⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
Many people are aware of just how batshit insane and devoid of all sense of reason Deviantart and its tardlets can be. They are known to be crazy and obsessed with meaningless shit like shows that aren't even aimed at their own target demographic, the infinite rants of drama and emo attention whores who's biggest dilemma in their whole lives is who to ship with who or pondering with their lens flared self-insert if they're ranting about their obsession of the week enough or not. Another recent dilemma for the tardlets is "just how many Epilepsy-inducing gifs can one post on their Tumblr before they're overdoing it?" Hint: None at all! Keep posting infinite browser crashing images non-stop, everyone loves that twitchy shit!
Who's in love with a serial killer.
A real serial killer.
Who's really, really obsessed with this serial killer, wants to fuck him, writes really shitty self-inserting fanfiction about the two of them and if you don't like that FUCK YOU.
No, this can't be for real. It's got to be a tro- no, it is? FUCK.
The dude in question
"MY JEFF" was not only into rape, dismemberment, necrophilia and cannibalism, but also adored killing animals and putting their heads on a stake as a past-time. Adorable. He also adored raping both straight and gay men (and occasionally shota) so not only 7jackass77 wouldn't be on his hit list, but he wouldn't even pay attention to her, because Jeffrey was a massive faggot.
—Don't ask what a nody body is. Might be the tool Jeffery used to lure the boys to the yard late at night.
So, what do you get with a freak who's in love with a serial killer? Fanfiction of course!
And yes, there will be bad porn. Fifty Shades of Whatever+My Immortal style. What's fanfiction without bad porn anyway?
Serial killer meets retard. I assume. This fucking piece of shit won't load no matter what.
7jackass77 and two other dipshits, Omar and Arrianna (wait you mean Arianna or Arriana?) go check out Jeffery's apartment for some reason despite the high chances of getting raped, eaten and mutilated before dawn. Our protagonist is instantly turned on by the fact that she's stepping inside the lair of a killer who never got caught because the apartment was big and wide and pretty cozy for a cannibal. The jackasses literally keep screaming and shouting that the apartment belonged to a killer, just in case nobody knew. Not to warn other people, but in order to inform the ignorant people that JEFFERY DAHMER WUZ HERE, OMG. 7j77 knows that the owner is a fake, because Jeffery should have a real red redneck accent. (Wha...?)
It turns out to be him anyway, just as 7j77 falls asleep with spiked coke with her other dipshit friends fast asleep. In the middle of the night.
You know were this is going.
7j77 is woken up by Troy (wait who?) whom gets knocked out for trying to save his friends. 7j77 tries to escape but Dahmer catches up with her and throws a drill into her head. BOOM, HEADSHO- wait no she's okay, only tied up and fed good old HUMAN FLESH alongside her dipshit pals while calming and HARDCORE Linkin Park music is played in the background. Omar is mysteriously missing. ARRRRGHriANNA got raped in-between chapters by the sad, small, blue-eyed man with his messed up short blond hair [actual quote] and Troy probably got unwillingly buttsexed in the process as well. You'd probably (read: definitely) try to warn someone else from outside in order to be rescued and get the hell out of there, but 7j77 bravely hops towards where Jeff went off to, curious about what he was doing. He only raped her friends and made them eat Omar after all, no biggie. He was beating the shit out of everything into his room. Rather than take advantage of this distraction, she hopped back to her place and willingly wanted for Jeff to come back. Nice going dipshit.
In typical Twilight fashion, Jeffery goes all emo and begs 7j77 to stay with him despite being a monster. Troy does a strange nose.
Then he kills everyone, eats them all and cleans up after him. The end.
