Almost rapped

Almost, but not quite.

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Not even close.

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It never existed.

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An artist's depiction of "Almost rapped". More commonly known as the chav.

To the extreme! of what I don't know.

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Fo' shizzle mah nizzle.

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No Brillo pad can scrape this image from your brain.

Not to be confused with Almost Raped.

For trillions of years the phenomenon of almost rapping has perplexed the white man. Kicking the shit out of black people in every other aspect of life(except sports), whitie has tried and failed many times to master the art of rap (not to mention the arts of frying chicken, eating watermelon, and dancing). Not content with their previous success in failing, black people too--pissing in an ocean of piss--began polluting the tubes with shitty rap. With the advent of YouTube their horror can echo for eternity.

Almost rapping is different from being a fucking wigger because whitie is often well aware of his extreme shit sucking but batshit crazily believes that rapping like a retard is comedy gold. Despite popular opinion there ARE black people on the internets, and not all of them can rap, in fact some of them are so bad they make Miley Cyrus look street/ghetto/urban whatever the hell you want to call it. In a win for multiculturalism, this proves all races are equally fucked up in every way.

Taxonomy

When good internets go bad.

Christian Rap

Christian Rap AKA. C-Rap is ridiculous dog shit produced for the Christian demographic; a.k.a. retards who think a superhero will save them. It is responsible for 99% of terrible black rappers who get record deals as no self-respecting talented rapper would waste their time on it. There is a Christian rap page on MySpace if you want to see more. You won't though.

If this guy isn't a troll, he's proven God doesn't exist.

You want to see more?

If this guy isn't a troll, he's proven God doesn't exist.

"AND THE FAT LADY CAN SING BUT NOT UNTIL GOD SAYS SO WHEN I SAY TRUE BLOOD I AIN'T TALKIN ABOUT THE LUNCH ROOM" <--- These lyrics are not from the same video as BANGIN 4 CHRIST, it's a terrifying trend.

"I'M BANGIN FOR CHRIST, I'M BANGIN FOR CHRIST, DON'T ASK ME WHAT I'M DOING, I'M BANGIN FOR CHRIST, I'M BANGIN FOR CHRIST, I'M BANGIN FOR CHRIST, I GOT MY WAR BOOTS ON AND I'M BANGIN FOR CHRIST, AND THE FAT LADY CAN SING BUT NOT UNTIL GOD SAYS SO WHEN I SAY TRUE BLOOD I AIN'T TALKIN ABOUT THE LUNCH ROOM"

I can't understand any of the lyrics except, "I've got Jesus in my hood", this video appears to have been made on a camera phone.

Old people referring to Jesus Chris as their nigga, surprisingly lulzy video.

Internet Celebrities

Deep Sea Regret

Deep Sea Regret, yo. Do I really have to say.. Watch NAO

IRL Celebrities

What were you expecting? They're all retarded.

Lisa D'Amato

Possibly the worst rapper in history, Lisa D'Amato came 6th in cycle 5 of America's next top model coked-up whore. She threatens to "Pistol whip you in the ass, dawg" which is both confusing and arousing. If this bitch isn't joking I quit life right now. This shit sounds like karaoke.

Jodie Foster

In this disturbing video Jodie Foster, Queen of rape movies, quotes Eminem's Lose Yourself at a graduation ceremony for thousands of University students. It is embarrassing to witness such a horrifying display of whiteness and you may have an anxiety attack while watching this.

Azn rap

Even the Azn trying to rap about SARS which eventually fail.

See Also

• Almost raped
• Soulja Boy
• Wigger
• Chav
• Justin Bieber
• You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

Almost rapped is part of a series on Music Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.