⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
Aion: The Tower of Eternity
|100px||Aion: The Tower of Eternity is going to be fixed up later...|
So stay tuned!
—Chob, Moustache Wielder and Commander of Aionsource
Aion, also known as タワー オブ アイオン, 아이온: 영원의 탑, Lineage II with Wings, and Land of the Chinese Gold Farmers, is another MMO made by Korea’s version of Blizzard, NCsoft. If you really liked World of Warcraft, or any other MMO for that matter, then you’re in luck. With Aion, you won’t be leaving your basement anytime soon, as the developers have made a game that would have graphics that would be as realistic as a fucking movie, but have content as interesting as a Sonichu comic.
After ripping off the CryEngine used for Crysis graphics, the game developers decided gameplay didn't need to be unique or different from other games. People would only be allowed to complete content in their shiny new mmo and get much needed Internet fame if they had dedication. So, if you aren't willing to give up your life savings and several thousand hours in playtime, then you're out of luck. The plot and gameplay don’t really make any sense in the beginning either, and as you slowly wrap your head around how the game works, you soon realize that you will be sitting in your chair for a LONG time. The community is not much help either, as it 50% gold spammers, 25% 13 year old boys, and 25% pedos.
How to Play
- Grind to level 18.
- Grind to level 50.
- Complete all of the campaign quests.
- Do the long and hard Fenrils/Miragents chain quest to get all of the epic PvE armor set.
- Once you get the last piece of the awesome PvE armor set, the credits will then come in and roll meaning that you have completed the game of Aion!
- Kill yourself.
Races & Classes
- Elyos: High elf-angel hybrids. Amuria draws these often. They're more Final Fantasy-ish than the other race...
- Asmodian: They're essentially dark elves. With dark skin and so-totally goth getup, they are a favorite of "hardcore" players with "badass" characters.
- Shugo: They're the Jews of Aion because manly all of the NPCs in Aion that sells, buys, auctions items are Shugos, it is a rumor that the war between the Elyos and the Asmondians started because the Shugos knew there would get some profits if they had a war going on...those fucking Shugos.
- Baluar: Zerg rip-off looking creatures which are the true bad guys, but if the Jew didn't say to the Baluar that Aion was going to plan a mass genocide on them, this whole war wouldn't have started in the first place, it goes to show that the Jew are the true bad guys.
Being the "tank" class of the game, these guys have ridiculous defensive abilities that no one can really match, and in most mmos, these abilities are only useable in pve. Thanks to the broken, disfigured mechanics of Aion though, templars are also one of the best pvp classes. For example, when an enemy tries to run away, the templar takes out his BSDM whip and forces him to come back for some painful, violent sex that can't be prevented. This is considered balanced in Aion though, as most people are concentrated on the 10 year leveling process.
A class that depends on stuns just like what a guido heavily depends on using roids to attract fags for a good time. Assassins are only good for rifting, and DPSing the hell out everything and using stealth to surprise those carebears PvEr's and making them butthurt and spam LFG that they can't level and attain epic PvE items. Assassins are also the red heads of the Rangers because of the fact that they will be
OP in the upcoming patch 1.9, actually the Assassins are screwed in 1.9 because the skilled players found out that the Assassins are a pure skill class and they are nothing without their precious stuns, feel free to reroll on a Sorc as it will become the FOTM class.
A class somewhat comparable to an autistic squirrel with two broken legs, a gladiator is like the fucktarded cousin of the assassin and the unwanted stepchild of the templar. If you want your playtime being defined by frustrating battles comparable to a small animal facing off against a F-22 fighter jet, then the gladiator might be for you. Everything kills them. Assassins? Yep. Templars? Yep. Ants? Yep.
Nicknamed ragers because all they do is cause other people to rage, rangers are the overpowered, broken character favored by the sweaty, pimple faced teens and internet tough guys playing the game. They are the “jock” class and if you pick one, everyone automatically equates you to being a monumental douchebag. But if you want to troll the fuck out of people and make life hard for everyone else, pick a ranger.