Fuck that, that would make sense. 7j77 goes all Kagome and tells Jeff that she'd stay no matter what. Rather than take her literally and eat her anyway in n̵̨̈̂̐̉̀͘ö́̿ͫ̂̏̀ͩ͋̌͝͡wͦ ͌̈ͦ͐̌̍̈̈͠yͤ̋̽͏̵ȯ̃͛̏ͦu̧ͩ́̈̈̃'́̋ͪ̅͂ͮ̄͊̚҉̨lͣ͡l̢̨̾̂̋ ̛̇͒̃̇͌̇̓̉̽̕ş̛͂̏ͬ͆͒ͩ̊̽tͬ́͝a̴̢ͪ͒̎̀y̋̉͡ ̉w͂ͪ͐͢i̷ͮ̂̓̆ͪ͟͏t͛̐͌̏̐̂͑̀h̡̓̄̃̏ͯ̍ ̡́ͪ́̏͐͟m̨͐̀̔ͥ̚͜ė͋̆͂́ͨ͏͞ ̸̢ͥ̀͗́͢f̉ͣo̵͂̂̆̐͂͛ͩ͊rͪ̊̋̒͑̑͝ë̢̢̛̉͑͌ͮ͐̐̄v̔̓ę̴͋̄͋͝r̒̆̍ͧ́̽̈́ͣ̋͞ fashion, Jeff pusses out and frees her. And her friends. Speaking of her friends, rather than say "I'll stay but set my friends free", 7j77 decides to drag her freshly raped pals along because fuck it, this guy needs some friends. Friends he can rape and mutilate whenever he pleases, of course.
—Now this is a friend I can rely on.
Troy actually tries to fight back despite being Mexican EL GASP and ARRRIANNNNA gets locked into a room. 7j77 and Jeff "bond" by reminiscing the pass victims and 7j77 goes in a full on tl;dr rant about her love for Leatherface, her love for bullying her friends and her being depressed due to everyone thinking that she would grow up to become a serial killer.
Later she changes her clothes from Jeff's close. Aaaaaaand cut.
7j77 wakes up the next day and rightfully checks if she got raped while she was asleep. Jeffery asks if 7j77 likes her toast sunny up and she immediately admits that she is a Furry. (The bird kind?) They leave ARRR-gh and Troy alone because they make strange glares at a fucking serial killer, boo fucking hoo. They watch television together, commenting about the cannibal jokes used in Family Guy and Spongebob and diss FOX and Nick for making them kid friendly in kid's hours, retards. Jeffrey tells 7j77 to bring an innocent victim to his lair in order to reap and mutilate instead of his new BFF pals, which he would have anyway had it not been for the fact that this is fanfiction. This is 7j77's response:
Of course, rather than plan to escape, Troy, the misspelled chick and 7j77 try to get fresh meat for Jeff. An African American faggot. Don't look at me, that's what it says on paper. Because Jeffery loves man meat, but not too much. Later, the already brainwashed kids (didn't take too long) completey comply to Jefferey's wishes and try to bring an unaware gay man home. They meet an old woman whom is a game breaker. If everyone knows where Jefferey Dahmer lives why don't the police arrest him, and why doesn't anyone do anything about it? Fuck logic. Arrrinnn instantly starts duking it out with alcohol because she's German (is this sum racism?) and later she starts ranting in German about Nazis and a better world filled with Nazis and everyone bowing down to their leader, rants that she's Hitler and says Hi Hitler (HELLO racism!) while Troy shakes his pants off... for some reason.
They take a dude hanging out in the bar, thinking he's gonna get some but gets a hammer in the head instead. Poor dude.
Mature tag. You know what that means.
Poor dude probably took it in the ass. Meanwhilse, 7j77 watches moar Spongebob.
Double rape! Dude gets ass raped from BOTH ends! Troy discovers he's a massive faggot! 7j77 watches yaoi instead of Spongebob.
Wait, text? 7j77 checks herself again for self-antirape checking. The gang probably go do Jeff's bidding again. I don't care.
Chapter Fuck It
Fuck it, there are way to many chapters of this shit. Let's just assume that:
1) Jeffery and 7j77 fall madly in love with one another. They get married and eat human flesh at the reception. As always.
2) ARRRGH-ri-ANNA gets preggers with Jeffery's babby, everyone's okay with it. Later she aborts it and becomes the first Nazi German pirate in existence. She also legally changes her name into MAX Die Destroyer, not only because that name is spelled properly, but because fuck it she's a Nazi German pirate. Are you gonna reason with that?
3) Troy participates in Street Fighter 4 as a Vega-ripoff and brings Zangief back home. Zangief was never quite the same again.
5) Some other chick shows up for there to be an awkward love triangle between her, 7j77 and Jeffery. Because anime that's why.
4) Jeffery tells it straight to 7j77: he's gay, he's faggy and gosh darn it he feels pretty. 7j77 commits suicide in the process.
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