Al Sharpton

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
White folks was in caves while we was building empires ... We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.


Fat Albert Al, referring to the Camito-Semitic Egyptians who were in fact Caucasian, not Negroid. Hey hey hey!


"Albert" Sharpton spreading his love around, and closing the pool in the process.
Bucket negro has a bucket.
He's preaching for you to give him a fuckton of money.
How this man of god spends his free time.

Also known as the black Hal Turner, the Rev. Al Sharpton is a first-class nigger, lolcow, racist, attention whore, FBI/Mafia stoolie, and the arch-enemy of Don Imus. Hiding behind the seemingly moral title "Reverend", he is a moral crusader solely for the benefit of niggers. Al has made a career of trolling White America to its knees, including an attempt at running for President of the USA as a Democrat -despite being a total Jew hater. He currently hosts a show on MSNBC, where he constantly takes any significant event involving a black person and spins it into just another case of "dem crackahass whities hatin' on us niggas". However, Sharpton's ability to victimize the black race has been severely reduced ever since a totally retarded American public elected our Kenyan OG nigga Barack Obama as President. His show could be considered, and by all standards is an hour-long propaganda loop for Obama's presidency. Sharpton, like most Civil Rights Movement figures, is illiterate even by Ebonics standards, and deciphering his tribe-speak mish-mash negro babblings requires a very intelligent individual.

Early Life As A Negro In Philly

Fat Albert Sharpton in happier times - Rudy * Weird Harold just rolled a pimp for his money and crack!

Al grew up originally as Fat Albert Robinson in the middle-class suburb ghetto of Philadelphia. Most assume this is where he developed his illiterate pseudo-Ebonics "language" in which he speaks today. He was good friends with Bill Cosby, and their gang activities youthful adventures became the basis for Cosby's stand-up comedy act in the 1960's. However, as Al grew up, he became involved in the Nigger Civil Rights Movement, and found that Cosby's act effectively countered all the butthurt that Al claimed he and his fellow niggers suffered from at the hands of whitey. He threatened to sit on Cosby and squash him flat if he didn't stop using him in his act, to which Cosby responded by securing a deal with Filmation to produce a Fat Albert blaxploitation cartoon propaganda film series for Saturday mornings. With more money, bodyguards and cap poppers at his disposal, Al was forced to resort to other means of distancing himself from Cosby's painting him as a "nice, trustable, stand-up representative of young black America" - something he definitely did *not* want to be a representative of. "Nice guys" do not rouse the rabble, and Sharpton was determined to fulfill his dream to become a race-card pulling, ignorant, raging negro.

Movin' On Uppity

Al, shown in his early days in the mass media.

Despite the stigma of having inspired the most popular nigger cartoon character since Little Black Sambo, Jesse Jackson gave Al a job in 1969, as the youth director of Operation Breadbasket, a group that was supposed to focus on the promotion of new and better jobs for niggers over white folks. However, Al took the name of the group literally, and used it as a food gathering service that rounded up all the spare food in Philly. Instead of redistributing the food to the lazy needy, Al instead ate most of it and gave the rest to his two pet pit bulls, Amos and Andy. This was of no consequence, as everyone knows niggers suck at work and can't hold down any sort of decent job. Bill Cosby later parodied Sharpton's lulzey mistake in the famous "Fat Albert the Fudge Cook" scene - "one for you, one for me. One for you, one, two, three for me!"

In 1972, Al got his miracle. As he was taking a correspondence course taught by the Reverend Ike on black street preaching for tax evasion purposes, Al's mother confessed something that came as no surprise to anyone who knows how the genetic nigger family trees operate - the guy that had been shacking up with Al's mom for all those years was, in fact, not Al's real father. The real baby daddy - Jethro "Shady" Sharpton - had left her before Al was born, had been sentenced to life for running all the three-card monte games in Philly, and was last heard as having been transferred to Folsom Prison for good behavior so he could catch the famous concert by Johnny Cash. He reportedly died in 1986 of AIDS he contracted from John Holmes, although it is still debated as to who was the one who bent over to pick up the soap.