If you’re a 13-year-old goth who spends his time listening to Slipknot and Children of Bodom irl, then this might be the class for you. The angsty, emo counterparts of the superior sorcerers, spiritmasters cast evil spells and control a variety of walking sex toys. While other classes are busy attacking the giant vibrators and pocket pussies, the spiritmaster puts his dots on them. If his dots succeed in killing the target, the spiritmaster has the option of having violent sex with the dead body as is the norm in goth culture.
— Deezlar of Aionsorce
Aion is like every other MMO in that to get to the actual content you care about, you have to spend weeks leveling up as high as possible. In any standard RPG, leveling or progression steadily increases by about 10% or 20% per level. This causes a more enjoyable game because the player isn't overwhelmed by sharp increases. If the expreience points necessary to level up double for every level gained, it leaves the impression that the carrot is unreachable.
NCsoft has done exactly this. With 75% of the game taking place between levels 40 and 50, they're essentially forcing you to grind tens of thousands of monsters after 45 with no other content.
—Standard forum troll 101
Great Trolls? Or Greatest Trolls?
Not to be outdone by their competitors, NCsoft hyped the ever-living shit out of Aion. We're not talking advertising here, we're talking thousands of Aion Fanboys spamming their ever loving MMO on every MMO forum out there raving how amazing the game will be, and how it is going to be the ultimate WoW killer. Many people will tell you that NCsoft didn't send these people but anyone who tells you that is a faggot Aion fanboy.
The Aion Fanboys with their constant spamming MMO forums did however convinced the denizens of these MMO forums that they were telling the truth that NCsoft is indeed the best MMO company out there, but if you did played City of Heroes, Lineage 2, and the many other great title games NCsoft hosts, and if you weren't a retard, then you would know NCsoft is widely considered as one of the worst MMO companies out there (who have the money to be worth a shit), producing the biggest grinding curve in every pay to play games they produce and had a horrible reputation before Aion. But of course, when the game turned out to be horse shit, Everyone was surprised because the Aion fanboys did their damn job of over hyping this shitty Lineage clone game with wings.
But the fun doesn't stop there! Although they have a smaller western player base than Free Realms, Gaia Online, and Age of Conan; Aion-Source, the Aion Fanboy place to be at has an endless supply of lulzcow worthy drama waiting for EDiots to milk the shit out of.
Short Timeline of Aion
- Launch Day:
I hear you say to yourself: "How can they possibly fuck up launch day? They knew the exact number of preorders because they worked with GameStop and tracked it on their website on a counter they bragged about! It would be impossible to not have enough capacity!" And you would be right, but you're also not NCsoft. NCsoft knew they would have at least 500k players on their first two days because of preorders, but they purposly capped servers at 25% capacity, and made 9 hour queues on most servers. Why? They did it for the lulz., and to troll hard a lot of eager players to play Aion which ensued mass butthurt in the forums afterwards.
- Misleading Beta:
We're talking Age of Conan quality here folks, but then again NCsoft took this whole crap to a whole new level. Just like Funcom another great MMO company that will overtake Blizzard someday, NCsoft purposly capped their Beta at level 30 to "preserve fun". Less than a month into the game, the population realized they were tricked. Levels 1-30 were considered the "good stuff" of the game, and after that there is an amazingly large spike in XP curve and a huge drop off in content, just like what you would encounter in some shitty generic Korean MMO. All those hardcore Aion fanboys who spammed in every gaming forum because the beta was so awesome pretty much proceeded to become an hero after this incident.
