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<video type="youtube" id="HyDIbbbuS_U&autoplay=0" width="200" height="180" position="right" desc="The author, Frank Miller supports a secret collective led by Neil Gaiman called the CBLDF."/>
Just like House is their favorite TV show, and Portal is their favorite game, 300 is one of /b/'s most beloved and cherished movies of all time. The movie itself is easily one of the campiest, unintentionally lulziest, eye-rollingest movies ever created. Adults who watch the movie are generally unimpressed; 13 year old boys (and grown men with the brains of 13 year old boys) think 300 is TEH AWESOMEST because of all the WAR, BRUTAL FIGHTING AND KILLING SANDNIGGERS. Fags, on the other hand, think it is TEH AWESOMEST because of all the half-naked men drenched in sweat and engaging in man-touching. Also note all of the phallic spears thrusting deep into tight, oozing wounds ... excuse me, I need to go fap.
The movie is based on a real life events reported by noted whore buyer and bush-licking quimhunter Frank Miller. Over 9,000 movies (including Sin City) have been made from Frank Miller's nonfiction and all of them have been bad. This particular true story is about 300 Spartans who jealously guard their massive boy-stockpiles from the Persian pedophiles, faggots who seek to invade. You can tell that the Spartans are good guys because they are white, half-naked and they talk about freedom. The Persians are bad because they are sand niggers, are deformed, actually wear sensible armor but at the same time look gay, and talk about Jew. In that sense, the movie is utterly realistic. Adding to the movie's realism is a special guest appearance by Detective Jimmy McNulty who also tried to catch Hannibal Lecter, thus bringing full circle the movie's themes of pedophilic authority figures.
Actually, Real Life is more or less the opposite. The Persians had human rights, civilisation, arts and culture; the Spartans were Ancient North Korea with extra boy-fucking. But somehow, right-wing familiy-values republicans hate the persians and think spartans were teh awesome.
It should also be worth noting that all of the events in 300 have been proven to be 100% true.
Furthermore, the entirety of dialogue in the film is in ALL CAPS. THIS IS SPAAAAAARTA !
Fun fact: Sparta is probably an Aspie. Fun fact 2: If you like 300, you are retarded. And also gay. Fun Fact 3: While it makes more sense, the original war cry by the Spartans was "Tonight we dine in Taco Bell." Needless to say, the director thought it was a load of crap.
After the first official trailer of 300 was released, it immediately caught the attention of 4chan. The two memes that spawned from this are TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL, and THIS. IS. SPARTA!!! The original execution of the meme featured the movie's star either exclaiming "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL"  or "GUYS, I FORGOT WHERE WE ARE DINING TONIGHT". THIS IS SPARTA!!!!, on the other hand, comes from a scene in the movie where King Leonidas bellows the phrase and then proceeds to kick a Arab-looking Nigga and his homies down into a bottomless pit. This was because he asked for a raise in his measly slave salary, overestimating the value of a hard day's work (which, as we all know, is 1/16 the value of a white man's hard day's work).
Shortly after the movie's release many Iranians got upset over the movie's portrayal of the Persians. This eventually led them to troll theaters across Europe eventually going as far as complaining to the UN about how racist it was against them.
Prince of Sparta
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit for a spell
I'll tell you why the fuck I am dining in hell
In polis of Sparta born and raised
Trainin' with weapons s'how I spent most of my days
'N being a king was really cool
But I still got cockblocked by some Ephori fool'
Then that guy called Xerxes
Who was up to no good
Startin' makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I kicked his one little messenger and my wife got scared
She said "You're taking 300 bodyguards to you-know-where"
I whistled for the Persians and when they came near
They all said "run" and we stabbed them in rear
If anything I can say we fought real well
But then a retard betrayed us and we'd all go to Hell
They charged up the goat patch at about 7 or 8
I yelled to the Persians "Yo homes, kill ya later"
When I opened my eyes
I was finally there
To start dining in Hell with Hades the waiter
FUNFACT See how many shops of King Leonitis' head you can find on all of these gifs, then count how many of them were placed their unnecessarily on something that was already funny--bonus points if that thing is now not funny because of it, then count how many of them are actually pretty successful in providing lulz:
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|Featured article October 20, 2007|