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    Advertising

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    Atomic.gif Warning!
    Advertising is another method used by the Jews to extort money from you.
    You can help yourself by not falling for their petty scams.
    50px This article does not need an entire list of all the ads you fell for.
    You can help by not doing that.
    File:Pigirl.jpg
    Honesty in advertising is rare but always appreciated.
    File:JewAdvertising.jpg
    The jews are obviously controlling our thoughts


    Advertising is the promotion of goods and services, usually paid for by the providers of said stuff. If Jew Gold is the root of all evil, then advertising is the fertiliser. Advertising is also the #1 product of America, in fact, in the age of free trade and everything Made in China, advertising is about the only thing that America actually makes any more. Accordingly, advertising is the de-facto 'gasoline' that drives the whole US economy and, in turn, that of the whole world. If consumers, the beasts of burden upon which capitalism is born are deprived of information as to the wealth of crap available to make them truly happy and successful in life, then they will not know what to spend their hard earned, disposable income on and deprive businessmen of obscene wealth.

    Advertising also owns the Internet. Contrary to popular belief, the Internet is not free and does not run on magic fairy dust. For example, if you have a popular, growing site that increasingly demands additional and larger tubes to deliver the abundance of product for a continually growing audience, along with fully functional pumps and storage tanks for all of the Internets, but can't find Jews willing to part with their precious money, the site owners will be hard pressed to keep on providing finely crafted infotainment (such as lulz, drama and happenings) out of their own pockets and the goodness of their heart. If the demand overwhelms the supply, the tubes will start to back-up and eventually burst and necessitate the cessation of services unless alternative funding is available.

    The basic idea of advertising itself isn't a bad one and there is nothing wrong in advertising your product to the possible buyers, how else would they know about your wonderful products, such as "easy toothbrush" and "Hawaii chair"?

    Advertising on the Internets

    One way that advertising has taken prominence since the 21st century is advertising via the Internet. Most of the ads you see are the banner ads that usually lead to a "meet and fuck" site, or some other faggot's Tumblr page that nobody gives a shit about. Another kind of annoying ad are the autoplay video ads for some boring shit such as kids clothing and crystal meth. Nobody ever goes to their sites because the ads are annoying as fuck and only make people rage at their computer screens. Also, let us not forget those shitty pre-video youtube advertisements that everyone hates and that only makes them rage harder. Aside from all other forms of advertising, OTI ads are probably the most annoying bundles of shit the 21st century has to offer.

    How to circumvent the ads

    It's easy. It's so easy that anyone could do it. Follow the steps below for a simple, ad-free browsing experience:

    1. First, if you are running IE (any version), delete it. IE doesn't support any kind of ad blocking software.
    2. Install Google Chrome, Chrome is of the best internet browsers out there. It kicks the ever-loving shit out of IE.
    3. Type adblock in the search engine and click the first link that pops up. (or click on the embedded link, dummy!)
    4. Click add to Chrome, a message will pop up and ask if you're sure. Click 'add'.
    5. ????
    6. PROFIT

    Enjoy your ad-free browsing experience. This will likely make the Jews butthurt that you are blocking their shitty ads. Another reason to use this ever-so-prestigious software.

    Types of Advertisements

    In need to of moar monies and Jew Gold, the marketing men and Women have developed various techniques to achieve said valuables, such as false advertisiment and junkmail. With these two great methods, the sales have skyrocketed and market now controls the goverments of the world. By using this superior marketing technique, the salesman and big corporate bosses have build great bussiness imperiums. This comes in 3 diffirent levels, depending on how bad the product itself is, since good products don't need such methods.

    Deceiving advertisement

    This is the least abusive method, which is used to make the product at hand to appear better than it actually is by using various backgrounds and lighting methods, or using sexy females to advertise the product. The japanese love to do this. Just look at the McDonalds girl. For example, fast food restaurants use this level one method to sell their food to the hungry masses.

    Misleading advertisements

    This is a very common method in the marketing business, where the company misleads the consumer with seducing images that makes the average male in you want to explode in their pants upon seeing the advertisement. Misleading images can range from hot women wanting in your pants, before and after pictures of your dick, or you successfully trolling 4chan with 3 easy steps.

    Outright lying about your shit

    File:Wrinkles4626131.jpg
    Typical online advertisement only you would fall for
    Michael Jackson black to white pills, they really work!

    The most desperate and effective method of advertisement, usually sent as junkmail. This can range from Indian telemarketers claiming there's something wrong with your internet connection to street drug dealers and Nigerian scammers in third world countries. if you manage to fall for one of these scams, you are officially a complete fucktard.


    Every Advertisement Ever

    The Truth

    If the phrase "Apply Directly to the Forehead" stuck with you, the ad worked exactly as intended. Doubly so if you want to make fun of the woman for being a retard - the only retard in the advertisers' mind is you. From their point of view, the next time you're looking for headache relief, what's the first brand your mind will flash back to? The one they made sure to repeat three fucking times in the commercial? Oh, right - "HeadOn, Apply Directly to the Forehead". Wasn't that a funny meme, now?


    See Also

    Vince Schlomi advertising for ED


    Advertising is part of a series on Language & Communication
    Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
    Click topics to expand
    HitlerPikachu.png
    [RecessionInflation]
    £€ Advertising is a part of a series on Money
    150px Companies

    AdFlyAdobeAmazonAppleAT&TBDICBellBitcoinBurger KingCelestial ToystoreComcastDisneyDuckDuckGoeBayFox NewsGNWTGoogleHappy Madison ProductionsIBMIKEAMicrosoftMcDonald'sMTVNew Media RockstarsNintendoNovellOracle CorporationPatreonPayPalSonySun MicrosystemsT-MobileVerizonViacomWal-MartWikiaYahooYouTube

    People

    Steve ChenLyor CohenBill GatesChad HurleyL. Ron JeremySteve JobsMario LaudicinaBernie MadoffLarry SangerMartin ShkreliHal TurnerJimbo Wales

    Ideology / Politics

    Bailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie

    Selling

    AdvertisingBitcoinBriberyExtreme AdvertisingBilly MaysPorn AdvertisementsShamwowSpamSubservient ChickenWinnebago ManGeorge Zimmer

    Topics

    419 Nigerian Email ScamsThe Dot.Com BubbleEconomistEconomyForeign GirlfriendInternet moneyJew GoldMoneyPoorProfitRape dollarsScientologyToilet Paper Hoarding