him from being decapitated by Russian Neo-Nazis or from being turned into a human centipede by Anna's close friend and personal physician, Dr. Josef Mengele whom she once saw for a simple yeast infection, which only dirty whores get. Mengele treated her with gentian violet, which was the standard of care in 1945 and took a yeast sample from her vagina to bake bread for his own centipede, Dieter Mantrid. After her death, her Russian Nazi comrades on Storm Front posted this lulzy memorial forum discussion about her death, which mostly focused on the loss of such hot white loli T&A.

Epic IRL troll Arab street cleaner Farhod Tursunov, who was 31 at the time of the crime. He has apparently not aged well. He's probably either thinking, "Allah willed it," or "Man, that was totally worth it."

For some reason the death of Anna Beshnova struck a nerve in Russia and on the Internet. Although this incident is surely not on the magnitude of the Rodney King beating or the various Arab-Israeli conflicts in capturing the Zeitgeist and forcing people to take sides in spewing vitriol and engaging in mass violence, her death has unleashed a mighty and powerful drama bomb prompting a half-German, half-Russian girl named Alex to go on a spree of psychotic ranting in which, much like in a DXM trip, facts and reality separate and swirl and mix together in bizarre juxtaposition and a fifteen year old girl becomes the architect of a holocaust of rape. Alex seems to believe that all Russian people have a blood libel on their heads for the poor treatment the poor Nazis received at the hands and penises of the Red Army, and has gone so far as to say that even her own Russian mother deserves to be raped and murdered just for being Russian. In a good hallucinatory trip, anything can happen, and one can even hear the entire Russian people chant together, in Aramaic, as your spittle of rage runs down your computer screen, “let their blood be upon our heads!” So, in this strange world, how did a 15 year old girl become responsible for the ‘’’RAPE OF 500,000 GERMAN WOMEN’’’?

Theories on Anna's Role in the Rape of 500K+ German Women

There are a couple of competing theories about Anna's role in the mass rape of half a million women citizens of Nazi Germany by the Soviet Red Army. Anna herself in her most recent incarnation was a fifteen year old Russian girl who wasn't even alive during the Soviet era and certainly wasn't alive to rape and pillage and sodomize delicious, blonde, Aryan German loli sixty years ago in 1945. 1945 would have been a horrifying and confusing time for a fifteen year old, even more so than puberty, because "zOMG no internets! And WTF is a rotary phone?" So, how did Anna manage to rape and sodomize 500,000 Nazi German women in 1945? Here are the theories:

  • In a past life, she was a сержа́нт, or sergeant, named Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov (Иван Иванович Иванов) serving in the Glorious Red Army of the Soviet Union who, after reaching Berlin, managed to rape, disfigure, and kill 97 Nazi women in just a week while encouraging his squad to do the same. For cutting off the ample Aryan breasts of his victims, he used a fine German blade he took from the body of a dead Waffen-SS Obersturmführer. His penis was the hardest, strongest, most violent piece of meat ever unleashed on womankind, exceeded in size only by the pen0r of John Holmes. Ivanov is said to have been reincarnated as Anna Beshnova.
  • Anna Beshnova may have traveled into the future in a secret Russian time machine to obtain a mecha armored suit equipped with a giant dildo of death. She is alleged to have traveled back in time to 1945 with the express intent to engage in epic rape. She made her headquarters in Volkspark Friedrichshain in Berlin, and had her Red Army comrades bring her every fifteen year old girl within half a klick to be raped and mutilated for great justice. Lazers were used liberally to send heads, tits, and asses flying so they could be shot like skeet by the Red Army.
  • Anna Beshnova is guilty of zOMG THE RAPE OF 500,000 GERMAN WOMEN because of guilt by association. She is Russian, and is undoubtedly descended from Red Army rapists who ironically contributed to society by making Uncle Adolf eat cyanide for breakfast and a bullet for lunch. This is the same type of blood-guilt that Nathaniel Hawthorne felt over the Salem Witch Trials because his great-great grandfather John Hathorne was the main judge who sentenced the alleged witches to death. In the same way, one of the authors of this article is guilty for the deaths of tens of thousands of Cambodians and Laotians by cluster-bombing because his father was involved in the illegal bombing raids Nixon ordered on these countries.
  • Finally, Anna Beshnova, on the basis of her photos available on the Internet, has been deemed by misogynists to be a skank, a skeezer, and a whore. Further proof of her whorishness is the fact that she had a boyfriend! Not only that, but the boyfriend was apparently a member of Pamyat, a racist Russian nationalist organization not too different from the Tea Party in the U.S. So, following the same logic, one of the authors of this article is a Communist because he once had a serious relationship with a Chinese girl who was still a citizen of China and had been trained to fire a rifle by the Chinese Army. According to experts this is Proof that Anna Beshnova was asking for it, and asking for it equals guilt for THE RAPE OF 500 MILLION GERMAN WOMEN DURING WORLD WAR II!