Upon receiving the truth about who his daddy was, Al celebrated with a hundred-piece barrel of Kentucky Fried Chicken and three gallons of mashed potatoes and gravy. He then marched down to the Philly courthouse, had his last name changed from Robinson to Sharpton, grabbed his bling-bling and gat, and began street preaching for all niggers to demand equality by taking over the US and sending all the whiteys back to Africa.

Operation: Race Bait (The Original)

Al with all his old homeboys

Al then spent the next few years searching for a suitable crime involving a guilty black person, with which he could hype up "the race war" and get hordes of niggers protesting, chanting that "da whitey be keepin' us down". From this, Sharpton would profit handsomely.

Al got his first break on December 20, 1986, when three niggers were assaulted in the Howard Beach neighborhood of Queens by a mob of white men. The three niggers were in the neighborhood for usual purposes - two were breaking into cars and homes, while the third was selling door-to-door subscriptions to Ebony - and after the burglars were caught in the act all three were chased by a neighborhood watch group. One was struck and killed by a passing motorist, and the other two niggers subsequently had the shit beat out of them by "dem whities" while waiting for the cops to arrive to get their share of the action.

A week later, on December 27, Al led 1,200 jobless, rampaging niggers all denominations of welfare checks on a march through the streets of Howard Beach. White residents of the neighborhood immediately began putting "for sale" signs on their lawns. Al's efforts to get charges filed against the neighborhood watch group failed even with the help of an appointment of a special prosecutor by New York Governor Mario Cuomo, who was paying off debt to Al that he'd owed his real father. Any and all charges were dropped when the two surviving victims burglars refused to testify in exchange for all charges against them being dropped, including some 200 parking tickets and the return of their car which had been impounded at least 100 years ago.

Despite this failure, Al managed to get his fat ugly face on the TV news shows, although some stations ran disclaimers to let viewers know that they were not looking at an escaped species of gorilla and thus would not be prompted to call the police or the local zoo to report the escape. He also claimed victory because he was able to induce a mass "White Flight" out of Howard Beach, and laughed about it in interviews as essentially having "not just closed de pool, but closed de entire beach!" His appearance on TV would solidify his presence there for future endeavors.

Further Cases of Racebaiting and Jew-like Scamming

One of the many bribes used to attract people to his organized "protests". Can be exchanged for a $5 foodstamp.

Another case of Sharpton media whoring, in 1987 a case of an almost raped black woman in upstate New York, put Al on the drama map once again. Massive amounts of Lulz were generated after Ms. Brawley reported that she had been finger-painted in shit by some white boys. It was later found out that it was all false and a total load of bullshit.

After the Tawana Brawley scam fell apart, Al found that no nigger with any lick of sense would follow his "whitey be uppresin" scam. As a result, Al changed strategy and started going after whitey himself for being whitey. In 1988 sports broadcaster/bookie, Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder, was fired after saying that Black athletes are better than white ones, due to white slave owners breeding them for desirable traits. Although Snyder was speaking fact - niggers were bred like dogs and cats back in the Golden Days of slavery - Al claimed that Snyder was being racist even though Snyder was claiming that (in some way) niggers were superior to white folk. Snyder's network - CBS - was going to ignore the whole thing, and even planned to air a major expose piece on 60 Minutes showing Al for the scam artist he is, but at the last minute did a complete about-face and fired Snyder, for "offending black viewers". Thus, Sharpton got away with his scam tactics yet again.

After appearing to not have a bias against inverse racism, Al resorted to his old tactics. After four Black teenagers who'd been cruising for white girls to rape were caught in the act by a neighborhood watch group of 10 to 30 white youths who'd been trained by Curtis Silwa in Bensonhurst. One nigger was killed by a member of the whitey group (in self-defense), and the other three imprisoned.

