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    ALL CAPS

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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    This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!
    File:Firefox-nostyle-ss.png
    PROTIP for reading this page

    All Caps is cruise control for cool. using the "Caps Lock" key makes you become an important and respected internets user. everything you say will be terribly interesting and insightful, members of all genders will want to have sex with you, and you'll be good in bed. It will also make you sound like BILLY MAYS.

    WHEN USING the All Caps method, REMEMBER TO PRESS IT AGAIN WHEN YOU ARE THROUGH BEING COOL.

    Usage

    Caps lock is commonly seen in:

    Trivia

    • Billy Mays is was is (he lives on in our hearts) the only human being to advertise in all caps... verbally.
    • Typing in all caps will give you an erection!!
    • all caps > not all caps.
    • Caps Lock is Cruise Control for Cool!!
    • Even with Cruise Control you still have to steer!
    • Caps Lock cures AIDS!
    • The script of the movie 300 is written in all caps.
    • this is sparta without caps lock.
    • Typing in all caps immediately makes you invulnerable to pain
    • gluing your shift key for eternal caps is fine too.
    • capslock is an anagram of cockslap
    • even candlejack uses the caps lo
    • CAPS LOCK IS YOUR FRIEND.
    • Caps Lock is used by people who KNOW THE TRUTH AND TELL SHEEPLE TO WAKE UP

    Caps Lock Day

    Caps Lock day is June 28th and October 22nd, as if one wasn't enough.

    HTML

    Adding <div style="text-transform: uppercase;"> to the top of anything with text is sure to piss people off.

    Gallery

    Caps Lock video

    So Cash version

    HEY SMALLPOSTERS,

    MY NAME IS JOHN, AND I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. ALL OF YOU ARE FAT, RETARDED, NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF THEIR DAY SMALLPOSTING. YOU ARE EVERYTHING BAD IN THE WORLD. HONESTLY, HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER GOTTEN ANY PUSSY? I MEAN, I GUESS IT'S FUN MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES, BUT YOU ALL TAKE TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN JERKING OFF TO PICTURES ON FACEBOOK.

    DON'T BE A STRANGER. JUST HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. I'M PRETTY MUCH PERFECT. I WAS CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, AND STARTER ON MY BASKETBALL TEAM. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, OTHER THAN "SMALLPOSTING"? I ALSO GET STRAIGHT A'S, AND HAVE A BANGING HOT GIRLFRIEND (SHE JUST BLEW ME; SHIT WAS SO CASH). YOU ARE ALL SMALLPOSTER FAGGOTS WHO SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELVES. THANKS FOR LISTENING.

    PIC RELATED: IT'S ME AND MY BITCH

    Gorilla warfare version

    WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SMALLPOSTERS JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME, YOU LITTLE SMALL POSTING BITCH? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED LARGEST POSTED OF MY CLASS IN THE NAVY SEALS, AND IVE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS SECRET RAIDS ON SMALLPOSTERS, AND I HAVE OVER 300 CONFIRMED KILLS ON SMALLPOSTERS. I AM TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE AND IM THE LARGEST POSTER IN THE ENTIRE US ARMED FORCES. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT JUST ANOTHER SMALLPOSTING TARGET. I WILL WIPE YOU SMALLPOSTERS THE FUCK OUT WITH PRECISION THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE ON THIS EARTH, MARK MY FUCKING WORDS. YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SMALLPOSTING TO ME OVER THE INTERNET? THINK AGAIN, FUCKER. AS WE SPEAK I AM CONTACTING MY SECRET LARGEPOSTING NETWORK OF LARGEPOSTERS ACROSS THE USA AND YOUR IP IS BEING TRACED RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR THE STORM, MAGGOT. THE STORM THAT WIPES OUT THE PATHETIC LITTLE THING YOU CALL YOUR SMALLPOSTED LIFE. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, SMALLPOSTER. I CAN BE ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, AND I CAN KILL YOU IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED WAYS, AND THAT'S JUST WITH MY BARE HANDS. NOT ONLY AM I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED IN UNARMED COMBAT, BUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS AND I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULL EXTENT TO WIPE YOUR MISERABLE ASS OFF THE FACE OF THE CONTINENT, YOU SMALLPOSTING SHIT. IF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT UNHOLY RETRIBUTION YOUR "LITTLE COMMENT" WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN UPON YOU, MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE HELD YOUR FUCKING TONGUE. BUT YOU COULDNT, YOU DIDNT, AND NOW YOURE PAYING THE PRICE, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT. I WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, SMALLPOSTER.


    Bel-air version

    NOW, THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW
    MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED-TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
    AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE
    JUST SIT RIGHT THERE
    I'LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE OF POSTING BIG

    IN WEST PHILADELPHIA BORN AND RAISED
    ON THE PLAYGROUND WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
    CHILLIN' OUT MAXIN' RELAXIN' ALL COOL
    AND ALL SHOOTIN SOME B-BALL OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL
    WHEN A COUPLE OF SMALLPOSTERS
    WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD
    STARTIN MAKING TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
    I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOM GOT SCARED
    AND SAID 'YOU'RE MOVIN' WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL AIR'

    I BEGGED AND PLEADED WITH HER DAY AFTER DAY
    BUT SHE PACKED MY SUITCASE AND SEND ME ON MY WAY
    SHE GAVE ME A KISS AND THEN SHE GAVE ME MY TICKET.
    I PUT MY WALKMAN ON AND SAID, 'I MIGHT AS WELL KICK IT'.

    FIRST CLASS, YO THIS IS BAD
    DRINKING ORANGE JUICE OUT OF A CHAMPAGNE GLASS.
    IS THIS WHAT THE LARGEPOSTE OF BEL-AIR LIVING LIKE?
    HMMMMM THIS MIGHT BE ALRIGHT.

    BUT WAIT I HEAR THERE'RE PRISSY, BOURGEOIS AND ALL THAT
    IS THIS THE TYPE OF PLACE THAT THEY SHOULD SEND THIS COOL CAT?
    I DON'T THINK SO
    I'LL SEE WHEN I GET THERE
    I HOPE THEY'RE PREPARED FOR THE LARGEPOSTER

    WELL, THE PLANE LANDED AND WHEN I CAME OUT
    THERE WAS A DUDE WHO LOOKED LIKE A COP STANDING THERE WITH MY NAME OUT
    I AIN'T TRYING TO GET ARRESTED YET
    I JUST GOT HERE
    I SPRANG WITH THE QUICKNESS LIKE LIGHTNING, DISAPPEARED

    I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR
    THE LICENSE PLATE SAID 'BIG' AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR
    IF ANYTHING I CAN SAY THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE
    BUT I THOUGHT 'NAH FORGET IT' - 'YO HOMES TO BEL AIR'

    I PULLED UP TO THE HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8
    AND I YELLED TO THE CABBIE 'YO HOMES SMELL YA LATER'
    I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM
    I WAS FINALLY THERE
    TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE LARGEPOSTER

    See Also

    External Links


    ALL CAPS is part of a series on Language & Communication
    Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
    Click topics to expand
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