Handpicked quotes from people on the Internet who don't really give a shit

We suffered a great loss...of tits



...but jeez, if you're going to act like a little slut..



makes me sad ... she had nice tits



What a waste of pussy...



she seemed pretty skanky for a 15 year old.



Judging by the pics and this little bit of info, she was probably not a virgin and who knows if she might have been a tease.



she had it coming?



You guys, I'm totally raping the shit out of this kid's body right now.


—a Moscow funeral director

Hey everybody, I'm totally raping the shit out of this girl because she DESERVED it.



I choked her to death, then cut her in small pieces so I could take my meat to my rooms. Cook and eat it. How sweet and tender her little ass was roasted in the oven.


—Albert Fish, cannibal, serial killer, and time traveler

Too bad I was not alive to strangle her and ejaculate prematurely in my pants during the act.


—Andrei Chikatilo

Trolling Involving Anna Beshnova

Anna icon .jpg

There are two approaches to exploiting this lulzy tragedy:

You could say that Anna Beshnova got what she deserved because she was a Nazi.

The process is as follows:

  • Find either a rape awareness forum or one about history and genocide.
  • Post subtle comments asking if other people think she deserved to be raped since she was a Russian Neo-Nazi.
  • Ask why Nazis are an exception to the rule that "no one deserves to be raped".
  • Engage other members, particularly admins, in private conversations, using the above method. You must be subtle to avoid the banhammer. Pretending to be a rape victim yourself works well. Letting your real personality disorders shine through works too.
  • If you are cute, post Cracky-chan style pictures of yourself cutting, with plenty of fake blood, or emo black and white pics of yourself brooding. If you are not cute, there's always the fat girl angle shot.
  • State what the Russians did, and be sure to make clear how horrible their actions were, and why it is you think in your own twisted mind that Anna was punished.
  • Blissfully ignore how crazy you sound and just open another bottle of Stolichnaya, pop some more pills, shoot some more smack, or drink some more cough syrup. Whatever it takes to detach you even further from reality.
  • Be sure to make some sort of looney bullshit argument about why she deserved to be raped for being Russian.
  • When the wave of counter-attacking posts comes in, argue that the same does not apply to the Germans of the Third Reich, because they were the victims. Equating Nazis with victims creates confusion for them and lulz for you.
  • Make sure to act as if you are totally oblivious to the irony of blaming Nazis for raping Nazis.
  • ????
  • PROFIT! in the form of unnerving, disgusting, and irritating people you don't know and will never meet IRL.

For example:

A half Russian, half German girl named Alex posted this highly inflammatory statement:

"...Every Russian bitch deserves to be raped in front of her family. I have no sympathy for Anna Beshnova; I only wish she lived so she could suffer. All ...the victims of Andrei Chikatilo got what they deserved..."

She went on to say this: " They arn't [sic] my words either, but Anna Beshnova did get what she fucking deserved, and every fucking Russian bitch is worthless and deserves to be raped in front of her family. I even hope my mom gets fucking raped to punish her for being a stupid fucking worthless bitch. And every Russian bitch that isn't slaughtered after should have her hands and breasts cut off to make them usless [sic] and unlovable. I hate every worthless fucking Russian. The men should all be shot, and the ones who arn't [sic] should be forced to watch their bitches be raped."

This sounds very much like the Russian Mafia saying, "Go ahead, kill my mother, see if I care," which indicates that one's loyalty to biological family has been abandoned in favor of loyalty to Братва, or "the Brotherhood."

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