Al saw this as another exploitable money-making situation. He led several marches through Bensonhurst in hopes of provoking the same "White Flight" he'd caused in Howard Beach - especially since he'd made arrangements with a real real estate agent to buy the homes and give him a kickback on the resale! However, nobody bought it and many were mad about this occurrence. Al then bribed many jobless niggers with nothing better to do with KFC and Kool-Aid to his march, but even with that attendance was much lower than expected.

The Final Solution (SPOILER: IT DIDN'T WORK LUL)

Al Sharpton's Day-job. His night job is spreading AIDS

In 1991, when the remaining members of the Bensonhurst neighborhood watch were suspended even in light of their community service in keeping dangerous niggers under control, Al announced an even bigger protest march for January 12, 1991. Before that demonstration began, neighborhood resident Michael Riccardi attempted to solve the problem by trying to gut Al like the hog he is. However, Riccardi used a kitchen knife instead of a standard-issue hunting knife, and Al only received some minor wounds - read: all Riccardi managed to do was to cut some fat and never got close to any vital organs.

Although he failed in his mission, Riccardi became a local hero although Al recovered from his wounds. Through some well-placed bribes on both sides - mostly fried chicken, watermelons and blowjobs - Riccardi went to trial where Al asked the judge for leniency when Riccardi was sentenced. Al then took the assassination attempt as a sign and began eating more in order to produce a thicker, more protective layer of lard.

In 2003, Al conceived yet another race-baiting Jew scam. He decided that Riccardi's ability to even make the attempt was the fault of NYC, and he filed suit against the city. Just before the jury was about to be selected, the city decided to settle with Al to the tune of $200,000 USD, most of which came from drug money confiscated during drug busts and protection monies collected from pimps and their workforce.


Al trolls the Jews

In 1991, New York City was rocked by the Crown Heights Riots which broke out after a car accident. A Jewish ambulance came to the scene, and decided only to treat the injured Jews there. One of the niggers injured later died because the Jews, in their usual fashion, were too fucking cheap to help anyone else, even though it's their fucking obligation.

Al became the mouthpiece for the kids' family. During the funeral he referred to the Jews as "diamond merchants" and damned them to Hell for shedding "the blood of innocent babies". This is probably the only accurate thing Al has ever said.

In 1995, Sharpton led a violent protest in Harlem against Freddy's Fashion Mart, a Jews' clothing store that was trying to take over a Black owned business. Al preached his hate towards Jews, once again, refusing to let a kike take over a business owned by a nigger. Three months later, an armed protester forcibly entered the store and burned it down, killing himself and seven others. Al denied causing any of the real drama, and ran off with money yet again.

Imprisonment (Possible Anal Expansion (?))

Sharpton Blood.jpg

In 2001, Sharpton served a three-month jail term for civil disobedience consisting in illegally trespassing on U.S. property located on a bombing range in Vieques, Puerto Rico. Sharpton was imprisoned for protesting the United States Navy's ongoing bombing and target practices on the island. He apparently was "gonna show dem armee officals dat duh african american community will has its voice herd!".

Well, that's the official line; in reality it simply was that Fat Albert actually saw an opportunity to drop a few hundred pounds on the government's dime, going so far as to hunger strike.

MSNBC "PoliticsNation" TV "Show"

Typical retarded negro speak.

Since August 2011, Al has hosted a political talk show on MSNBC, a notorious "progressive" channel chock-full of faggots, pussies, niggers, and hippies. Him and his show report on the same shit every day. And they take any significant event involving black people and hype it into a "racial conflict", and constantly and brainlessly promote Barack Obama in all aspects. It could be considered a propaganda channel or unofficial PR department for the nigger in the "White" House. And of course, Al speaks in his negro-influenced, totally incomprehensible tribal dialect throughout the whole show, making his bullshit and lies even more irritating to listen to. He also hosts "interviews" and "debates" with brainless Liberals who virtually repeat the exact same thing Al says. Any differing opinion than Al's will never appear on his show. Basically, it's all of Al's faggotry and Jewry combined and presented, one hour, five days a week.

