—Unh4ndled on having an imaginary girlfriend.
Alex Ford, also known as Chevex on the Interwebs, is a super-successful bachelor/entrepreneur who literally turned his sad life upside down. After finding the website SuccessfulBachelor.com was available, he snapped it up, lost weight, became fabulously wealthy and now enjoys life every day. Alex is living so large he only works four hours a week and spends the rest of his time playing online poker and Halo. Alex also owns the website U413.com, a powerful uber 1337 h4x0ring community. Here he tries to worm money out of his members with quick money-making schemes.
Alex believes he is a 1337 h4x0r, although still doesn't know how to use IRC and still uses MySpace and Twitter to chat to people. He has also no idea of the concept that one should not feed the trolls. Alex is also a web designer, using Times New Roman as his font of choice. Secretly he forgot the HTML code for font styles. Due to his controlled efforts towards being a totally skilled hacker, Alex
still lives with his parents recently purchased a beach house on a pristine Utah oceanfront with all the money he's made networking bachelors.
Alex is most famous for declaring war on Lmte for his efforts at reverting the edits to his website's ED article, and after failing miserably went and contacted his Lawyer in an attempt to get his already publicly available personal information off the site. He then went on to sue ED.
Oh, and he hates E-penis.
In His Own Words
I have been chasing my success all my life and that journey has brought me here. Now I want to help all of you do the same thing. I experience joy in my life when I see that spark of motivation in yours. As a life coach and business consultant I cherish every minute I get to spend helping someone else. It is an experience that is unrivaled by anything I have ever tried to do in the past.
Alex on LUELinks
Alex used to hang on another uber secret forum known as LUELinks. Alex got promptly banned after trying to bring everyone into his shitty schemes. Soon after, Alex rebuilt U413 and added in features that he stole from LUELinks. Soon after, both sites became rivals with each other because Alex refused to shut the fuck up after being told time and time again to get the fuck out. There are never any wars between the two sites because they are both pretty much locked up.
LUELinks is responsible for Alex's E-penis phobia, since their forum has numbers and his does not. Except of course, for Pi.
Alex found U413's ED article thanks to Google Alerts, since he has it set to notify him on his internet handle. He flipped when he saw it, creating a sticky on his forum asking for his members to come to ED and vandalize the article because his personal information was left there. His members immediately joined him and started defacing the page, soon resulting in the article being locked. In his epic fit of butthurt, he went and told his members to flame Lmte's talk page instead.
—Chevex, declaring war against Lmte for reverting his vandalism
Soon after, Alex went batshit paranoid, realising he had a mole on his forum and his IRC. After realising vandalising your own ED article never works (especially when you use your Internet handle as your ED username), Alex was told by various people that he could have had an Arbchat to get his dox removed. Alex decided it wasn't worth the hassle, so he called his Lawyer to get it done for him. 10 years later we are still waiting for the court papers.
—Chevex not knowing how court works.
After being laughed at by his lawyers, Alex soon backed down, deciding not to attack ED because it just wasn't "worth the hassle".
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ED!111
Following his previous escapade of failing to sue ED, Alex stated he "didn't care about ED or /b/" yet continued lurking both of them like a newfag. He then started contributing to this article as well as the article on U413, also trying to conceal his dox by saying he moved to an "undisclosed location" but also
using find and replace on his old username looking through every word in the article to change Unh4nd13d to Chevex when he could have just copied it all into Notepad and pressed Ctrl+H.
Fatty Alex: Motivation Speaker
Walt Ford is the name of Alex's dad. Walt runs Fords Cleaning, some cleaning service dedicated to getting those cum stains off your windows. Alex's dad is the kind of failure who is generally new to the internets and is regularly ending up copying others and doing it wrong in the process. Below is his attempt at a Where The Hell Is Matt video:
<video type="viddler" id="e3ba8ac" width="425" height="350" position="center"/>
- www.fordscleaning.com/ - His dad's cleaning business (404s when link is followed from ED)
- Alex's dad's Linkedin
- Dad's Twatter
- Dad's Facebook
- A call to Alex's dad.
You could have called Alex on (801) 669-6663 but he disabled his phone service, so you should call him at work. The number is (801) 785-8188.
You can also visit him in person at Ford's Cleaning, 1780 w. Garden Dr., Pleasant Grove, Utah, USA. His postal code is 84062, by the way. Ask about cleaning the cum out of your dog curtains and mention 4chan to receive a 25% discount.
Side note: Alex seems to think that by simply waiting for some form of illegal activity to come of this information, he can get his personal info removed. Unfortunately for his sorry ass, there is no way to prove that the information came from this website (or even that the people affiliated with this website have anything to do with it), considering there are many, many other websites and sources of his personal information. We should all welcome Mr. Ford to the Internets - where so many people have previously attempted the same impossible feat.
- www.U413.com (404s when link is followed from ED)
- U413's MySpace
- www.chevtek.com/OurServices.aspx - Chevtek.com, Alex's "services". (404s when link is followed from ED)
- www.referralnetworx.com/[email protected] - He's kind of a big deal (404s when link is followed from ED)
- Chevex on Twitter - Private
- Moar Twitter
- Even moar Twitter
- Lots of Twitter
- Chevex on YouTube - Was closed to the public, not anymore
His other YouTube account- Closed to the public
- His podcast page
- Alex Ford:SUCCESSFUL BACHELOR!
Alex's Linkedin- Profile not found!
- Alex on Facebook - Completely privatized
Alex Ford is part of a series on