⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
Everything has to start somewhere, and for the vast shitpile that is teh internets, it's here. The Advanced Research Projects Agency Network (ARPANET), a branch of the KGB (or not), decided in the late '60s, that a computer network that could survive a direct nuclear attack was high on the list of priorities for a country that was already suffering the Vietnam War, the Stonewall incident (Gays) and Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in. Considering that even the most basic pocket calculator was beyond the reach of the common man, no doubt the rest of the US population didn't agree. But fuck it, since when did the Democrats behave like they were living in a democracy? 20 Squillion Pesetas were set aside for the project—Lyndon Johnson writing the memo to the Treasury Department with two fingers.
The Dawn Of Packet Switching (Important, Lol)
Where earlier computer / network systems (such as the Babbage Number-Ukelele and the ZX Spectrum) used the quaint data-communication system of circuit switching (like old telephone exchanges, except with added Miltopia), ARPAnet was the first network that utilized Packet Switching. In other words, data was sent in packet form, allowing one machine to communicate with more than one machine at a time). Links could now be shared! Packets could be sent independently!! We seemingly don't give a shit nowadays and take this for granted!!! Well, whatever. It was a more innocent (and bloodthirsty) age.
At 10:30 PM on October 29, 1969, the first message was sent over ARPAnet - Which went something like; "HELO MY NAME IS FESTUS I NEED YOUR GRACIOUS HLP IN ORDER TO RECEIVE £200000 FROM BANK OF LAGOS..." it was routinely ignored, as the nigra hadn't been invented yet.
Network Control Program (NCP)
ARPAnet sent it's first data-packets through what was known as the 1822 Protocol (as that was the year Charles Dickens wrote A Sale Of Two Titties), where each message sent consisted of a message type, a numeric host address, and a numeric field. The host's address would then be picked up by the 1822 hardware interface, and delivered to wherever it was destined for. However, this system turned out to be largely shit, so the Network Control Program (NCP) was created instead.
It must be pointed out that the NCP is NOT the same as the OCP - The OCP was busy running Detroit.
The NCP allowed the use of Application Software to be used network-wide for the very first time, which implemented higher-level communication protocols. This allowed bi-directional process links to develop between machines on the network. The next step is playing Duke Nukem across it, but that would be going off on a tangent. After which, this system in turn became TCP/IP, of which we all know. The End.
Awesome Achievments For Teh ARPAnet
Long before Yahoo was a glint in the milkman's eye, ARPAnet had surpassed many landmarks. These included :
- The first E-Mail. This was sent by Ray Tomlinson (but to whom has been lost in the mists of time. The main consensus is that he was trolling for Loli on MySpace)
- FTP was first used on the Network in 1973. This development was required most urgently, as a young technician had found himself an hero after inserting large Foolscap Files into his anus. He who dares.... PROFITS????
- Network Voice Protocol (NVP) was pioneered on ARPAnet, but never worked well as lurching violently from the wheel to the internal combustion engine is never a good idea. Anybody using an Internet Café in 1996 would be well aware of this.
What ARPAnet Means For Us
Well, you're reading this fucking thing on the internet, aren't you? Do you REALLY want to return to the days when you had to sneak a copy of Penthouse out of your local convenience store? Would you rather go to a store and buy that copy of Private Benjamin without letting some cretin mail it right to your door? Damn right, you wouldn't.
Things That Wouldn't Exist Without ARPAnet
- HACKERS ON STEROIDS
- INTERNET HATE MACHINES
- Exploding Vans
- Tough guys
- Dog Curtains
Was The ARPAnet Beneficial For Mankind?
What's next for the ARPAnets?
After 40 years in existence, DARPA finally realized this internets business is complete shit, and has decided to start the project again. This obviously proves that government agencies are agile organizations that can turn on a dime, making key decisions in a heart beat. Or not. However DARPA should be cut some slack in this regard, since it spent the period 1972 to 1996 changing its mind about what the fuck it wanted to be called. Clearly knowing what acronym should be kept top secret was a key activity for the boffins they employed. It was also probably much more interesting then working on Multics.
- ARPAnet Maps Slashdot shit. Aaarrr, me hearties!
- A History Of This Great
- The Computer History Museum Photos of fucking ARPAnet being tended by '70s Human Refuse with William Shatner haircuts.