Al Sharpton on gun rights

Niggers don't kill people,guns do

Teleprompter Fail

Sharpton is also known for failing at talking.

They'll Jitty bout da shutdown

The thigh Military

Pentakon Dwittling

Use Tube Celebritties

See Also

External Links

Al's Radio Show

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
Al Sharpton is part of a series of topics related to Black People
Nigra walking.gif Places

AfricaAfro-chanAtlantaDead Nigger StorageDetroitE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRepublic of Sierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe


AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTATransniggerWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz


Aaron AlexisAbner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAlison FloydAl SharptonAmanda KijeraAmericanDad86Antoine DodsonBags of MoneyBANGSBarry BondsBernie MacBill ClintonBill CosbyBlack DiligentBarack Hussein ObamaBLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBLACK_MANBlue-SixBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsC-NOTECandyJunkieCarlos Deangelo BellCarltonCasey BrezikCharlie Check'mCharles RamseyChris DornerCondoleezza RiceCosmo SetepenraCRoadwarriorCulexorCupcake ThiefCyntoia BrownDarius McCollumDangermanDave ChappelleDcigsDramasetterDr. Laura SchlessniggerEugene TerreblancheFresh PrinceFuture the rapperGary ColemanGeneral Butt NakedGeorge FloydG-ZayH2OHappy NegroHerman CainIsmaaiyl BrinsleyIsaac HayesJadaJames BarkleyJames WatsonJeremiah TrueJesse JacksonJkidJoseph KonyKanye WestKerney ThomasKobe BryantLatarian MiltonLil BLoud NigraM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Matrooko11Marvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMeek MillMicah DawsonMichael AregaMichael JacksonMichael VickMike TysonMintahMiss LandmineMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNawlinWikiNicki MinajNigger PigNtokozo QwabeOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOprah WinfreyP DiddyPurple AkiQueen KongRachel DolezalReverend XRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRoyce da 5'9"RucasRudy EugeneSenator Barack Hussein ObamaSheneequaSonicfoxSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSteve StephensSweet BrownRick RossTacgnolTarisai VusheTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThe Booty WarriorThe CrackheadThe TrashmanTiger WoodsTookie WilliamsTony48219Tony EvereadyTrayvon MartinTyra BanksUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIViperWaluigis-girlWill SmithWoah VickyWrong Location Nigger


Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBlack FathersBlack History MonthBOOYA!Dat AssDINDUNUFFINEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWE WUZ KINGZ AN SHEITWHOOYou'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack


365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesCrackDallas Sniper AttacksDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSlave TetrisSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWorldstar Hiphop


BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)


AIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack Lives MatterBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaJena SixP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare


A. Wyatt MannAznCopsDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManIlluminatiKu Klux KlanJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerRacismSpicsPopobawaWWhite peopleWhite supremacyWhitewashing

Al Sharpton
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolcompballPolitical communities

Al Sharpton
is part of a series on Race
[I am offended!!!Click for moar]

Races to Holocaust

Races to Lynch

Races to keep out of your neighborhood
ArabsEnglish ScumWetbacksIndiansInjunsIraniansTurksIrish

Races that need your love
ChineseGooksJapaneseRussiansThaiWhite Trash

Race Representatives
Al SharptonApplemilk1988BoratDuane ChapmanEugene TerreblancheHal TurnerHitlerJesse JacksonKim Jong-ilMartin Luther KingMichael AregaMikemikevNigger (Dog)Nkem OwohObamaOsama bin LadenSuey ParkW

Race oriented groups
419AznBlack Lives MatterEnglish Defence LeagueFurNationGangsKKKMossadMujahideenReconquistaStormfrontMetapediaNobel Prize Committee

Racial ideologies
The Fourteen WordsAfrocentrismWhite supremacy