- YOU'RE BANNED:
NCsoft pretty much got their thinking caps out together and thought of a great plan to pull out their banhammer and hit their player base's weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE. The hammer came down viciously considering the players had the ability to report people automatically for farming and botting, and NCsoft started banning people for simply talking to a gold seller, or people who unknowingly purchased an item on the AH from someone who bought gold. NCsoft seriously banned around 10-20% of the people who bought the game in the first few monthes. NCsoft did this all for one reason: For fucking profit, and just when they slashed their price on the game, they knew that these retarded fanboys would come back and buy their game again at half price. Fucking touché indeed NCsoft
- Server Transfers:
After two months, the game was losing players, as many of the players found that this was not the ultimate WoW killer they were looking for. Not only did about half their players simply stop playing in the first two months, but they REPORTED banning over 100k more. Server numbers plummeted and PVP dried up. But hey! Those pesky wait times are gone! NCsoft is quoted as announcing that Server Transfers will be available in November 2009. So they kept their word right? What do you fucking think? They're still not in the game yet after seven months, yet they announced that it will cost $25 Jew dollars for a transfer, yet again showing that NCsoft is looking for more profits before they dump this shit game like what happened to Tabula Rasa.
- The Banning Continues:
After a while, their numbers fell even more, and NCsoft's hammer arm got tired, most likely because NCsoft masturbated too much with that hand or perhaps they finally found out they couldn't make any more jewgold because the retarded fanboys got the picture and decided to finally quit, but that didn't stop them from fucking up anymore! So you own a fort with your Legion, and everyday out get your money. Do you take it out and get on with your life? Thats what I thought too! Thats until NCsoft sent everyone trillions of Kinah in the mail at random, and banned everyone who took it. The great insult wasn't that some bored neckbeared did it for the lulz, but that they have a system in place that automatically bans you with no questions asked if you open a mail with too much money in it. Yes. You can actually grief people by sending them a lot of money in Aion. I guess these Aion developers forgot to turn it off because the retards actually found out they were doing it for profits.
- Fortress Timers:
In a minor hotfix, NCsoft randomly lowered the time you have to capture a fort from 2 hours to 30 minutes. This made taking a fort mathematically impossible on most servers. Also, it desynced the dredgion so the balaur can't take forts back because of this timer. They still haven't fixed this.
- Patch 1.9:
Forward months ahead, and servers are down to less than 1000 online at peak on Friday. Korea has had Patch 1.9 for months now, but NCsoft are being stupid as always and delaying the date to perhaps 2012. The hilarity ensues when NCsoft says it is being delayed because of translation time, and everyone with rational thought tells them that 1.9 is just a bug fix and class balance patch, so there is literally nothing to translate. Don't worry guys, NCsoft has never lied about a date before. Let's not get started by the amount of butthurt fags that are playing Assassin at the moment and they are planning to boycott NCsoft if 1.9 does indeed nerf their skilled based class.
- Public test Server:
In Last Thursday, it was announced that Aion will get a testing realm! Holy Shit!, NCsoft must be pretty desperate for profits, so they decided to go along the Blizzard WoW route and make a test server! And in true Aion fashion, every single person on the forum went into a shitstorm with hype, trolls found this as an opportunity into getting the fanboys to waste $15 Jew Dollars to resub the game, and then watch them complain afterwards that their test server was nothing more but a meer joke. There were people who had signatures counting down to the test realms opening, and they were 100% sincere in their excitement! Aion was so depraved of anything at all to do, that people were actually resubscribing to play on a realm that their characters will be periodically wiped from. Can they seriously fuck up a standard feature in every MMO for the past 10+ years?
What do you think?
- Patch 2.0:
SPOILERS: Patch 2.0 won't be the saving grace of Aion, and everyone will just run off to another MMO capable of deeming to be called the ultimate WoW killer, but everyone knows that the ultimate WoW killer will just be another fucking clone of WoW. Those that stay in Aion will make 5 lvl 30 characters just to get the greatest ganking set of armor, and Aion will be nothing more but twinked out characters PvPing each other... oh wait. Actually, the game is not bad now and better then wow in some ways. And WAYYYYYYYY better then FF14.
- Server Merges Announced:
On May 18, 2010, server merges were announced because Aion is plummeting. Fanboys claim that HATERS GONNA HATE, even going as far as saying that if you don't like Aion, you probably can't afford it. However, they're just in denial that Aion failed in the west. Retards.
- Patch 1.9 Released!
On June 2nd, NCsoft finally released Patch 1.9 in the west. The patch came four whole months after the korean patch, and created massive lulz within the community. When it released, the forums immediatly sprang to life with complaints. The fact that the patch was 4 months late, was enough to incite violence, but the patch lowered quest rewards, making the grind take longer. On the other hand, it made gold loot drop far more often in the few dungeons the game has, making you get all the loot from them and causing you to quit that much faster.
- Server Merges!
Server Merges are coming, and they plan to lower the game to having 5 NA servers, combining 3-4 servers into one server. Surely they can't fuck this up, they've had so many shitty MMOs fail in America so they should have tons of experience in this field.
Edit: Sonova Bitch. Spoke too soon. Proof positive that NCsoft are simply trolls doing their best to make Americas hate South Korea, meaning NCsoft is actually secretly ran by Kim Jong Il.
Tits or GTFO
Aion is one of two MMORPGs that feature Aurora Technology's Gender Identity System. With this system, players who want to create a female character must pass a Webcam Test. Aurora Technology believes that restoring a player's real gender can make female players feel respected.
It should be noted that lulz would likely ensue if an actual female were to fail said webcam test.
NCSoft, with its abundance of intellect, recently decided to block IP address ranges where a large percentage of users fell under the same IP. Considering that a substantial number of players were connecting via proxies due to NCSoft's server lag, this was an obvious mistake.
It is suspected that these "server full" messages were caused by hundreds of crazy-ass nigras who decided to attack a mystical online universe instead of closing pools, although it is at least 100% true that the servers were, in fact, full due to AIDS.
Yeah it was fixed, but who the fuck cares?
Why do you guys all run when the first 50 shows up? I noticed this last night and today. Asmos are always out ganking away in Eltnen, especially right by Golden Bough Garrison not too far from the temple. Asmos just griefing it up.
Then one elyos 50 comes out and kills one of you guys, and suddenly you disappear. This happened to me just a couple hours ago. Some sorc was there camping the area with all those crab looking creatures and killing every lowbie that was there. Then suddenly he got dropped in like three hits or so by a 50 assassin that popped out and took him down.
A few minutes later, that same sorc was back again with a few friends. The sin took down the sorc again and the lowbies in the area help as much as we could. We ended up killing the gankers and the sin hung around watching over the area so we could finish questing. No more asmos the rest of the day.
I gotta tell you, if the asmos on this server are that terribad that they flee at the first sight of a level 50 elyos when they don't have enormous numbers on their side, I'm gonna have so much fun when I get to 50 and get some gear.
I'm gonna be a HUGE griefer. I'm beginning to think, just based on what I've seen here so far, that the asmos clearly rely on their numbers and not on skill. Every time I see an elyos 50 vs an asmo 50 1v1, the elyos almost always wins. It's like the old horde vs. the alliance in WoW, where all the alliance had was numbers, but all the skilled PvPers played horde, and it showed whenever the numbers were even.
I get ganked a LOT while questing here regardless of the zone. Eltnen, Heiron, Abyss, doesn't matter. But what it's teaching me is how to survive. And I'm sure other low level elyos are learning the same thing.
No way I'm transferring now.
- Tabula Rasa
- Final Fantasy
- Rogue, a superior RPG
- World of Warcraft
- Official website
- An unrelated website
- A fansite
- Another fansite
- Yet another fansite
- A sub-par fansite
- A Canadian fansite
- A never-updated fansite
- Can you guess what happened?
Aion: The Tower of Eternity is part of a series on
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.
|Aion: The Tower of Eternity is part of a series on MMORPGs.||[Ding!]|